This just in- Aaron Rodgers is beginning to closely resemble a horse's ass
If you think I'm kidding, I think Jimmy Kimmel will back me up
“I didn't really expect you to have an appropriate response," Renaire says simply, taking a moment to tap ash off the tip of his cigarette. He'd hoped, yes, but never expected, not really. "I came to terms with the fact you're a possessive, self-important asshole with a superiority complex a long time ago."
"Somehow, that's reassuring," Delaurier says.”
Luchia Dertien, Gnomon
Often we have to remind our minds that the job of asshole is already taken.
Scott Stabile
I learned a long time ago that people tend to put WAY too much stock in athletes, who are fabulously talented at ONE inconsequential thing but often shitty people when it comes to other aspects of their life. Not that professional athletes can’t be quality people, of course. I’ve met a few and have come away impressed with the way they recognize their great good fortune. I’ve also met a few who, if given half a chance, I’d have happily backed over several times with an F-150.
I’ve never met Aaron Rodgers, though I have a feeling from what I’ve learned about him that I’d probably be getting into an F-150 and putting it into reverse. I can handle that Rodgers is a bit “out there” and is into things like ayahuasca. As an NFL quarterback who’s coming up on 40, he’s probably looking for any edge that will help get his body right from the pounding he takes weekly.
He’s also a very Conservative anti-vaxxer, which he’s decidedly arrogant and judgmental about. He doesn’t tolerate the views of others well if they differ from his, and he’s not above ridiculing those, like Travis Kelce, who’s made ads for Pfizer.
Rodgers can be, when he puts his mind to it, a smug, arrogant asshole.
The problem now is that Rodgers has now become adept at keeping himself in the public conversation, usually by being a jerk, which appears to bother him not in the slightest. In fact, it appears to be a calculated business move.
We’ve spent a lot of time over the last few weeks questioning the intelligence of New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers without first questioning our own.
I prepared the writing of this column before receiving a synopsis of what the Jets quarterback said on The Pat McAfee Show on Tuesday, not because I have any particular objection to the show, but because I feel like I’ve seen the episode before. No offense to McAfee, or his talents as a carnival barker and producer of engaging television, but I grew up watching professional wrestling and now work in a medium where, once a week, I rank the nebulous concept of “power” in the NFL and can see the difference in reaction and engagement when one popular fan base is either snubbed or praised. I lived as a sentient human being from 2016 to ’20; I’ve watched cable news before major coastal hurricanes; and, as a dad prone to embarrassing his kids, I understand the very basic concepts of how to get a rise out of someone.
Rodgers is indeed free to say whatever he wants about whatever he wants, and I’m happy we live in a country where this is true. I, too, am afforded that right and I don’t think it’s nearly controversial to suggest that most of the drama surrounding Rodgers’s appearances and the show in general are sloppily manufactured. Just look at the last week or so. This, to me, is where Rodgers shows the one place he does have some kind of cognitive superiority over the rest of us. He traps us in a cycle that leads to the inevitable conclusion that we will watch what he has to say next. Some of us are unwittingly stuck in the Rodgers algorithm.
Ah, you might find yourself, asking…what IS the “Rodgers algorithm?” Well, it’s pretty straightforward:
Rodgers says something provocative or controversial on The Pat McAfee Show, a popular sports talk show hosted by former NFL punter Pat McAfee.
The media and the fans react to Rodgers’s comments, either by criticizing him, defending him, or mocking him.
Rodgers responds to the reactions by either doubling down, backtracking, or playing the victim.
Rodgers teases his next appearance on The Pat McAfee Show, promising more revelations or explanations.
Rodgers has, of course, made well over a million dollars from being a guest on the Pat McAfee Show, which I don’t watch or listen to because I hate sports talk (it’s mental masturbation for frustrated ex-jocks).
Under most circumstances, I’d care less if McAfee and Rodgers were having a torrid homosexual on-air affair. You go, gurl- get it while you still got it, knowhutimean??…. At Rodgers wouldn’t be deliberately pissing people off and drawing attention to himself.
But, when you drag innocent people into an emotionally charged legal situation that could damage and potentially ruin reputations, that’s another matter altogether. F’rinstance, you don’t bring innocent people (Jimmy Kimmel) into situations that might end up with them being accused of being a pedophile. You especially don’t do it when you have no evidence whatsoever implicating them in that sort of reprehensible, immoral, and illegal behavior.
That takes matters from Aaron Rodgers merely being a self-serving asshole, which is his right, to potentially libeling innocent people.
Gentlemen, start your lawyers….
