This Week In Stupid- "It's A Nothingburger"
"I'm being indicted for you"...because you're stupid enough to buy it and send me money, lots and lots of money
Mom Influencer Sentenced For Falsely Claiming Latino Couple Tried To Kidnap Her Kids:
You remember Katie Sorensen, right? She’s the Karen I wrote about back in mid-May, who made a false report of a crime in which she accused a Latino couple of trying to steal her children. She was so deep into QAnon that she couldn’t tell an innocent Latino couple from ruthless child traffickers.
They’re Brown; of course, they were up to no good.
Ultimately, she made a complete mess of her life for no discernible reason other than she’s a racist Karen who decided that a Latino couple ipso facto MUST be committing unspeakably evil acts upon her precious snowflakes. It’s what Brown people do, right??
They weren’t. They were shopping in a crafts store, minding their own business, and were “guilty” only of being in the wrong place at the worst possible time.
Sorensen, a “mom influencer”- whatever that might mean- must’ve thought that being White and well-off meant she was beyond accountability for her actions.
Thankfully, even White wackjobs have to face the music now and again.
Sorensen was sentenced Thursday to 30 days in jail and 60 days of work release for making a false report of a crime, according to the Santa Rosa Press Democrat.
She was also ordered to complete 12 months of probation “during which time she was ordered to have no social media presence, submit to warrantless search and seizure, to include her electronic devices, complete a 4-hour implicit bias training, as well as various fines and fees,” according to CBS News.
The 31-year-old was convicted in April in connection with an incident in December 2020, when she posted a video that alleged a man and woman tried to kidnap her two children in the parking lot of a Michaels crafts store in Petaluma, California.
The accused couple, Sadie Vega-Martinez and Eddie Martinez, were later cleared of any wrongdoing, and an investigation “produced no evidence” to support Sorensen’s allegations.
The sad thing was that Mr. and Mrs. Martinez were even forced to undergo an investigation. They were minding their own business in a Michael’s store when they (to their misfortune) crossed paths with Mrs. Crazypants. And, because she’s White, connected, and up to her ladyparts in QAnon, Katie Sorensen could accuse Sadie and Eddie Martinez of attempting to kidnap and traffic her children.
Now Mrs. Crazypants won’t be able to “momfluence” her way to hawking essential oils, “clean beauty,” and whatever else she’d built her “career” on. That’s good, though. Being a Karen should have substantial consequences…like being unable to start a podcast, right?
2 Iowa teens plead guilty in Spanish teacher’s beating death:
There may have been a time or three when I didn’t get the grade I wanted or felt I deserved from one of my teachers, but at no time did beating them to death for said “transgression” enter my mind. I guess I’m just funny like that. I like to settle my problems the old-fashioned way- I’d whine and moan like a spoiled brat until someone told me to STFU.
That may not have solved my problem, but at least it made me feel I was being noticed. For Willard Miller and Jeremy Goodale, though, whining and moaning weren’t nearly good enough. Their beef with Spanish teacher Nohema Graber was apparently quite personal… so they beat her to death with a baseball bat.
Two Iowa teenagers admitted helping ambush and kill their high school Spanish teacher who was beaten to death in a park with a baseball bat. Both pleaded guilty Tuesday to first degree murder.
Prosecutors said Willard Miller and Jeremy Goodale carried out the 2021 attack on Nohema Graber because of a bad grade she had given Miller. The two were 16 at the time.
Evidence shows both Miller and Goodale struck the 66-year-old teacher while she was taking her regular after-school walk, prosecutors say. Miller admitted helping plan and carry out the killing but denied ever hitting Graber. Goodale testified that Miller initiated the plan to kill Graber and each of them struck her.
The Fairfield High School teacher’s body was found hidden in the park under a tarp, wheelbarrow and railroad ties. The town of Fairfield is home to some 9,400 people and is around 100 miles (160 kilometers) southeast of Des Moines.
