This Week in Stupid- Pics or it didn't happen!
Just another day on the Diarrhea Shuttle with Tommy Tuberville, or "Is the Government controlling the weather with laser beams?"
Kanye West And Bianca Censori 'Banned For Life' From Venice Boat Company After NSFW Incident
No, she was doing some preventive maintenance on his purple-headed yogurt slinger….
Kanye West and his partner Bianca Censori have reportedly been “banned for life” following a lewd act on a Venice boat.
West, who legally changed his name to “Ye,” sparked controversy last week after being photographed in an indecent position with the Australian architectural designer while embarking on a canal boat ride in Venice.
In several viral snapshots, the Yeezy mogul, 46, was captured with his pants down and his bare bottom exposed during the ride as Censori, 28, appeared to be kneeling down between his legs.
It’s essential to keep it adequately moisturized, knowhutimean?? And Ms. Censori appears to be quite diligent in her work.
Houston road sign on Westheimer hijacked with obscene message
Even for Tucker Carlson, his supposed Obama sex exposé was ridiculous
The beautiful thing about being a Conservative blowhard is that you can engage in all manner of cheap, prurient character assassination without a shred of evidence.
Or ever having to say you’re sorry. But that doesn’t mean you’re not a total dickhead, like Tucker Carlson, who’s to slime what Freddie Mercury was to glory holes.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. This time last time year Tucker Carlson had a primetime spot on Fox News where his hate-heavy, fact-light sputtering drew an audience of over 4 million. Then, in April, he was summarily fired. Fox didn’t explicitly say why. Carlson has claimed that it was a condition of the media company’s $787.5m settlement with Dominion Voting Systems relating to the broadcast of Donald Trump’s lies about election fraud; both Fox and Dominion have denied that Carlson’s firing had any relation to the settlement….
While everything about Carlson is in bad taste, he really outdid himself this week. Clearly desperate for ratings, he interviewed a man called Larry Sinclair who claims he took drugs and had sex with Barack Obama while the young politician was working in the Illinois government, just before his meteoric rise. According to Sinclair, he wasn’t the only man to have drug-fueled dalliances with Obama but no one else is around to speak up about it because they were all murdered by Obama’s campaign.
Sinclair, who has a substantial criminal record and seems to specialise in cons, has been making these claims for 15 years now. Nobody has ever been able to verify them and, one imagines, many news outlet have deployed considerable resources attempting to do so. Despite the fact that Sinclair claims Obama was running all around Chicago doing crack and powder cocaine, making stops at the Comfort Inn to do oral sex, nobody else seems to know anything about it. Which is strange because, at the time all this supposedly took place, Obama had a public profile as an Illinois politician. These claims are either unverifiable because all the witnesses have been murdered or because the whole thing is complete nonsense.
Of course, this is all unverifiable nonsense, not that Carlson cares. He just wanted an excuse to spend 40 minutes or so being homophobic, racist, and trying (yawn…yet again) to embarrass Barack Obama. For that to happen, there would need to be some truth behind Sinclair’s accusations, which have never been substantiated.
As for Obama? He’s writing bestselling books, kitesurfing and generally living his best life. Carlson may have been trying to humiliate the former president, but in the end he only humiliated himself.
So Tucker Carlson has succeeded only in proving yet again what a YUUUGE asshole he is and how thoroughly shameless he can be in pursuit of a story. It need not have a shred of truth to it; it need only embarrass the target of his ire.
Carlson should be ashamed of himself, but, as he’s utterly incapable of processing shame, that’s not a reasonable expectation.
Seattle ranked among top cities for surviving a zombie apocalypse
Sure…probably because no zombie could qualify for a mortgage, much less afford an apartment in Seattle. Or anywhere else on the West Coast, for that matter.
How Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) manages to string together complete sentences is a mystery I’m not going to solve. The junior senator from the “Wasn’t Slavery Grand?” State barely has two functional brain cells to rub together, but he can spout Russian propaganda with the best of ‘em.
Alabama’s Stupidest Export Tommy Tuberville has no problem spouting off Russian propaganda, whether or not he’s aware he’s doing it. He’s an incredibly dumb fucking idiot, and we imagine any Russian spy within 100 miles of Tuberville’s morning cheese grits would be more than eager to drop Father Putin’s message in his bowl to see how eagerly he’d lap it up.
Last month, even as Tuberville has been playing “Keep Away” with America’s military and national security because he thinks his small god is mad about Joe Biden’s abortion policies, Tuberville came up with the most cleverest football analogy for Russia and Ukraine, it was really the cleverest, you wanna hear it? Heh heh heh heh heh, you’re gonna get tickled by this one.
