This Just In: F**k Morton's Steakhouse And F**k Brett Kavanaugh
Memo to Morton's- You still own me $400
I’m going to start by asking for my gentle reader’s forgiveness for the crudeness of the title. Trust me, though, it’s not going to get any better from here, so if you find profanity offensive, you might want to find some pearls to clutch, knowhutimean?
This story involves a rant about two things for which I maintain an enduring disdain- Supreme Court Justice Brett (I LIKE BEER!!) Kavanaugh and Morton’s Steakhouse. My aversion toward Justice Kavanaugh shouldn’t require an explanation. I think we all saw enough of his confirmation hearing to understand my loathing of him.
Morton’s Steakhouse, though, requires a bit of explanation. They have a location in downtown Portland, right across Clay Street from the Keller Auditorium’s stage door, where I occasionally work. One Sunday morning, I volunteered to work a shift, so I parked in front of Morton’s, which I’ve done on numerous occasions.
This time, though, I missed a sign, partially obscured by a tree, that said “NO PARKING AFTER 5 PM.” I finished my shift at 6 pm, crossed Clay Street, and discovered that my car was gone. Morton’s had called the City of Portland’s tow line, and it had been hauled away a few minutes before I’d finished my shift at the Keller.
As might be imagined, I was FURIOUS. I tried to maintain my composure, but I fear I may not have succeeded as I’d hoped. Eventually, I took an Uber home. The next day I located my car at a tow yard; once I paid the tow bill and the parking ticket, I was out close to $400.
As part of my job at the Keller, musicians and performers occasionally ask me for restaurant recommendations. So guess where I WON’T be sending them??
Go ahead; I’ll wait…. :-)
So, that’s why I enter into this story about Morton’s and Justice Kavanaugh making no pretense about objectivity. I hope they all broil slowly in Hell (yeah, the one I don’t believe in).
On Wednesday night, D.C. protesters targeting the conservative Supreme Court justices who signed onto the Dobbs decision overturning the constitutional right to abortion got a tip that Justice BRETT KAVANAUGH was dining at Morton’s downtown D.C. location. Protesters soon showed up out front, called the manager to tell him to kick Kavanaugh out and later tweeted that the justice was forced to exit through the rear of the restaurant….a person familiar with the situation said he did not hear or see the protesters and ate a full meal but left before dessert[.]
Morton’s management, of course, was none too pleased about the incident and issued a statement essentially saying, “politics stops at our front door.”
Ah, if only it were that easy.
“Honorable Supreme Court Justice Kavanaugh and all of our other patrons at the restaurant were unduly harassed by unruly protestors while eating dinner at our Morton’s restaurant. Politics, regardless of your side or views, should not trample the freedom at play of the right to congregate and eat dinner.”
If Justice Kavanaugh or any of the other radical Conservative Justices on the Supreme Court fear not being able to eat in peace at restaurants, perhaps they should reconsider stripping rights from the distaff half of the population.
You don’t get to turn back the clock 50 years and allow states to once again turn women's reproductive functions into government property without expecting some significant blowback. Americans- especially of the female variety- take that sort of thing seriously. If Kavanaugh or the other Conservative justices don’t like being called out that, perhaps they need to consider that most Americans don’t want their morality or bodily functions dictated to them.
Women should be able to exercise bodily autonomy without interference from Church or State. It’s a basic human right, don’tchaknow?
Look, if public spaces are out, and public sidewalks in front of the justices’ homes are out, and the vast plaza in front of the Supreme Court building is out, where are the people supposed to go to express their displeasure with the decisions of the decision-makers? Brett Kavanaugh is not up for re-election ever and the decision-makers for obvious reasons don't seem interested in changing that dumb system anytime soon.
Given all that, the people are going to look for new avenues to express their displeasure to the nation’s leaders. Even if it means that a Supreme Court justice has to scurry out of a restaurant before he can order Morton’s famed Hot Chocolate Cake.
Kavanaugh and the rest of the Conservative justices must be made to understand that their decisions have real-world consequences. They can and do impact the lives of Americans, sometimes in very negative ways. The justices should not be above being reminded of those consequences. They shouldn’t be allowed to live in a vacuum. They need to understand that the decisions they make can and often do force change upon Americans.
We’re not talking about broad, abstract academic arguments. This is real life.
Suppose people choose to protest peacefully outside the homes of Conservative justices or even harass them at restaurants. In that case, it may be unfortunate or inconvenient for the justices, but it’s the right of those who choose to protest.
The Supreme Court isn’t an ivory tower. Justices shouldn’t be immune from the impacts of their decisions. Perhaps once they begin to understand the power they have and the consequences of that power, it might help to produce some compassion among them.
Nah…the 6-3 Conservative majority was a product of a long, patient Conservative political project whose goal was to take over the Supreme Court so they could start by overturning Roe v. Wade.; that was ALWAYS Job One. This corrupt and venal Supreme Court is only getting started, which means their next term will undoubtedly be about rolling back more rights.
It’s time for President Biden to get serious about expanding the Court and watering down the Conservative Court’s activism.
(Remember when Conservative Congresspeople decried “judicial activism” when “Liberal” judges were the ones responsible for the “activism.” They have no problem with “judicial activism” when their side is doing it.
Go figure.
Ah, but I digress….)
I hope that none of the Conservative justices ever enjoy a peaceful meal in a restaurant again. They’ve taken it upon themselves to remake America; I think it’s only fair that Americans who don’t want their country transformed should be able to make their feelings known. If that means making a few justices uncomfortable, whether in their homes or restaurants, then so be it. Freedom of speech is a powerful thing, no?
As for Morton’s, I hope all of their locations burn to the ground. Those elitist bastards can choke on their Porterhouses for all I care.
As a very wise friend of mine once said, “F**k ‘em all; let God sort ‘em out.” Even to an atheist like me, that sounds like a pretty good option.
