This Just In: NC House Speaker Sued For Having A Zipper Problem
As in, he has a problem keeping his zipper secured around other men's wives
In most states, the biggest risk for hanky-panky with someone’s spouse is a sock on the jaw and society’s disapproving eye. But North Carolina, along with five other states nationwide, still has laws on the books allowing a jilted partner to sue. The allegation of “alienation of affection” now faces NC House Speaker Tim Moore in a recent lawsuit. Moore has denied the accusation. Though such cases are rare and often called archaic, the state still passes high-dollar judgments against those who lure husbands and wives into extramarital affairs.
In most states, having an extramarital affair may cause significant strife, embarrassment, and heartache, but it’s not a legal matter. People schtup other people’s spouses all the time and for all sorts of reasons. That’s not to excuse it or pass it off as no big deal, but some guys have defective zippers and dysfunctional morals, and some girls just wanna have fun (or vice-versa). Of course, when things break down and/or people get caught, the fallout can be significantly less fun, but rarely is it a matter for the courts…unless divorce attorneys get involved.
North Carolina, however, is one of the few states that allowed deserted spouses to sue for “alienation of affection.” So, when someone’s dipping their pen in an inkwell not their own, there may be legal recourse.
In this case, it’s NC House Speaker Tim Moore, a Right-wing, moralizing, Grade-A sleazeball if ever there was one.
Moore is a prominent figure in the Republican Party's anti-democratic, near fascist agenda. This includes a 12-week abortion ban and actively racist gerrymandering. But that's just his professional life. Personally, Moore is also apparently a scumbag. His private life is — allegedly — as gross as his public persona.
Sunday, Scott Riley Lassiter, an assistant principal at Connections Academy Middle School in Raleigh, filed a lawsuit against Moore, claiming alienation of affections and civil conspiracy. Or in plain English, Moore has accused Moore of having an affair with his wife Jamie Liles Lassiter. This would normally fall under the principle of "my name is Paul and this is between y'all," but Lassiter's lawsuit alleges that Moore “used his position as Speaker of the North Carolina House of Representatives to initiate contact and develop a personal relationship with Mrs. Lassiter, despite knowing that she was married to Plaintiff.”
Jamie Liles Lassiter, currently the executive director of the North Carolina Conference of Clerks of Superior Court, had reportedly known Moore for years. Scott Riley Lassiter reportedly heard rumors that she was fooling around with Moore, which was probably demoralizing considering that Moore looks like a cover model for Creepazoid Weekly.
Even worse, Moore IS a creepazoid who was more than willing to use his job to coerce Ms. Lassiter into a sexual relationship. He used his position of power to manipulate her into having an affair with him. Whether that affair was consensual or the degree to which it may have been consensual remains to be seen.
But, yeah, the guy’s a manipulative asshole who at least implied that Ms. Lassiter’s job hinged on doing the nasty with him.
Worse, he was willing to admit it to her husband so he could buy his silence.
The day after Christmas, Lassiter met with Moore at a Biscuitville in Raleigh. Lassiter probably should've demanded a steak restaurant at least as good as where Moore took his wife. However, the biscuit sandwich breakfast was relatively civil, and Moore admitted to screwing around with Jamie Liles Lassiter for several years. Lassiter alleges in the lawsuit that Moore asked him “if there was anything he could do for Plaintiff, implying that he could use the power he held as Speaker in some way to benefit Plaintiff."
OK, Moore definitely should've taken Lassiter to a steak restaurant if he planned to bribe the guy.
Moore tried to buy off Scott Lassiter at a Biscuitville? Granted, I’ve never been there because there are no locations here in Oregon. Still, I’m pretty sure it’s not the sort of steakhouse Moore took Lassiter’s wife before doing the horizontal bop with her and maybe half the Republicans in the North Carolina House.
Yeah, the guy’s morals are lower than a snake’s belly, but he was getting laid regularly, so what did he care? When you’re thinking with the wrong head, it’s all fun and games until hubby finds out, no?
I’m not sure I’d forgive someone who thought he could buy my silence by taking me to breakfast at Biscuitville.
WTF??
As might be imagined, the Lassiters’ marriage wasn’t built for the long haul, and they were soon speeding down the express lane to divorce court.
Now Jamie Lassiter is denying her soon-to-be ex-husband’s allegations, and things are beginning to get ugly, with the promise of an absolute shitshow to come.
Grab yer popcorn, Ethel. This should be good.
In a statement to WRAL, [Stacy] Liles Lassiter cast the lawsuit as punitive and suggested that Moore is not to blame for their estrangement.
“Scott Lassiter has serious mental health and substance abuse issues, which I can only assume led him to file this outrageous and defamatory suit," her statement says.
"The claims are not only false but impossible as we’ve been separated with a signed separation document for years," she continued. "To be clear, I’m a strong professional woman, and the only person who has ever abused me or threatened my career was my soon to be ex-husband. Our marriage was a nightmare, and since I left him it has gotten worse. We are reaching the end of our divorce process and this is how he’s lashing out."
Of course, Scott Lassiter claims he has “irrefutable evidence” of the affair, so if this heads to open court, Moore’s political career may be over. And the reputation of both Lassiters may also take a significant beating.
There’s even more to this case, but the question now is how far this will go. In North Carolina, most cases involving extramarital affairs are settled out of court to save everyone involved the embarrassment of having salacious details shared in open court. It’s unusual for matters like this to go as far as this already has, so how much each party might be willing to risk remains a fascinating question.
Whatever the ultimate resolution of this sorry saga is, one thing seems pretty well-established: Tim Moore is an amoral slimeball willing to use his position to satisfy his carnal urges. He manipulates people for his sexual satisfaction. That’s about as pathetic as it gets for an elected representative of the people of North Carolina. Then again, he’s not the first person in a position of power to demand to get his helmet polished.
It might be time for the state’s Attorney General to investigate Moore to determine if he’s been misusing his office for his personal benefit. If he’s looking for a girlfriend, he may find one in North Carolina’s prison system.
Stay tuned, y’all. This is WAY more interesting than politics EVER gets here in the Beaver State…the place where “beaver” never means anything but the animal with buck teeth.