In this case, Rodgers decided, apparently out of the blue, to drag Jimmy Kimmel into the Jeffrey Epstein papers controversy:
There’s a side story to the whole saga of the Epstein papers and the daily drama over who might show up in them, and why it definitely won’t matter to the MAGA idiots — who are always telling us how upset pedophilia makes them! — if it turns out Donald Trump was literally Epstein’s main wingman. This one involves Jimmy Kimmel and the fact that he’s not in those papers, there’s no evidence he should be in those papers, and literally nobody without brain damage thinks he will show up.
Noted braindead lunatic anti-vaxxer mediocre white boy Aaron Rodgers, former QB for the Green Bay Packers and currently of the New York Jets, has been babbling like a late-stage syphilis patient on every neanderthal podcast that’ll take him that Kimmel is gonna be REAL SORRY Y’ALL when all the Epstein truth comes out.
In particular, he’s been doing it on the “Pat McAfee Show,” which is ESPN’s responsibility. “There’s a lot of people, including Jimmy Kimmel, who are really hoping that doesn’t come out,” said Rodgers recently, about the Epstein associates list.
Kimmel, unsurprisingly, was not happy that Rodgers had, for no discernible reason, dragged him into the Epstein controversy:
This is what Rodgers has been doing this season. Since he tore his Achilles in the first minutes of the 2023 season, he’s been out of the spotlight, and so he’s been seeking ways to keep himself relevant. Thus, the “Rodgers algorithm.”
Whether you think it’s an actual thing or not hardly matters. The result’s the same, and steps 1-4 are as sadly predictable as the New York Jets’ horrible season. And while Rodgers has never been one to sit quietly in the background, his attempt to drag Jimmy Kimmel into the Epstein mess is truly reprehensible.
Unfortunately, because Rodgers is a cementhead and isn’t smart enough to know when to STFU, Kimmel found himself having to explain to his audience how he found himself in this mess:
He’s kind of pissed, in that way people get pissed when actual morons who nonetheless have big platforms are constantly accusing them of being or insinuating that they’re child molesters. We imagine that gets stressful for a person, or as Kimmel mentions here, for their wife and for their children and for their mailman, who have to hear from pigfucking mouthbreather QAnon people who are mad at Jimmy Kimmel because of what the walking NFL head injury has been saying.
Bet Rodgers ain’t gonna like any of that one bit.
Especially considering how it appears he probably doesn’t actually think Kimmel is a child molester, but is just extremely thin-skinned about Kimmel insinuating that he’s fucking stupid. Indeed, McAfee explained a week ago that “a clip from this particular program was run on Jimmy Kimmel’s show, whenever Aaron brought up the list, and Jimmy mocked him for it. Aaron has not forgotten about that.”
And last night, Kimmel acknowledged as much, saying Rodgers probably “just said it because he’s mad at me for making fun of his topknot and his lies about being vaccinated.”
Kimmel is KIND OF pissed? If I were him, I’d be exploring legal means to extract my pound of flesh from Rodgers’ ass. Jimmy Kimmel has a wife and kids; his family don’t deserve to be dragged through the mud (or put in danger) because Aaron Rodger is an attention-seeking imbecile.
And Rodgers isn’t know for being a person of class or integrity. When asked during the 2021 season whether he’d been vaccinated, Rodgers said he’d been “inoculated.” When asked to elaborate, Rodgers refused, only to be exposed later for lying through his teeth. And, because he’s a prominent quarterback in the NFL and an outspoken anti-vaxxer, the league office decided not to press the issue.
If it had been a practice squad long snapper, the poor fool would’ve been given his walking papers before he knew what hit him…and deservedly so. Rodgers, however, is a future Hall of Famer willing to make a lot of noise to protect himself if need be, and so the league office treads lightly around him.
Not that the NFL believes in double standards.
Aaron Rodgers knows precisely how far he can push things. It turns out that referring to him as “Karen Rodgers” isn’t at all inaccurate. He’s like a male version of Rep. Marjorie Trailer Greene (R-GA).
And that isn’t meant as a compliment.
Rodgers says he isn’t going to apologize, and embarked on an extended whine about Kimmel and others making fun of him and calling him a dumbfuck for being a COVID-19 vaccine denier. Kimmel specifically made fun of him for saying he was “immunized” against it in 2021 when he hadn’t actually been vaccinated. Rodgers had been consulting with known physician Joe Rogan, who had told him to take horse paste instead. Jimmy Kimmel also made fun of him last year for saying (on the same fucking “Pat McAfee” show) that all this talk about UFOs might be a distraction from Jeffrey Epstein’s list.
“I was vilified. My character was attacked. My reputation was attacked. My sponsors were attacked. I received death threats. So, yeah, why does it mean a lot to me? Because I went through that and survived the winter of death.”
The winter of death. Hmm…drama much? What the hell does that even mean?
THE WINTER OF DEATH. Rodgers makes several millions of dollars per years. He could, if he desired, spend his offseasons in Aspen skiing through the winter of death.