That seems a bit extreme, no? Not only did it not improve their grade, but it’s an excellent way for two teenagers to f**k up the rest of their lives. Sadly, I doubt that was part of their thought process (as much as one existed) when they dispatched Ms. Graber to the Great Beyond.
Prosecutors will be recommending a sentence of between 30 years and life with the possibility of parole for Miller and 25 years and life with the possibility of parole for Goodale. They should consider themselves lucky that they have any chance of seeing freedom in their lifetimes; it’s more than Ms. Graber will ever see.
Goodale testified that they planned the killing for about two weeks, after Miller recruited him to help. Goodale had previously agreed to testify against Miller at his trial, which was expected to begin later this week.
“On Nov. 2 of 2021, I met Willard Miller at Chautauqua Park, and I understood that he had intent to kill Mrs. Graber,” Goodale said as he entered his plea. He said Miller “brought a bat among other supplies to go through with the murder.”
“After he had struck Nohema Graber, he then moved her off of the trail where I then struck her and she died as a result,” Goodale said. “Afterwards, we removed any evidence that we could.”
They were charged as adults because of the severity and brutality of the crime but weren’t subject to the mandatory life sentence because they were only 16 at the time of the crime.
So, what have we learned from this horrible episode?
DO YOUR DAMNED HOMEWORK.
Marjorie Taylor Greene Too F***-Headed For House Freedom Caucus, LOL LOL LOL:
I know; I said I wouldn’t write about Rep. Marjorie Trailer Greene (R-GA) again, but this one was too good to pass on, knowhutimean??
When the f**kwits in the House Freedom Caucus are done with you and boot your ass out of their exclusive KKKlub, you must be a useless piece of s**t. And that, kids, entirely sums up one of the most monumentally useless Congresscritters ever to befoul Capitol Hill:
Since the beginning of time, man has sought to answer the question “How galactically enormous an asshole must you be to get kicked out of the House Freedom Caucus, for Christ’s sake??”
And now we have the answer: Marjorie Taylor Greene. You must be a Marjorie Taylor Greene-level asshole to get the boot from a caucus whose entire existence is predicated on giving galactically enormous assholes a place to feel less lonely.
As Fred Willard might have said, “Wha’ happen?”
You may recall the incident a couple of weeks ago when Greene and fellow diseased kidney valve Lauren Boebert got into an argument on the floor of the House over which of them would get to impeach Joe Biden first and earn all the golden mushrooms or whatever like some sort of wingnut Mario brother. The confrontation, captured in all its visual but unfortunately not auditory glory by a CSPAN camera, reportedly peaked when Greene accused Boebert of being “a little bitch to me.”
Well who knew the House Freedom Caucus has a civility clause, at least when addressing anyone to the political right of George Lincoln Rockwell:
“She is no longer with HFC,” a Republican lawmaker told The Daily Beast, noting that “disparaging” fellow members is frowned upon.
Yes, “How galactically enormous an asshole,” indeed? Not since the late, not-so-great Sen. Joseph McCarthy (R-WI) has a politician proved themselves to be such an enormous, monumentally useless asshole. Even worse, MTG is monstrously and unjustifiably proud of being a vast, hopeless asshole. She’s added nothing of value to Congress during her two terms and accomplished even less for her constituents or country.
When even the Freedom Caucus, where the scum of the House GOP Caucus congeals and sinks to the bottom of the cesspool, has had enough of your foul, crazy bullshit, you have to know that you’ve gone FAR off the reservation.
Was it the time Greene accused antifa and trans people of conspiring to shoot schoolchildren? Is it the time she told a hearing witness that as a lesbian stepmom, how dare she refer to herself as a parent? The time she threatened to shut down Pornhub, thus enraging perverts and her fellow GOP House members? (But we repeat ourselves.)
Okay, that last one definitely loomed large. It’s a House bylaw that depriving James Comer of pleasuring himself to amateur girl-on-girl scissoring videos is a big no-no.
Also, jeez has Greene done a lot of dumb crap.
