Sen. Ted Cruz- A blight on humanity AND a curse to Texas' sports teams

Someone needs an enema...or an exorcism

Stupidity neither needs a visa nor a license; it freely travels in your state of mind.

• Ehsan Sehgal

Don’t underestimate how far your stupidity can take you.

• Craig D. Lounsbrough

There are times when I almost feel sorry for Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX). Almost. Then I remember what a smarmy, sleazy, greasy asshole he is, and any impulse I might have had to cut him some slack disappears. How could it not? The man has America’s most punchable face, seedy and fungible morals, and an undying commitment to…himself and his unquenchable self-interest.

The junior Senator from the Lone Star State might be America’s most hated man, a solon hated even by colleagues in his own party from almost the moment he set foot on the Senate floor. His naked ambition and incandescent self-interest have rubbed nearly everyone in the senior chamber wrong at one point or another.

Now it’s become clear that Sen. Cruz is more than a pain in the ass; he’s more like an actual curse to Texas sports teams. Wherever the Senator goes, the fortunes of Texas teams have an unfortunate habit of heading due south.

Senator Ted Cruz showed up on New Year’s Day to support the Texas Longhorns at their Sugar Bowl showdown against the Washington Huskies. Despite a 12 and one record before the big game, the Longhorns ended up losing 37 to 31. Some fans have blamed Cruz for this loss, even though he didn’t actually participate in the game. This wasn’t like Donald Trump’s 2020 coup attempt. Cruz was just a passive observer.

Texas sports teams don’t seem to do well when Cruz supports them in person. Since 2017, sports bettors are 15 to two on betting against a team when Cruz is present. This has led to what people who believe in such things call the “Ted Cruz curse.” It doesn’t just affect American democracy but also important things, like sporting events.

How bad is what might be called the “Curse of Ted Cruz?”

It got so bad that last fall, Houston Astros fans begged Cruz to stay home for the critical seventh game against the Texas Rangers. He refused and the Astros lost in a blowout to the Rangers, who’d go on to win their first ever World Series championship. Cruz did not slink away in shame but instead insisted that he wasn’t a blight on humanity, despite all obvious evidence.

“Lying hacks @RollingStone: For 7 years, Catherine & I have attended nearly EVERY Astros home playoff game,” he complained on the generic social media site. “If they’re going to blame me for our recent home losses, pls also credit us for TWO World Series Championships & SEVEN consecutive ALCS’s — we were there cheering Stros on!”

So, Ted Cruz is arguing with the media about whether or not he’s worse luck than 13 black cats in a room full of broken mirrors. This seems like more icing on his political tombstone.

Someone not so testily insecure might have taken the ribbing in stride. Instead, he gave it life and credibility by addressing it head-on. Sen. Cruz is, of course, in no way responsible for the performance of Texas’s sports teams. Whatever happens whenever he’s in attendance is nothing more than an odd, perhaps even humorous, coincidence.

Ted Cruz (n.)- Latin for “badass”

But in proper Cruz thin-skinned form, “Cruz did not slink away in shame but instead insisted that he wasn’t a blight on humanity, despite all obvious evidence.” The junior Senator from Texas IS a blight on humanity, and there’s ample evidence to support that claim. The truth is that he lacks the self-awareness to recognize and accept it.

Sen. Cruz is up for re-election this year, and his seat is again looking vulnerable, though it’s anyone’s guess whether the polls will hold up in September. He seemed to be seriously vulnerable in 2018 and still easily defeated Democrat Beto O’Rourke.

Since he won re-election in 2018, he’s tried to overthrow the duly elected government, abandoned his freezing constituents during a devastating winter storm, and cost the Astros a World Series pennant. These are probably all equally bad, so maybe Texans have finally suffered enough and are willing to put Cruz out of our misery.

CNN ranks Cruz’s Senate seat as one of the 10 most likely to flip in 2023. Everyone else is either from an actual swing state or is a Democrat in West Virginia, Montana, or Ohio. Cruz is the incumbent senator from Texas, where Republicans dominate. Nonetheless, Cruz is remarkably unpopular. He hasn’t yet sunk to Kyrsten Sinema levels, but his approval rating is underwater. He won re-election by less than three points in 2018, while Republicans John Cornyn and Greg Abbott won their most recent elections in near blowouts.

Sen. Cruz is facing serious opposition from Rep. Colin Allred (D-TX), an intelligent, articulate, former NFL player and current Congressman from the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Allred is Black, which, depending on how one chooses to look at it, maybe a boon or a handicap. Either way, he figures to be a formidable opponent for Sen. Cruz.

Either way, there’s no denying that he’s capable, knowledgeable, able to handle himself in a debate on the issues…and intelligent enough not to allow Sen. Cruz to waylay him in a debate.

Allred is the current favorite to win the Democratic nomination to challenge Cruz. In the third quarter of 2023, Allred raised $4.7 million to Cruz’s reported $5.4 million. CNN notes, though, that “the massive small-dollar donations [Cruz] inspires from his detractors don’t necessarily translate to defeat for the incumbent.” This was unfortunately the case in 2018 when Democrat Beto O’Rourke consistently outraised Cruz yet still came up short.

A former NFL player, Allred is honest, decent, and he doesn’t make your eyes bleed when you look at him. He’s everything Cruz is not. That also means he’s a Democrat in a state where that party affiliation is its own bad luck charm. Allred has previously defeated a Republican incumbent and would like to continue that streak.

What people outside the Lone Star State don’t realize about Texas is that it’s turning increasingly purple as people move in from California and other blue states. The urban areas- Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Austin, and others- have gradually become Democratic strongholds.

While most people in rural Texas would still vote for a ham sandwich if it had an “R” behind its name, that’s becoming less true in some of Texas’ larger cities. And that may be enough to put a Democratic candidate like Colin Allred over the top. However, it’s difficult to know because polling in Texas is notoriously tricky. Polling in 2018 had the Cruz-O’Rourke Senate race much closer than it turned out to be.

Polling in the Lone Star State is a crap shoot at best and a random number generator at worst. Candidates rely on polls at their peril.

[Allred’s] campaign plans to make health care a key issue, especially abortion rights. Texas has passed draconian Fugitive Uterus Act abortion bans, and Allred has spoken out against the horrible Kate Cox situation. Cox had to flee the state to terminate her high-risk pregnancy, and Republican Attorney General Ken Paxton and the Republican-controlled Texas Supreme Court seemed intent on letting her die or suffer permanent injury.

Cruz, an inveterate coward, has refused to even discuss Kate Cox, whose brutal treatment from the state was the direct result of policies he still vocally supports. He’s a horrible senator and leader, and Texas is better off if he abandons politics and devotes his life to Dave Chappelle-style comedy.

Make the better choice, Texas, and maybe we’ll all enjoy the end of the Cruz curse.

Be still, my foolish heart. Nothing (save for Trump losing a fight with trans fats) would raise my spirits more than listening to Sen. McSmarmy giving a concession speech at a hotel in downtown Austin on election night. He can go back to being Simon Legree or whatever he did before he hoodwinked the sheeple of Texas into voting him into the Senate.

I live for the day when I never have to see Ted Cruz on television or hear his voice again. That will be a very good day.

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