Social Media- Faceless Random Orwellian Madness? Or Just A Good Idea Gone Wrong?

When will the Great and All-Powerful Zuck come for you?

So this showed up on Saturday afternoon when I did the same thing I do pretty much every day save for Sunday. I posted something on my Substack and then tried posting notices on my Facebook and Instagram pages. I’d do the same thing on Twitter, but I was banned from Twitter in early April for a maddeningly stupid misunderstanding. I’ll get to that in a bit.

I want to start by expressing how thoroughly gobsmacked I was to see this notice pop up- in red letters, no less (AW, MAN; YOU DONE F*****D UP NOW!!! THE GREAT AND ALL-POWERFUL ZUCK IS PISSED!!!).

“You recently posted something that violates Facebook policies[.]” Hmm. Notice how Zuck’s Randomness Police don’t mention WHAT I posted that was so terrible, awful, and horribly offensive. They only advised me that I posted “something that violates Facebook policies.” Only that THE GREAT AND ALL-POWERFUL ZUCK IS PISSED!!!

OK, which policies did I transgress?

There are so many possibilities, so if they’re not going to tell me, perhaps I should guess? It’s all very Kafkaesque (you know what you did wrong, Jack), don’tchaknow?

• Was it when I posted the video of Donald Trump being fellated by a Shetland pony? Sure, it was tasteless…but it was kinda funny, wasn’t it?

• Was it a dick pic? Nah, ‘cuz pink and wrinkled isn’t exciting or visually appealing.

• Or maybe it was the shot of Donald Trump grabbing Steven Miller by the p***y? ‘Cuz when you’re a star, they let you do it, don’tchaknow?

The truth is, I have no idea what I’ve done to offend the Great and All-Powerful Zuck because no one has made me aware of my “transgression(s),” only that I’m “temporarily blocked from using this feature.” What makes it even more frustrating is that they didn’t tell me WHAT feature they blocked me from using. So I had to try to post something to discover the feature I’m “temporarily blocked from using.”

Oh, I can’t post anything. So, that’s it. Thanks for the heads-up, y’all.

I’d like nothing better than to study up on your ironclad-yet-surprisingly-fungible community standards. There’s one problem, though- you haven’t told me what community standard(s) I’ve violated.

And to make matters even more amusing, I got this masterpiece on my Facebook page Saturday night:

“This post goes against our standards on adult sexual solicitation?” I wonder if the content moderation trolls at Facebook Intergalactic HQ bothered to read the piece? Or did they jump on the title and assume it was sexual solicitation? Good Lord, y’all; does the stupid never end?

How does this violate Facebook’s community standards? IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ADULT SEXUAL SOLICITATION. Not that the content moderation trolls would know that because I’m guessing they didn’t bother to check to determine the truth. They would’ve had to read it, which I’ll guaran-damn-tee they didn’t take the time to do.

Ready. Fire. Aim.

And I love the “You can disagree with the decision if you think we got it wrong” sentiment. Sure, but I can’t do anything about it, can I? I have no recourse, no avenue for appeal, and no opportunity to make my case. So I’m limited to your one-sided, knee-jerk reaction.

But thanks for allowing me the freedom to disagree. That’s sweet of you.

You’ll have to forgive me for venting my frustration; I feel trapped in Franz Kafka’s The Trial. Those who are trying me for a grave crime know what I’ve done, but I don’t, and thus I have no defense.

It's only because of their stupidity that they're able to be so sure of themselves.

• Franz Kafka

The absolute worst part of this? There’s no one I can talk to about this. Social media companies are like the Borg collective- gray faceless entities that operate like a hive mind. You’d have a better shot at winning the lottery than reaching an individual to discuss a specific policy.

The hive-mind decides. The hive-mind decrees. The rest of it, sad to say, is left to the individual to figure out. And good luck with that, eh? I could promise never to post a Photoshopped picture of Hulk Hogan sodomizing Donald Trump, but I don’t even know if that was why the Great and All-Powerful Zuck was upset. Besides, that was SO 2016; y’all are a little late, don’tchathink??

And then there’s Twitter.