He called it “the regime’s war in Ukraine,” blurting out Russian propaganda that Joe Biden is somehow responsible for Vladimir Putin driving tanks across the Ukrainian border and starting a baby-raping genocide. He said of Ukraine that “at the end of the day, it’s a junior high team playin’ a college team. They can’t win!”
Yeah, well, Ukraine seems to be holding its own, eh? And it’s beginning to look like Russia’s the junior high team that can’t win. Not that this reality is about to knock Sen. Shitferbrainz off track.
Between insulting President Biden and spouting whatever nonsense the squirrels in his head tell him, Sen. Tuberville smiles the smirk of someone convinced of his own surpassing brilliance. He’s the poster child for the Dunning-Kruger Effect and lacks the self-awareness of your average seven-year-old. A real class act, eh?
Meanwhile, Sen. Tuberville’s fuckery is damaging America’s military readiness. That’s OK, though- because, as he’s prone to reminding us, “No one’s more military than I am.”
Right. ‘Cuz his daddy served in the Big One.
JD Vance does his own research
(Yes, Feenstra’s deliberately dishonest post is still live.)
If you think you can beat ‘em, you’d best figure out ways to cheat ‘em. And why not start by convincing the American Sheeple that Joe Biden was President during The Former Guy’s COVID-19 cock-up in 2020?
If we’ve learned anything from the Trump years, it’s that Republicans love their myths…and they revere their mythmakers.
Ever since he came down that escalator eight years ago and began spouting racist lies, Trump has filled this seemingly unquenchable thirst within the Republican Party for a mythic figure built on falsehoods and contradictions.
So the failed businessman with 4+ bankruptcies and 3 marriages under his belt somehow sold himself as a successful businessman and devoted family man.
This up-is-down and down-is-up mythologizing is nothing new for the party of “fiscal discipline” that blows up the deficit whenever in power, of “limited government” that forces women and girls to give birth against their will, and of “law and order” that rallies behind a criminal and con man as its standard bearer.
But now as the 2024 election heats up—an election that looks like a re-match between Trump and President Biden—a whole new myth has taken root on the right: that Joe Biden was president in 2020.
Come again?
X’s community note fact-check below the post explained:
“All 50 states governed by both major parties closed schools in 2020, 10 months before Biden assumed office.”
The fact that Donalds’s post is still up, even after having been thoroughly debunked, speaks to the intentionality of the deception here.
But it’s only the latest in a string of attempts by Republicans to pin the chaos of 2020 on Joe Biden rather than his predecessor.
Remember, kids, as the great Josef Goebbels once taught us, it's not a lie if you can convince people to believe something.
Today’s lesson in international travel: Stay away from the Taco Bell at Hartsfield International Airport. You can thank me later.
Video footage has surfaced on Twitter of the aftermath of the incident that forced a Delta Air Lines flight to turn around Friday, revealing just how disastrous the situation was.
The transatlantic Flight DL194 was headed from Atlanta to Barcelona on Friday, but two hours after departing, the Airbus A350 diverted back to Atlanta following “an onboard medical issue” involving a passenger who had severe bouts of diarrhea “all the way through the plane.”
In the footage that surfaced on Tuesday, the plane’s seats are abandoned, with sheets and pillows sprawled on the chairs. Down the length of an aisle, the blue carpet shows swaths of reddish brown stains covered partly by paper napkins.
That reminds me of one of the opening scenes from Trainspotting- “The Worst Toilet in Scotland,” only this would’ve been SO much worse. If you need even more gross details, there’s video here.
Sarah Palin Remembers When Lady Justice Was Too Blind To Even See January 6 Attacker Dudes
Caribou Barbie has the sads because the courts had the gall to sentence a gaggle of Proud Boys to a whole buncha years in jail because of a “normal tourist visit” to the US Capitol on January 6, 2021. Except that this “normal tourist visit” was anything but “normal.” Five people died, protesters did millions of dollars in damages…and the “normal tourists” came close to overthrowing the government.
That’s…normal?
Would it have been “normal” if Democrats had done the same thing? As if we need to wait for the answer.
Anarchy Princess 2, Peter Navarro 0
Republicans are crybaby losers who hate democracy. Mike Huckabee is supposedly a Christian minister- except he’s a man of God like I’m Gordon Ramsay’s butt boy.
Former Arkansas governor and failed presidential candidate Mike Huckabee opened the most recent episode of his “Huckabee” program on the Trinity Broadcasting Network by warning that if former President Donald Trump fails to win the 2024 election because of the multiple indictments he is facing, “it is going to be the last American election that will be decided by ballots rather than bullets.”
