Sen. Cruz, Would You Suck A D**k To End World Hunger?
An effete Liberal college student would really like to know
In a way, you almost have to feel for Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Mordor). OK, you don’t; but work with me here, and perhaps you’ll eventually smell what I’m cooking.
During his tenure in the Senate, Ted Cruz has proven himself such an oleaginous and objectionable asshole that he’s become a target for any Liberal with an ax to grind…in other words, pretty much all of us. Even his Republican colleagues almost universally despise him, so it’s easy to understand that there’s virtually nothing likable about the junior Senator from Texas.
So when a Yale student stood up and asked a (well, sort of) reasonable question of Sen. Cruz, it was nothing if not understandable. After all, Ted Cruz is one of America's most widely despised political figures. Moreover, it’s commonly known that he’d throw his wife under a bus to be President. After all, he did that to her in 2016. The Senator swallowed his tongue when Donald Trump called his wife “ugly.”
I don’t know about you, but I’d probably skin anyone who said that about my wife. Then I’d turn their hide into lampshades. But that’s just me.
So for someone to deliberately attempt to embarrass him is easy to understand. After all, Sen. Cruz has all the personal charm and appeal of fermented dog vomit.
Sadly, the poor young man who bravely addressed the Senator asked the wrong question.
This is an inappropriate and incorrect question. Not for whatever reasons Ted Cruz didn't like the question, or that Michael Knowles didn't like the question. Knowles responded, "Like a typical leftwing undergraduate, you are engaging in consequentialist ethics."….
There were many laughs in the live studio audience, as Knowles said just a few too many words about how blowing guys is "flagrantly immoral." That was weird.
But it was still the wrong question.
Because there was a question just BEGGING to be asking that could have included the laugh line that the student wanted to include, one that would have embarrassed Sen. Cruz even more. After all, the Senator is the same spineless creep who sucked up to Donald Trump AFTER the Orange Edge Lord insulted his wife.
INSULT MY WIFE AGAIN, AND I’LL LICK YOUR OTHER BALL!!
This question is inappropriate because of the suppositions it makes, namely that Ted Cruz cares if global hunger ends. A lawyer for opposing counsel would object and say "assumes facts not in evidence." To construct a question like this, you've got to make the carrot at the end of the tunnel something a reasonable observer would at least think Ted Cruz might really want, for the price of blowing some guys.
Therefore a better construction would be:
"Assuming Donald Trump would punch you in the face and spend the night with your wife afterward, would you blow a bunch of guys?"
Perhaps the saddest part of the exchange was the Senator’s response: “If it would solve world hunger, would you vote for Donald Trump?”
Jeebus, at least blowing a guy won’t risk Armageddon, knowhutimean??
And just what the Hell is “consequentialist ethics?” I’m a pretty intelligent guy and I’ve even studied ethics at one point. I don’t know I’ve ever heard that term, except perhaps from a smarter-than-thou Conservative who makes up Liberal putdowns on the spot.
Unsurprisingly, Cruz never did answer the student’s questions. So, according to a rumor I just started, Sen. Ted Cruz will absolutely fellate anyone if he thinks it will help stop world hunger. Or, more likely, help him get elected President
Take a number and get in line. I think I’ll sit this one out, thank you. Just the thought of that kinda gives me the creeps.
Even though the kid may have asked the wrong question, I think he may be on to something. I think Democrats should recruit a nationwide network of volunteers who will follow Sen. Cruz around and ask him gratuitously offensive and/or graphic sexually explicit questions. Because I know the Young Republicans Club at Texas A&M would LOVE to know if Sen. Cruz will fellate a man if it would solve world hunger. Or climate change. Or help the Aggies’ football team win a national championship.
Because Sen. Cruz is very open to unusual questions like that, right? And even if he isn’t, it’s an excellent opportunity to have some fun at his expense.
It would be nice to wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his pudgy mug and that dead weasel that passes for a beard, even if only for a moment or two.
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