This Week In Stupid- Push The Brown People Back Into The Rio Grande

It's not like they're real people, anyway

Jim Caviezel Calls Donald Trump 'The New Moses':

No one will ever accuse Jim Caviezel of being the sharpest tool in the shed. He’s a competent actor, but he thinks The Former Guy is the answer to America’s problems. That means he should probably stick to acting and leave the thinking to others.

Yeah, Caviezel isn’t going to win an Academy Award for “Sound of Freedom,” which Rolling Stone called, “a vigilante fever dream” and “a QAnon-tinged thriller” for the “conspiracy addled boomer.” I have to take their word for it; I wouldn’t pay money to see it if someone gave me a Rolex.

Woo…tell us how you really feel.

But Caviezel, in an interview with Fox & Friends’ Brian Kilmeade, proclaimed, “I mean, I’m still Jesus, but he’s the new Moses. Pharaoh, let my children go free.”

Actors sometimes have a hard time letting go of roles, eh? Or he’s run through his meds and forgot to refill his prescription.

Some Asshole Michigan Salon Owner Wants To Be World-Famous For Being Bigot:

Being a White Conservative Christian heterosexual doesn’t make you anything special. It certainly doesn’t make you better than anyone else. And it sure as Hell doesn’t give you the right to openly disdain others as “less than” simply because they happen to live and/or love differently.

No, it just makes you an intolerant, homophobic asshole. Our case in point this week is one Christine Geiger, from Traverse City, Michigan, who thought it would be a GREAT idea to trumpet her homophobia as it related to her business. To wit:

Take a stand, indeed…and watch your business corkscrew itself into bankruptcy, eh?

As a wise person once advised me, ‘tis better to be thought a flaming asshole than to post an utterly incoherent and highly offensive rant advertising your asshole bona fides.

Got that? That's Studio 8 Hair Lab in Traverse City, Michigan, and it's owned by Christine Geiger, a total fucking asshole….

Bet she's fun at parties and when she asks to speak to the manager and when she demands refunds because this steak is too steak-y and also other times.

So, the pet groomer thing suggests to us that Ms. Geiger is an incredibly stupid person who may have bought into those painfully obvious hoaxes about kids identifying as cats and using litterboxes at school. Or she's just calling trans people animals. It could go either way! The rest just tells us she's a barely literate conservative fascist asshole ("Witchmere"?) who took all those lies about how she's a special and talented child of God a little bit too seriously.

Heartland Signal explains that the Michigan law Geiger refers to, HB 4744, is being misunderstood by stupid people to mean that they can be fined $10,000 for using the wrong pronoun. The fact that Ms. Geiger is so upset by the possibility of being asked to use somebody's preferred pronouns does tell us what a thin-skinned, easily triggered lunatic she is.

It’s one thing to have a legitimate gripe with a law and to make a coherent, well-organized argument stating your case. It’s quite another to be Ms. Geiger and engage in an incoherent, pointless rant that proves you’re a homophobe and a total fuckwit.

Man, I’ll bet Geiger’s a hoot once she gets a few beers in her, eh?

Austin ISD teacher says she was fired after her TikTok got millions of views:

This one goes back a month or so, but it’s so unbelievably stupid that I couldn’t pass on it. In fact, the more I think about it, the angrier I get. It’s THAT stupid.

A teacher in Austin, TX, was fired for, among other things, TEACHING STUDENTS ABOUT THEIR LEGAL AND CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS. Oh, the horrors. What if students begin thinking for themselves and realize they have rights? And what if they start to demand that they be treated in accordance with those rights?

Oh, the humanity.

An Austin ISD elementary school teacher has been fired after posting a viral TikTok about a meeting she recently had with administrators. Sophia DeLoretto-Chudy, a first-year third grade teacher at Austin's Becker Elementary School, was called into a meeting with the principal in March to discuss several concerns administrators had with her style of teaching. Among those listed in a memo included the fact that DeLoretto-Chudy allowed students to do a book study on Harry Potter and sit for the Pledge of Allegiance.

"It just felt like a very demoralizing meeting," DeLoretto-Chudy told FOX 7 Austin. "I think that's really the word for it, where I didn't feel supported, and I felt disrespected." Following the meeting, DeLoretto-Chudy took to TikTok to note that school administrators said they were also concerned about her "intentional attempt in teaching your students about their legal and constitutional rights." 