“Do you know how political opponents to those in power are dealt with in third-world dictatorships, banana republics, and communist regimes?” Huckabee asked during his opening monologue of Saturday night’s episode. “The people in power use their police agencies to arrest their opponents for made-up crimes in an attempt to discredit them, bankrupt them, imprison them, exile them, or all of the above.”
“If you are not paying attention, you may not realize that Joe Biden is using exactly those tactics to make sure that Donald Trump is not his opponent in 2024,” Huckabee claimed.
No. That is NOT what Joe Biden is doing, and Mike Huckabee is a lying sack of dog excrement with the integrity of Hermann Goering.
I’m unsure what The Former Guy could have on Huckabee that could turn him into a worse and even more pathetic grifter. Sadly, the former preacher and Arkansas Governor has always been miserable and a grifter. He’s just ramping up his act.
South Dakota GOP Gov Kristi Noem Hops On Speeding Trump Train
Is there ANYONE with a functional moral center remaining in the GOP?
NO? I didn’t think so. Kristi Noem’s angling to be The Former Guy’s VP selection, anyway. It helps that she has the morals and political instincts of a serial killer.
Well, when you’re running out of able-bodied men at home who might be willing to fight your wars, it’s time to look at Third World countries where folks might do anything for money.
But, please, by all means, do tell me again why Joe Biden is too old and senile to run for President again.
3-legged bear breaks into Florida home, drinks White Claw
On a day when a three-legged bear breaking into a home isn’t even the oddest part of this story….
LAKE MARY, Fla. (WFLA) — A three-legged bear known as Tripod broke into a lanai over the weekend and decided to have a party.
Josaury Faneite-Diglio told NBC affiliate WESH that she received a security camera notification around 5 p.m. Sunday and saw that Tripod was paying her Lake Mary house a visit.
At the same time, Faneite-Diglio’s son, 13-year-old Joseph Diglio was home and heard the family dog Bruno barking. Soon after, he spotted Tripod breaking in by tearing a hole in the patio screen.
“Oh my God. I’ve never been this close to a bear,” Diglio said in the video.
Tripod then made himself at home and opened the family’s mini fridge.
Faneite-Diglio told the news station that Tripod had some fish food that was left next to their fish tank and then proceeded to the bar.
“He took three White Claws, drank, and left very happy. His favorite flavor is mango and strawberry,” Faneite-Diglio told WESH.
White Claw? Seriously? Damn, man…that stuff is awful.
RFK Jr. Gives Speech To Crowd Containing German Neo-Nazis, Sues Blogger For Noticing
When did the worms eat RFK Jr.’s brain…and who thought it would be a GREAT idea for him to run for President as a Democrat?
Paul Blair Is Teaching Pastors That the Federal Welfare System Violates ‘God’’s Design’
Because compassion and Christianity go together like oil and water, right?
Immigrants and children of immigrants make up at least 15% of the 118th Congress
OK, so Lauren Witzke isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the box; that shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to anyone who knows anything at all about her. Now, she wants us to believe that having immigrants (and children of immigrants!!) in Congress is a bad/nasty/awful thing.
As America’s White demographic is rapidly replaced, our representation in Government is quickly replaced as well.
Immigrants are tribal and loyal to their own. A majority of immigrants will vote for someone they feel represents their exclusive interests.
Import thousands of Somalians, get Ilhan Omar, import thousands of Hispanics, and elect AOC.
If you import the third world, you (and your government) will become the third world.
“OUR representation?” Perhaps someone should tell the blond bimbo that for someone to be in Congress, they must be an American citizen.
And “immigrants” are no more or less tribal than White Conservative Christian heterosexuals, who are dangerously tribal (a lá Ms. Witzke). Immigrant citizens aren’t inherently less valuable Americans than White Conservative Christian heterosexuals. I’d take Ilhan Omar and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez over Marjorie Trailer Greene and Lauren Boebert any day of the week and twice on the weekends.
Memo to Ms. Witzke: If you import dumbasses, racists, xenophobes, and homophobes, you’ll become dumbasses, racists, xenophobes, and homophobes. Sadly, she has NO claim to being inherently superior over anyone for any reason.
MAGA Pastor Shane Vaughn Baselessly Insists That Trump Is Immune From Prosecution
It’s true; the man can do no wrong! No matter what he does, no one can hold him accountable…for anything!!
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Senator Slimey Gubershill, above mentioned pastor, a few others, all of these grease-stains presuming to know and then legislate to the world what doG wants. I suppose one could point out that they are violating an enumerated commandment: they are being so vain as to take God's name to themselves. But since when did these leaking lava-lamps ever bother to read, never mind read their precious bible?