This Just In: We're F*****g Doomed

Welcome to an America ruled by the Lowest Common "Duhnominator"

Unabashed Christian nationalist and self-proclaimed “futurist” Lance Wallnau held a livestream on his Facebook page Tuesday night in which he prayed that God will bring “such a cleansing of a House in November” that Congress will be filled with Christian nationalists and “great leaders” like Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz, and Madison Cawthorn.

Wallnau, a Trump-loving Seven Mountains Dominionist who had regular access to the White House during the Trump administration, prayed that “the Christian populace would begin to rise up to restore the nation” by unleashing “a backlash against the elite” in the midterm elections.

If you dream of an America ruled by the descendants of Beavis and Butthead…well, it’s time to get in line behind uber-Christian Lance Wallnau, who wants an obedient, reactionary America instead of one that thinks. Because an America that thinks about its place in the world is, to Wallnau’s way of thinking, weak, pusillanimous, and not formidable. The REAL America- CHRISTIAN America- would rise up against the godless Liberal elites and kick ass and take names for Jesus Christ.

Unfortunately for America, those who Wallnau believes should be leading America are also dumber than your average post turtle. We’re talking about Republicans like Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, and Madison Cawthorn- to name but a few. None of these folks have a functional grip on reality, much less an IQ that would allow them to process and adequately address important issues facing America today. They think they know, but in their simplistic, Donald-Trump-makes-everything-better world, the world is a simple and easily solved place.

In fact, the world is anything but simple OR easily solved and the people that Wallnau believes would “restore the nation” would once against restore America’s place as a laughing stock within the international community.

“Let a movement arise that restrains these elites, Lord,” Wallnau said. “Lord, I pray that you would do it in the United States, that we would have such a such a cleansing of a House in November. Oh God, give us leaders like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz, give us great leaders like [Madison] Cawthorn. Give us great leaders that will rise up and be mouthpieces, bold, on fire, clear, articulate, and on fire with their subject. Let freedom ring, Lord.”

Right. He’s talking about Marjorie “Jewish Space Lasers” Taylor Greene, Lauren “I Barely Have My GED” Boebert, Matt “I’m About To Go To Prison For Being A Pedophile” Gaetz, and Madison “I’ve Never Met A Lie I Couldn’t Tell” Cawthorn. Not exactly role models for integrity or intellectual gravitas, knowhutimean??

So, either Lance Wallnau has some abysmally low standards, or he’d support anyone with an “R” behind their name who pretends to be a Christian. I’m leaning towards both, seeing as how the GOP has become the party of lies, propaganda, and Christian tyranny.

“I pray for a moment when you will raise up, Lord,” Wallnau prayed. “Your wisdom is greater than ours, but I believe you’ve given us this understanding that there’s a moment to put a backlash against the elites and to cause your church to rise up. We’re not leading right now, Lord. We’re not a big voice right now. Nobody’s quoting us except for an apology.”

“Lord, I pray that you will raise up spirit-inspired leaders of the populist movement,” he continued. “That even in America, the Christian populists would begin to rise up to restore the nation; Christian nationalists that love America and that are sane and rational and want to see America not destroyed by the globalists.”

Even if I had been leaning towards being persuaded by Wallnau, his use of “Christian nationalists” and “sane and rational” in the same sentence torpedoed any hope that his argument might have any shred of credibility.

Christian nationalists like Wallnau have as much interests in the teachings of Jesus Christ as I do in moving back to Texas. Their primary interest lies in securing and maintaining political power and in using that power to force their agenda on all Americans, regardless of their faith or lack of same.

One of the biggest problems with the idea of Christian nationalists assuming power is that their agenda and their dogma don’t mesh. You can’t worship Jesus Christ and at the same time also idolize political power. America is NOT a Christian nation, despite what the American Taliban would have us believe. America is a nation whose government is secular but whose population is majority Christian. The Founding Fathers intended for America to be governed in a manner that allowed all faith traditions to have an equal place at the table. People like Lance Wallnau believe that their flavor of God is the One and ONLY true faith, and therefore they have the right to rule.

Then again, what else could you expect from someone who continues to believe that Joe Biden is an illegitimate President (despite winning by seven million votes) because “God’s anointing” remains with Donald Trump? It’s sad that Christian nationalism too often tends to be intensely reality-impaired.

Unfortunately, the people Lance Wallnau holds up as “spirit-inspired leaders of the populist movement” aren’t qualified to lead a pack of hungry Cub Scouts to a Dairy Queen. They lack the integrity and the intellectual candle power to be the faces of any movement, much less one claiming fealty to the teachings of Jesus Christ.

If you want an America straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale, then what Wallnau is so fervently praying about is for you. Unfortunately, it’s also unconstitutional, immoral, and un-Christian. It’s about Christian nationalists becoming the American Taliban and exercising dominion over every aspect of American life and thought.

It will be an America ruled by the Lowest Common Duhnominator…and the days of Pax Americana will soon be behind us. America will become an overstuffed clown car full of self-righteous, overly officious, and deadly power-hungry thugs who will use Christianity as a bludgeon.

And American power and moral authority will become a thing of the past, ruined by those who lack the brainpower to do the right things for the right reasons.