Believe it or not, Twitter banned me for this tweet. I was responding to the question posed by @MysterySolvent, and someone at Twitter’s Dark Star interpreted this as a threat of violence. I asked for a review and explained my side. I made it clear that I was in no way advocating, inciting, or threatening violence. It was a joke and a response to the question posed by @MysterySolvent.

Sure, perhaps I could have worded it more artfully, used quotation marks, or praised the limitless brilliance of Caribou Barbie, but it was a humorous response (or so I thought) to an amusing question (or so I thought).

I appealed twice and received the same response:

No, you didn’t investigate. If you had, you’d understand the context of my tweet. You’d know the tweet was in no way “threatening and/or promoting violence in violation of the Twitter Terms of Service.”

Do y’all not understand the meaning of “context?” SRSLY??

Furthermore, if you’d bothered to look at my tweet history, you’d know there’s never been a pattern of advocating, inciting, or threatening violence. I don’t even like or approve of violence. But, unfortunately, it seems like you decided that I was nobody of consequence and thus didn’t waste time doing any due diligence.

Now that Elon Musk has taken over Twitter, I wish y’all a quick and exceedingly painful death. Y’all could’ve been something special. Instead, you’ve allowed Twitter to become the playground of Right-wing trolls. Not only that, your content-management police have a sense of humor reminiscent of Mike Pence.

They're talking about things of which they don't have the slightest understanding, anyway. It's only because of their stupidity that they're able to be so sure of themselves.

• Franz Kafka

Instagram hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park, either. They’ll sometimes yank pictures off my feed with a nonsensical explanation. It seems as if there’s no consistency or coherent rationale. For example, I’ll occasionally repost a cartoon that a well-known cartoonist posted. While Instagram may take down the cartoonist’s original post, mine often remains undisturbed. It’s the same cartoon with the same message, so why does Instagram treat them differently?

For example, this happens to Jesse Duquette with surprising (and distressing) frequency. Instagram has previously admitted that its algorithm is biased towards Right-wing voices, but that has nothing to do with this sort of suppression, right?? Youbetcha.

Social media companies generally don’t charge for the services they provide. Instead, they rely on advertising to generate revenue, but that doesn’t mean that those of us who use their services aren’t customers. Without us, there wouldn’t be Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram to sell advertising. So you’d think Meta (Facebook and Instagram) and Twitter would recognize the need to provide good customer service.

[Insert spit take here]

You might think that, but you’d be wrong. Neither Meta nor Twitter have ever placed much (read: ANY) emphasis on customer service, which is why they’ve ended up with numerous frustrated customers like me. So one could conclude that neither company gives a damn about their customers…and one wouldn’t be wrong.

The right understanding of any matter and a misunderstanding of the same matter do not wholly exclude each other.

• Franz Kafka

Fortunately, I wasn’t wedded to Twitter, and I don’t miss it. I can still search Twitter and embed Tweets, which works well for me. From where I sit, Elon Musk and Twitter can dissolve into dust and be distributed upon the trade winds into the Mojave Desert. Twitter adds little value unless you’re a troll, hater, and/or Right-wing wack job.

As for Facebook and Instagram, they’re both good ideas that have been polluted almost to the point of irrelevance. Perhaps ten years ago, there may have been some value to those networks, but disinformation and Right-wing trolls have long since eradicated that. Unfortunately, Facebook has failed to keep up with the threat posed by those who’d used it for nefarious purposes, and Instagram hasn’t done much better.

Social media is an idea that still has tremendous potential, but it’s been corrupted by those trying to monetize it instead of seeing it as a public utility. I don’t think the future will be kind to Facebook or Twitter, and deservedly so. Unfortunately, neither Elon Musk nor Mark Zuckerberg has proven themselves to be the sort of people looking to create a social network for a better and more connected world.

I think the future will require something new and different, though I’m not nearly technically adept enough to speak to what that might be. As much as people on the Right might cringe at this suggestion, a new social network might require government investment and regulation. It seems the profit motive only queers the end product.

Greed is not always good, eh?

In the meantime, I keep thinking it would be nice if Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram would get their $#!& together…or disappear altogether. Neither will happen anytime soon. And that’s the problem we face.

Stupid has a nasty way of hanging around for the long haul.