This just in- ASS clubs sweep the country; Christians rise up in alarm

But most White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexuals have no idea what it is they're terrified of

According to the Kansas City Star, a teenager at Olathe Northwest High School in Kansas has filed paperwork to begin the “High School Satan Club.” (The student told me he wanted to call it After School Satan Club, like the others, but administrators expressed legitimate concerns about anything that could be abbreviated ASS Club.)

• The Friendly Atheist

Christians LOVE free speech- THEIR free speech, of course. They expect- nay, demand- that their religion be available everywhere and anywhere they want it to be, and they pitch a fit when they can’t proselytize. Even worse, when other religions are given equal status, it’s battle stations and all hands on deck…’cuz Satan’s working his evil again, don’tchaknow?

But while the 1st Amendment allows for freedom of religion, it doesn’t say WHICH religion. Even though America is a nation where roughly 75% self-identify as “Christian,” that in no way means America is a “Christian” nation. It’s a nation where you’re free to be a Christian if that’s your choice…or anything else if you so choose.

America isn’t the sole province and property of White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexuals, despite what they may tell you. America belongs to no one group, and though Christians may represent the overwhelming majority in this country, there’s one thing we should all keep in mind:

Religion doesn’t define America. Nor does it define American governance, which is secular per the Constitution and tradition. The separation of Church and State is still a thing, despite concerted efforts by American Taliban stalwarts like Speaker of the House Mike Johnson and others to the contrary.

Part of the problem with mixing Church and State is the question of whose flavor of God gets to be our government. Will it be a benevolent, forgiving God…or a mean-spirited, spiteful son-of-a-bitch who’d sooner smite than embrace us?

The other part of the problem has been amply illustrated by novels like Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, which has been brought to life on Hulu. It’s a story of how the admixture of religion and political power inevitably leads to intensely malevolent political corruption. Power becomes the be-all and end-all; religion is the hammer wielded to obtain that power.

In the end, religion loses all of its original meaning and becomes merely a bludgeon. Religious traditions and ceremonies ensure obedience and loyalty.

That has always been why Church and State have been carefully separated throughout our history. That separation has been threatened occasionally, but our system has always been robust enough to maintain its integrity. The fact that said integrity has been maintained means that America works. It’s not a perfect system; sometimes, it’s not even a good one, but as Churchill once said, it’s better than every other one out there.

One of the primary battlegrounds has been our public schools, where Christians have long believed they should have the exclusive right to establish religious groups and proselytize. Depending on the state (usually red states), Christian groups have made some inroads in establishing groups in publicly funded schools. Still, it’s always been with the understanding that such rights are available to all religions (nudge-nudge, wink-wink….).

Few religious groups outside Christianity have put up much of a fuss, primarily because of their small numbers, but After School Satan Clubs are beginning to pop up slowly around the country. It doesn’t take much of an imagination to guess how Christians are reacting.

There are After School Satan Clubs in only four states, with a fifth soon to begin at an elementary school in Tennessee. In all of those cases, interested adults take the helm and parents opt-in on behalf of their children. That’s how it typically works with clubs at public elementary schools.

High schools, however, are a different beast. Students can begin their own clubs and students make their own decisions about joining. It’s almost surprising to realize that, for all the talk about The Satanic Temple, no students have tried to launch a Satanic club at a public high school.

Until now.

According to the Kansas City Star, a teenager at Olathe Northwest High School in Kansas has filed paperwork to begin the “High School Satan Club.” (The student told me he wanted to call it After School Satan Club, like the others, but administrators expressed legitimate concerns about anything that could be abbreviated ASS Club.)

Yeah, how could that POSSIBLY be misinterpreted, eh??

Just like at the elementary schools, this club wouldn’t actually promote Satan, Satanic beliefs, or Satanism. There’s no indoctrination involved. It would be more of a discussion group with the potential for community service projects and other activities designed to promote the (secular, humanistic) tenets of The Satanic Temple.

But people are not handling the news well.

