Ted Cruz- Joe Biden Murders Children Under A Full Moon Dressed As The Devil

Oh, and he sings Pat Benatar songs...probably off-key

“To recap: it is possible to put decent information into a Government Machine, have ordinary, good people running the thing, and a reasonable system in place, and still get utter idiocy out of the dispenser?"

"More than possible. Likely.”

• Nick Harkaway

He's a moron being an asshole. You don't shoot people for being assholes, or the human race would be extinct.

• LS Hawker, The Drowning Game

Say what you will about Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX); the man has a B.A. from Princeton and a J.D. from Harvard. It’s not like you can accuse him of being under-educated. At the same time, I can’t help but wonder how a man with an Ivy League pedigree such as his can be so phenomenally brain-dead. How can someone so ostensibly intelligent be so f*****g stupid?

If it’s possible to be over-educated and under-intelligent, then Ted Cruz is living, breathing proof of it.

Then again, the junior Senator from the Great State of Texas is proof of one theory- if it walks like an asshole, talks like an asshole, and looks like an asshole, the odds are very high that we’ve got an asshole on our hands, no? And who needs an asshole on their hands? That’s just plain disgusting. Eww….

Cruz, who’s been hated by most of his Senate colleagues virtually since he took his oath of office, is as disingenuous and oleaginous as they come. It’s easy to hate the man, even for me- and I’ve always tried to get to know someone before I hate them. For Sen. Cruz, however, I’ve happily skipped Step A and gone directly to Step B. It’s more efficient, especially since I knew I’d get there anyway.

Yeah, you could lay any amount of money on Sen. Cruz never winning Mr. Congeniality in the Senate, and be guaranteed to at least double your bet.

Cruz will jump on the slightest perceivest inconsistency and attempt to milk it for whatever partisan gain he believes might be obtained. He’s far less interested in legislating and constituent service than in political “gotcha” games, which usually means trying to get one over President Joe Biden.

Or he’s trying to defend the indefensible- like the 91 charges laid against The Former Guy thus far. If the same were true for a Democrat, Sen. Cruz would demand that the poor fool commit ritual suicide on Hannity.

Yes, Ted Cruz is all hat and no cattle- a show pony with no substance. He loves to look tough while touring the southern border in khaki fatigues, which make him look like a cheap Che Guevara knockoff. But, like a class bully, stand up to him, and he folds like a bad hand of Texas Hold ‘Em.

His latest self-own comes at the hold of ‘80s rock icon Pat Benatar and her husband, guitarist Neil Giraldo.

Rock singer Pat Benatar is responding to being referenced in a strange rant by Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), and she needed only two words to hit him with her best shot.

….Cruz was being interviewed by conservative talk-show host Joe “Pags” Pagliarulo as he tried to explain why President Joe Biden is so popular in the U.S. Senate.

However, Cruz’s reasoning was bizarre and included references to devil costumes, the full moon, child murder and, strangest of all, the 1980s-era Rock & Roll Hall of Famer:

“I don’t think Senate Democrats, if you had video of Joe Biden murdering children dressed as the devil under a full moon while singing Pat Benatar, they still wouldn’t vote to convict.”

Sen. Cruz appears to be referencing Benatar’s song, “Hell is for Children,” about child abuse. The irony and inappropriateness seem to have been lost on Cruz, for whom cluelessness is virtually a permanent state of being.

For someone with two Ivy League sheepskins, the man’s a Grade A, USDA Prime, 24-karat, top-shelf, balls-to-the-wall idjit. While the stupid and the world-class lack of self-awareness is a 24/7/365 phenomenon, it’s also highly entertaining.

For her part, Pat Benatar, who’s never been one to suffer fools, had the perfect response to being used by Sen. Cruz to make his ridiculously twisted argument:

Not that there isn’t a lot to ridicule Ted Cruz about under the best of circumstances, but it does say a lot that the best he could do when coming up with a “satanic” rocker was Pat Benatar.

Seriously? That’s all you got??

He’s clueless, out of touch, and it’s like listening to your Dad whining about your choice of music:

TURN THAT SHIT DOWN!!! AND GIT OFF MY LAWN!!!

Of course, no matter what you do, there will be those brave Right-wing Kool-Aid drinkers who believe that everyone on the Right is the Source of Light and Truth. Likewise, they’re convinced everyone on the Left is mired in the Sewer of Deep State Filth and Lies.

Sigh….

What do you do with people when the worms have eaten their brains?

Of course, these maroons also think Fox News Channel is “fair and balanced,” so whaddya going to do with that, eh?

What Sen. Cruz doesn’t understand…or perhaps he does, and this was just a poorly thought-out attack on someone whose music and lyrics he’s unable to comprehend…is that Pat Benatar is hardly a satanic icon. She was then and remains today about as wholesome, vanilla, and white bread as a rock musician gets. That’s not a knock on her, just a statement of the truth that she never set out to be a bad girl, much less a Satanist.

Pat Benatar charted her own path and didn’t let the nay-sayers and mansplainers take her down. That she’s still doing it today in her 70s is to her credit. If she told Sen. Cruz to suck his pencil dick, I’d give her a standing ovation.

And I don’t think I’d be alone.

I think the world sees him with white pancake makeup, clown shoes, and a big red nose.

Benatar’s press rep said that the singer, who has not been especially partisan or political in her public statements, would have no further comment on Cruz’s odd name-check.

Benatar and Giraldo have scheduled a traveling black mass — sorry, a concert tour — for this summer, starting July 22 in Northfield, Ohio. It includes seven dates at which the couple will be appearing with Pink in stadiums, including a Nov. 5 show at L.A.’s SoFi Stadium.

I’ll get on board with anything Ted Cruz opposes because the man’s a vile meat sack devoid of redeeming qualities. His first and only concern lies with advancing the political prospects of Ted Cruz. He may be the most self-absorbed, self-interested, and least self-aware Republican on Capitol Hill.

That’s no mean feat, given the abysmal state of today’s GOP Caucus.

Until he agrees to a dance-off with Pat Benatar, he has nothing on her, especially if he continues to believe she’s “Satanic.”

It’s astonishing how someone so ostensibly intelligent can be so f*****g stupid. But Sen. Ted Cruz proves it every day.