Greene had been trending towards trouble with the rest of the GOP caucus for a while, as the normie House Republicans (we’re aware we are stretching the definition of “normie” like Plastic Man here) have been slapping her down for some of her antics. But to have finally hit “even the Freedom Caucus has had enough of you” levels is without question the greatest achievement of her brief congressional career.
Of course, getting on James Comer’s bad side isn’t the worst thing you could do, but MTG couldn’t even pull that one off.
When your last straw is engaging in a catfight on the House floor with Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO), who’s famous for possessing the intellectual agility of a soap dish…yeah, you’ve hit bottom. That’s difficult to do in a barrel that has no bottom.
Stupid is as stupid does…and it doesn’t get much dumber than this, eh?
Embrace the Hate:
I know; like me, you grew up being taught that Christianity was all about love, understanding, tolerance, and acceptance, right? Love your fellow man, treat others as you’d hoped to be treated, work for peace…all that good and wonderful stuff, right?
Well, what if I told you there’s a school of Christianity that says all that is total bullshit, that Jesus is really about hate?
Yes, my friends. Hate can be a good thing. In fact, America would be a better place if the American Church started to hate some things. I’m coming out of the closet today. I AM A PROUD HATER. I hate what God hates…not carnal hatred…PERFECT HATRED. Hatred should motivate us to fight.
A False Witness who speaks lies (Proverbs 6:19)
One who sows discord among brethren (Proverbs 6:19)
Esau (Malachi 1:2-3,Romans 9:13)
Persevere Heart (Proverbs 11:20)
False balance / false weights / false scales (Deuteronomy 25:13-16, Proverbs 11:1, Proverbs 20:10, Proverbs 20:23)
Sacrifice of the Wicked (Proverbs 15:8, Proverbs 21:27)
Evil Plans (Proverbs 15:26)
Justifies the Wicked (Proverbs 17:15)
Condemns the Righteous (Proverbs 17:15)
Idolatry (Deuteronomy 7:25)
The devious (Proverbs 3:32)
Homosexuality (Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, 1 Corinthians 6:9)
Burns their children as an offering (Deuteronomy 18:10)
Sorcery / necromancer / wizard (Deuteronomy 18:10-11)
And people wonder why I’m an atheist….
Yeah, if Dave Daubenmire’s a follower of Jesus Christ, I’m the reincarnation of Idi Amin.
Ron DeSatan Indoctrinating His Children Into Trumpism:
Just in case anyone had forgotten what life was like four years ago, there was a time when Floriduh Gov. Ron DeSatan was happy to accept The Former Guy’s endorsement.
Now this all looks rather cringe-inducing, eh? Yeah, make America less hypocritical again, whydon’tcha??
Miami Swim Week Remains the Most Chaotic Fashion Week of the Year:
I’m not big on fashion. Is it worth doing if I can’t do it in a T-shirt or sweatshirt and a pair of jeans? I can’t remember the last time I wore a pair of pants that weren’t denim and shoes that didn’t have “running” as a descriptor. Living as I do in the fleece sweater and flannel shirt capital of the world, my commentary on any fashion is superfluous at best and just plain ridiculous at worst.
When I hear something about swimwear designers using words like “[a]stronaut helmets, capes, [and] vagina floss,” I’m WAY out of my comfort zone.
Vagina WHAT??? Wait…better yet, don’t tell me.
I love London Fashion Week. I love Milan Men’s Fashion Week. I love Paris Couture Week. They’re all wacky, over-the-top, completely impractical, and beautiful in their own way. But there’s still nothing that compares to the eccentric, far-fetched designs of Miami Swim Week. It always elicits several holy fucking shits from me, and what more could you want from a fashion show?
This year’s Miami Swim Week kicked off on July 4 and runs through July 12, so we still have several more days of runways filled with swimwear that no one, ever, anywhere in the world, would actually wear to a beach or pool. Because that’s not the point of Miami Swim Week; the point of Miami Swim Week is to ask, “What would someone wear to the beach or pool?” and then design the complete opposite.