Right; this is Texas we’re talking about. Children are supposed to be taught to be obedient Christian soldiers, NOT to think for themselves. If we wanted them to learn critical thinking skills, they’d be Democrats.

Administrators were concerned about Ms. DeLoretto-Chudy’s attempts to teach students “about their legal and constitutional rights?” WTF? What was she thinking? The next thing we know, they’ll ask her if the Bible IS the inerrant, divine Word of God.

This is Texas; why would we want children thinking in our schools? We’re trying to create obedient Christian soldiers.

I DID NOT SAY THOSE ANTISEMITIC ANTI-VAX THINGS! Says Guy Who Said Those Antisemitic Anti-Vax Things:

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. may be many things, but a gifted liar, prevaricator, and dissembler are not on that list. He gives those of us with “Jr.” in our names a bad rap. The man’s a walking, talking advertisement for the Dunning-Kruger Effect. He lacks the self-awareness or the honesty to recognize just how out of his depth he is as a Presidential candidate.

And, man, is he screwed.

The fact that Republicans LOVE him should provide him with a blinking red light kind of clue that something is horribly wrong with his candidacy. Alas, he seems unable to recognize that he’s become an embarrassment to himself, his family, and his party.

Jim Jordan’s Committee To Weaponize MAGA Republicans Against The American People had another one of its hearings Thursday, on “censorship,” so of course they brought in lunatic troll spoiler presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Definitely a productive use of Congress’s time.

But real Democrats know what to do in this situation, so they just repeatedly exposed Kennedy as a loser and a clown, over and over and over and over again.

Which, unsurprisingly, didn’t require any of the assembled Democrats to even break a sweat.

For our money, one of the best moments of the whole entire hearing was when Rep. Gerry Connolly essentially called Kennedy a shame to his family right to his face.

“I revere your name,” Connolly said. “You’re not here to propound your case for censorship. You are here for cynical reasons to be used politically by that side of the aisle to embarrass the current president of the United States, and you’re an enabler in that effort today. And it brings shame on a storied name that I revere. I began my political interest with your father, and it makes me profoundly sad to see where we have descended today in this hearing.”

He didn’t say the words “your father would be ashamed of you,” but we can all read between the lines.

And Kennedy continued to bring shame to his father throughout the hearing. He angrily yelled at Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who committed the sin of quoting his antisemitic batshit words about Covid verbatim.

RFK Jr. must’ve hated it when faced with having the transcript of what he said read back to him word for word. That had to suck.

“A few months ago, Mr. Kennedy, you compared Covid public health policies to barbaric murderous tactics of Nazi Germany, saying that Jewish people in Nazi Germany had more freedom than Americans facing Covid health restrictions. In hindsight, Mr. Kennedy, do you reject this absurd and deeply hurtful and harmful comparison, or do you still stand by it?”

And he called her a liar. So she entered his quote into the congressional record and reclaimed her time.

Kennedy lied and said, “I have never been anti-vax. I have never told the public to avoid vaccination.” He yelled about his views being misrepresented.

As any liar and prevaricator worth their weight knows, the louder you yell about your views and words being misrepresented, the closer to the truth your words become. It’s simple math…or it might have been something Josef Goebbels once said. Either way, the result’s the same, right?

Parkland school shooting reenactment set for Aug. 4 using live ammunition, judge told:

So what better way to not retraumatize a community than to re-enact a school shooting that traumatized an entire community?

Some folks are so intent on getting their pound of flesh from former Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School resource officer and former Broward County Deputy Sheriff Scot Peterson that the mass shooting will be re-enacted. Using live ammunition, no less.

Trauma? What trauma?

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) — The reenactment of a 2018 mass shooting at a Parkland high school will take place early next month as part of a civil lawsuit and will use live ammunition with a bullet safety device, a judge was told Thursday.

Circuit Judge Carol-Lisa Phillips endorsed an agreement reached by attorneys for victims’ families and former Broward Deputy Scot Peterson to conduct the reenactment Aug. 4 at a three-story classroom building at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School.

An ballistics expert for the families, former FBI agent Bruce Koenig, testified that live rounds make a different sound than blanks. A key issue in the lawsuit is what Peterson could hear during the shooting on Valentine’s Day 2018, in which 17 people died and 17 more were wounded with an AR-15-style rifle.

“You want to imitate the situation as close as possible,” Koenig said. Blanks, he added, are “almost as loud, but there definitely is a difference.”

Of course, I don’t know enough about the situation to understand how much Peterson’s actions (or lack thereof) are responsible for the carnage on Feb. 14, 2018— but re-enacting the shooting? No matter what happens, nothing will bring back the children who were murdered.

