The Worst Rock & Roll Song Ever Made

And that's including everything ever released by Nickelback and Air Supply

Good morning, humble patriotic people of the Lord! Put down your morning Bible devotionals and pay attention, because it's time to listen to Kid Rock's new song…. The thing is, Kid Rock has created the worst song ever made, and we need you to laugh at it with us.

Don't believe us?

Well, did you think you could make an entire chorus that just says "We The People Let's Go Brandon" over and over again, like somebody who doesn't speak English but heard those words were good pleasure buttons for goosing the prostates of idiots who think the 2020 election was stolen? You didn't think that was even musically possible.

Imagine 500 Monkeys simultaneously scraping 500 pieces of chalk down 500 chalkboards, and you STILL won’t be close to approximating just how genuinely awful Kid Rock’s latest aural assault, “We The People,” is. Of course, if your wardrobe is heavy on MAGA hats, “F—K YOUR FEELINGS!” t-shirts, and “CAMP AUSCHWITZ” sweatshirts, “We The People” probably hits you right where you live.

That’s not a compliment, by the way.

You can file this under “4:07 of my life that I’ll never get back” because “We The People” is, without a doubt, the most abjectly awful rock song you will ever have the misfortune to listen to. It’s not just the melody, which a 7th-grader could have outdone, or the lyrics, which are as distressingly juvenile as they are insipid. No, it’s the whole package, which is as angrily impotent as it is just plain awful.

It’s the incel anthem, the theme song for angry White guys who’ve never been laid and have no hope of getting laid during the Biden Administration. No self-respecting woman would want to get near anyone who identifies with “We The People” as a meaningful expression of disaffection.

The chorus- the repetitive chants of “ We the People…let’s go, Brandon!” will leave you feeling as if the inside of your skull is being excavated with a plastic fork. The junior-high-school lyrical profanity will make you want to shove a hot poker into your eardrums. The overall effect is akin to being trapped with a platoon of drunk rednecks in the infield of a NASCAR race that never ends.

I’m guessing that “We The People” is intended to appeal to the patriotism of those whose IQ doesn’t rise above the low double-digits…and it does so masterfully.

This line makes sense: "You piece of shit, I don't see color, Black Lives Matter, no shit, motherfucker."

There's a bridge, too, that ends with the words "rock that bitch up and down the coast," which is a line from his one good or good-ish song. You will hear it if you make it far or if you're not laughing so hard you can't pay attention anymore….

Kid Rock didn't fool with coming up with a good ending for his song, and instead just dubbed in a bunch of mouthbreathers chanting "Let's Go Brandon" at one of their cousin weddings or something.

One may have thought at some point that Kid Rock possessed something resembling musical talent. It turns out, though, that faux-rapping through a faux-metal song whose lyrical content consists mainly of “f—k” connected with a few barely intelligible words screamed at the listener is not indicative of talent. Nor is it indicative of any songwriting skill.

If you manage to make it through the entire 4:07 (something I don’t recommend), you’ll probably end up as I did, wondering, “WTF was THAT??” You could listen to it a couple more times (something I would wholeheartedly caution against) and be no closer to understanding the message behind the song.

Of course, you could decide to treat “We The People” as an exercise in self-parody and play it for laughs. Still, judging by the anger and the profanity, I’m reasonably sure Kid Rock wasn’t interested in tickling the listener’s funny bone.

[I]t really scratches the itches of the snowflake grievances of the white male MAGA set: "Wear your mask. Take your pills. Now a whole generation's mentally ill."

Another?

"COVID's near, it's coming to town. We gotta act quick, shut our borders down."

Another? It would be unfair to write down another set of Kid Rock's lyrical lyrics. You have to let artists like Maestro Rock surprise you with their songs that begin with shitty drumbeats and some whinyass man bitching and moaning the words "WE THE PEOPLE, IN ALL WE DO, RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM FUCK YOU!" Very edgy!

And then he says, "Maaaaaan, fuck Fauci!" Get it? Because Dr. Fauci is not his real dad!

And then it's time for the chorus!

"Weeeeeeee the peopleeeeeeeee let's go Brandon! Weeeeeeee the peopleeeeeee let's go Brandon!"

It’s the sort of thing I’d expect a disaffected 15-year-old boy to write, not a grown-ass adult. But, then again, Kid Rock has never been one to stand for maturity and adult themes, not when he can whine about White males being oppressed and how terrible life is for people like him.

Of course, it’s possible that Kid Rock meant for “We The People” to express the frustration of the millions still convinced that Joe Biden is an illegitimate President. I can think of a thousand and one ways he could’ve expressed that sentiment with more clarity. Screaming, "WE THE PEOPLE, IN ALL WE DO, RESERVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM FUCK YOU!" doesn’t seem like an argument intended to change hearts and minds.

Then again, what do I know? Perhaps insisting on complete sentences, rational arguments, and lucid lyrics places me among the clueless elite against which Kid Rock is railing. Maybe it IS time for the people to kick ass and take names. Of course, America is still a democracy, and there’s still the reality that Joe Biden received seven million more votes than Donald Trump.

Sometimes, you have to do what the “F—K YOUR FEELINGS!!” crowd told Liberals like me in 2016: “GET OVER IT!”

Listen to “We The People,” and you’ll come to understand that the “F—K YOUR FEELINGS!!” crowd is having some serious problems channeling its feelings.

Consider yourself warned.

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