Wacky. Over-the-top. Completely impractical (are they talking about my writing style?). This is why I don’t write about fashion; I’m not about to start now.
Pool Party Karen Goes On Racist Rant Against Colorado Family In Apartment Complex:
No matter what, some people don’t seem to learn that being a racist asshole isn’t a great way to make yourself Internet-famous in a heartbeat…’cuz it’s for all the wrong reasons.
This poor, dumb, White trash Karen doesn’t seem to understand that being White is apropos of nothing. It doesn’t make you smarter, better, or more worthy of anything. It makes you the lucky recipient of an accident of birth.- a member of The Lucky Sperm Club. That’s it. That’s all.
Video footage is circulating on social media of a white woman making racist remarks toward a Latino family having a small gathering at their apartment complex in Lakewood, Colorado. The Karen remains unidentified but in the clip is seen as a blonde woman wearing a bikini and sunglasses. The woman first complained about the group being too big before diving straight into racism as an onlooker recorded her.
“Yes, it’s true,” she said in the video. “You have a f**king Mexican party in a pool. Trash.” The Karen then realized she was being recorded and took her frustrations out on the person with the camera. “You can’t do that. You can’t just record me,” she says before hitting the phone out of the hand of the person filming heThe video then shows the Karen being held down by a man that she seemingly arrived to the pool with. However, this didn’t stop her from coming for the family and spewing xenophobic remarks like “Get the f**k out” and “go back down to Denver.” One of the people on the receiving end of the attack tells her to leave.
Speaking of “trash,” this Karen does a bang-up job of indicting herself on that same charge. And she does it all while doing nothing to justify why Caucasians should be considered the “master race.”
BTW, if you’re being an asshole toward someone for no reason, that person can record you. There’s no law saying they can’t, and there’s every possibility they may be able to use that recording to sue your entitled ass for harassment.
Being a snotty, self-righteous, entitled Karen doesn’t give you the right to verbally insult someone simply because of their race.
It turns out that the woman in question is 49-year-old Blair Featherman, an art consultant and self-proclaimed Feng Shui expert from Lakewood, CO. I have a feeling that her career just went up in flames- unfortunate, to be sure, but not undeserved given the virulent racism she employed.
The Lakewood woman called the group 'trash' and said they should 'go back down to Denver' and berated them for 'not knowing what Hermes is.' The ordeal took place at 4.25pm at her apartment complex, where condos cost up to $6,500 a month to rent….
Featherman used to work at Master's Gallery Denver, who put out a statement distancing themselves from her, adding that they: 'Condemn any actions or statements expressing hatred or racism.'
She also ran her own home staging and interior design business, Spatial Flow By Design Inc, where she claimed to be an expert in Feng Shui - the art of creating calmness and harmony through the arrangement of objects in a room….
When asked by one of the victims to leave the pool herself, she is heard responding that she lives in Lakewood - the affluent suburb where the complex is set.
At one point she is heard angrily telling the family, who had been having a poolside bash: 'I live here, nowhere you ever came from, you f****** low-class slime.'
She seems nice, eh?
As for “the art of creating calmness and harmony,” I think her actions speak well to the lack of that.
I’ve identified Ms. Featherman not to embarrass her further but because her actions are genuinely egregious and beyond the pale. NO ONE should be allowed to get away with treating other human beings so shabbily, whether based on race or their favorite ice cream flavor. If you’re wondering who the member of the superior race is…well, it’s not Blair Featherman, who’s now Internet-famous for being a first-class racist dumbass.
I hope she’ll find it within herself to apologize to the people she verbally assaulted. And I hope she’ll somehow find a way to make amends. I don’t believe in tossing people aside permanently. That said, Ms. Featherman has some ‘splainin’ today before anyone in the Denver area will be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt…unless they’re neo-Nazis.
….
That’s This Week in Stupid. Please tune in next week when Floriduh Gov. Ron DeSatan will explain why he’ll be oil-wrestling Chris Christie in Des Moines over Labor Day weekend.