Unlike what many might think, there will be no virgin sacrifices or sacrifices of goats. No one will cut the still-beating heart out of the school’s football coach and eat it. No one will be casting spells or praying to Satan to visit misfortune upon those who’ve wronged them.

Those opposed to the After School Satan club at Olathe Northwest High School appear to be profoundly under- or utterly uneducated about what Satanism involves and/or what the club will actually be doing.

Before the Olathe club has even gained approval, it’s already causing an uproar, with many students and parents protesting it. As of Friday, more than 6,000 people had signed a Change.org petition titled, “Stop The Satan Worship Club At Olathe Northwest.” “This deeply troubles me and many others in our community as we believe that schools should be places of education and growth, not platforms for satanic indoctrination or controversial practices,” the petition reads.

“Satanic indoctrination or controversial practices?” Do the people behind the petition have any idea whatsoever what all that means? (Short answer: NO)

Did they bother to investigate? Or did they merely hear “Satanism” and react viscerally and emotionally? (Short answer: DUH)

The Change.org petition was allegedly launched by a “concerned student” named Drew McDonald…but no one by that name attends Olathe Northwest High School. This means the person behind the petitions lacks the courage to put their name on it.

That’s some world-class cowardice, no?

The student in question said he hoped to begin this group in response to the Christian club that already exists at his school (AWAKE Student Ministry) and the fact that Kansas is a fairly religious state where non-Christians can often feel like outcasts.

The petition, however, makes it sound like the group would promote evil.

Satanism has a strong history of persecution and violence towards the church and those who believe in God. Whether you believe in God, are a Christian, Catholic, Mormon, Hindu, Buddhist or even atheist you should see that ending this club is not just because it opposes Christianity but because what they stand for and the actions they will make are wrong and immoral. This isn’t an argument over religion and Christianity but of right and wrong.

Whoever wrote that screed has no idea what they’re talking about. It’s the Christian Church that has a strong history of persecution and violence towards those it considers heretics and those who dare to believe differently. Satanism doesn’t oppose Christianity or any other religion; in fact, it’s very accepting of other faith traditions and in no way stands for actions that are “wrong and immoral.” If any faith does that these days, it’s Christianity.

If Christians want to continue to have the AWAKE Student Ministry at Olathe Northwest High School, they must also be open to the After School Satan club. It’s everyone or no one; Christians don’t get special treatment because they’re the majority religion.

Even if that petition is successful, though, it’s irrelevant. As The Satanic Temple’s June Everett told the Star, “They could get two million signatures, but that doesn’t trump constitutional First Amendment law.”

She’s right. If public school districts allow extra-curricular groups to meet in their buildings, they can’t ban a particular one on the basis of religion. Ironically, it’s Christians who demanded that policy when they won a case before the Supreme Court in 2001. The district seems to know that, too, with a spokesperson saying the Equal Access Act requires them to allow student-initiated clubs that go through the application process and meet all the guidelines. And this group has met every guideline. It has interested students. It has a faculty sponsor. It’s not violating any school rules.

The bottom line is that this Satan Club may sound spooky to some, but it’s perfectly in line with the district’s rules. If the district rejects it, a lawsuit would be sure to follow, and Satanists have an excellent track record in the courts.

Even though, as we’ve seen in Iowa, some will go to extremes to destroy things they believe (incorrectly) to be evil, there’s nothing wrong, illegal, evil, and/or immoral about an After School Satan club. If the AWAKE Student Ministry is allowed to exist at Olathe Northwest High School, then other religiously affiliated groups must be allowed the same privileges.

Bigots taking action because their ignorance convinces them that Satanism is evil will have to pay the legal price for their epic stupidity.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d be far less frightened of an ASS club than I would be of an AWAKE Student Ministry. Christian hypocrites terrify me because they’re capable of the worst sort of hypocrisy.

Besides, there’s something oddly satisfying about saying “ASS Club,” don’tchathink??

(All of my posts are now public. Any reader financial support will be considered pledges- support that’s greatly appreciated but not required to get to all of my work. I’ll trust my readers to determine if my work is worthy of their financial support and at what level. To those who do offer their support, thank you. It means more than you know.)