Anyway, he says please do not call Jimmy Kimmel a pedophile, and certainly don’t do it in his name, and he has “no love for anybody doin’ that shit.”
By this point, it seems as if McAfee (who doesn’t appear to be the sharpest tool in the box…but I could be wrong) just wants the entire bullshit controversy to go away. That may be because he’s making beaucoup bucks from ESPN, and the last thing he wants is to piss off those writing the checks.
Ironically enough, Jim Hoft, the dumbest person on the Internet, helpfully notes that both ESPN (McAfee’s show) and ABC (Kimmel’s show) are owned by Disney. Hey, a little internecine squabbling never hurt anyone, right? You know how families can be.
A good indication that Rodgers’ schtick has grown tiresome is that even Pat McAfee, who’s ridden Rodgers (figuratively speaking) to fame and fortune is calling a halt to Dr. Winter of Death’s weekly appearances.
Brief postscript to the saga of Aaron Rodgers and Jimmy Kimmel! (Which we hope to never speak of again, unless Jimmy sues the bejesus out of Football McBrainWorms for his comments and insinuations about Jimmy and the Epstein client list, in which case we guess we’ll talk about it again.)
Tuesday, Pat McAfee, the ESPN host whose show Rodgers clearly views as a safe space for all his hottest takes on life, love and vaccines, seemed really keen to make all this controversy go away, and really seemed to want Rodgers to just please apologize to Jimmy Kimmel and shut up. It felt like maybe lawyers for Disney — which owns both ESPN (McAfee) and ABC (Kimmel) — might have been emailing back and forth like HEY TELL THE FOOTBALL PLAYER WITH THE BROKEN BRAIN TO GO PLAY IN A CLOTHES DRYER AND ZIP IT.
So it was interesting yesterday afternoon when McAfee announced that, at least for now, Concussion The Clown’s appearances on his podcast show were done.
Perhaps Disney’s lawyer’s were beginning to realize just how much money they might be on the hook for if Jimmy Kimmel decided to sue both Aaron Rodgers and ESPN (for providing him with the platform for his assholery).
More than anything, it’s likely that everyone (except Rodgers, of course) wanted all of this to quietly disappear.
[T]he move may not be permanent since McAfee said during Wednesday’s show that “‘Aaron Rodgers Tuesday’ Season 4 is done,” seemingly implying that the NFL quarterback and COVID conspiracy theorist could return next season….
“There will be a lot of people who are happy with that, myself included. The way it ended, it got real loud,” McAfee added….
Well, yeah, you did give him a platform to be a self-serving asshole, after all.
“Aaron Rodgers is a Hall of Famer, he is a four-time MVP, he is a massive part of the NFL story whenever you go back and tell it,” McAfee said….
And he’s got the massive ego to prove that he’s well aware of it and isn’t afraid to remind anyone unfortunate enough to be listening.
“We are very lucky to get a chance to chat with him and learn from him. Some of his thoughts and opinions, though, do piss off a lot of people.”
Learn from him? He spouts anti-vaccine propaganda and ridicules those who dare to disagree with him. I’m not sure how much there is to learn…because, yes, he DOES piss off a lot of people.
But isn’t that kind of the point of why he was on the Pat McAfee Show to begin with? Controversy generates attention, after all, and both McAfee and Rodgers are well aware of that, which is why Rodgers has made so much money from his appearances.
This isn’t rocket science, y’all.
‘Course, if you have too much time on your hands and want to play amateur psychologist, you can watch the video of McAfee’s announcement. Me? I’d rather watch slugs mate. The personal views of Pat McAfee and Aaron Rodgers don’t hold much interest for me, other than their comic relief potential, which right now hovers right around zero.
I admire Rodgers’ skill as a quarterback, and since I was a punter in high school, I suppose I could make a claim to admiring McAfee’s punting skills…nah, I’d be lying through my teeth. Except for the one offside kick he pulled off, I don’t know that I ever even saw him punt in a game. People don’t remember punters…unless they do something outrageously stupid.
Point is, he doesn’t want to be in the middle of this political shit anymore. Rodgers isn’t banned forever, and it sounds like McAfee doesn’t want to have to apologize for him personally, but …
Yeah.
Sorry about your safe space, Mr. Rodgers! Your very important intellectual contributions won’t be necessary for a while.
So, perhaps it’s time for Rodgers to spend another month or so in a cave in southern Oregon. The world could use the time to work on forgetting who he is. We’d all be better off for it.
I think what this all comes down to is that Aaron Rodgers is profoundly uncomfortable not being the center of conversation. Because he’s been out for the entire NFL season because of his Achilles injury, the football world has been talking about other things…because the Jets SUCK.
Perhaps next time he’ll think twice before obliquely accusing an innocent man of being a pedophile. Then again, he’s Aaron Rodgers. Why would he need to think??
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How good or smart can you be if you were playing for the Jets?