Travis King isn't the 1st U.S. soldier to enter North Korea. Here's a history:

So you’re in the Army. You’re stationed in South Korea and staring across the Demilitarized Zone into North Korea. You’re bored, your Army career is turning to shit, and you’re about to be court-martialed. What else could go wrong, right? So what’s a desperate, lonely, and out-of-options guy to do?

Well, you could defect to North Korea. I hear Pyongyang’s beautiful this time of year.

Cosmetics Giant Avon Accused of Secret Pro-Ukraine Op in Russia:

Well, if nothing else, you have to credit the Ukrainians for creativity, eh? And Avon, of course, for having the cojones to get on board with a secret operation intended to undermine Russian interests inside the country.

If that’s what happened.

Cosmetics giant Avon is reportedly under scrutiny by Russian investigators for slipping pro-Ukrainian fliers into customers’ orders. A Russian man who ordered perfume for his wife off the company’s website went to police after finding “extremely aggressive information about Russia’s actions in Ukraine” in the package, the Kommersant newspaper reported. The fliers also reportedly expressed support for the Russian Volunteer Corps, a militia fighting for Ukraine against their own country. Avon’s press service was quoted telling local media on Thursday that they’re carrying out their own investigation into the “serious” allegations, and that they have not yet been contacted by law enforcement. “We will conduct a thorough investigation into this matter as it conflicts with the company’s mission to support women through beauty,” the company said. Avon paused new investments in Russia after Moscow’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine last year, but manufacturing continues at the company’s Russian factory for direct sales throughout the country.

I suppose cosmetics could be weaponized if Avon was so inclined, but it seems a stretch. Still, even if this is a rumor that keeps the Russians off their feed for a while, it might be worth it. Paranoia in the service of the Greater Good can be very useful, no?

Feds 'Assess' Alleged Texas Orders To Push Children, Nursing Babies Back Into Rio Grande. Assess Faster, Guys:

It should come as a shock to no one that Texas Gov. Greg Abbott is a flaming asshole with the humanity and bedside manner of Josef Mengele. The idea that he may have ordered Texas National Guardsmen to push illegal migrants back into the Rio Grande and to withhold water from them even during a heat wave seems plausible.

To Gov. Abbott, the only life that has value is White Conservative Christian heterosexual life. Everyone else can go straight to Hell; do not pass “GO,” do not collect $200.

Jesus, what an unbelievable dick.

The US Justice Department is looking into allegations that Texas state troopers were ordered to push migrants back into the Rio Grande and to withhold water from them even during a heatwave. DOJ spokesperson Xochitl Hinojosa told CNN that the department “is aware of the troubling reports, and we are working with DHS and other relevant agencies to assess the situation,” as a possible first step toward a formal investigation….

On Tuesday, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre condemned Texas’s placement of miles of razor wire along the banks of the Rio Grande:

“It is abhorrent. It is despicable. It is dangerous,” White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said, adding that if the accounts are accurate, the state’s actions violate “bedrock values.”

Sure, but Greg Abbott’s a monstrous asshole, so what else would you expect?

Alabama Defies SCOTUS, Refuse To Create 2nd Majority-Black District:

Man, who knew that refusing to obey a Supreme Court decision was even an option? Too bad we didn’t realize that when they shit-canned Roe v. Wade last year, eh? Just think of the fun that blue states could’ve had then.

But when you’re a Republican, you can pretty much do what you want without fear of repercussions.

MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) — Alabama on Friday refused to create a second majority-Black congressional district, a move that could defy a recent order from the U.S. Supreme Court to give minority voters a greater voice and trigger a renewed battle over the state’s political map.

Lawmakers in the Republican-dominated House and Senate instead passed a plan that would increase the percentage of Black voters from about 31% to 40% in the state’s 2nd District. The map was proposed as a compromise between plans that had percentages of 42% and 38%, respectively, for the southeast Alabama district. GOP Gov. Kay Ivey quickly signed it.

State lawmakers faced a deadline to adopt new district lines after the Supreme Court in June upheld a three-judge panel’s finding that the current state map — with one majority-Black district out of seven in a state that is 27% Black — likely violates the federal Voting Rights Act.

Nope, Republicans don’t like the idea of doing anything that makes it more likely they might lose their razor-thin majority in the House of Representatives. That’s a real possibility if they create a second majority-Black Congressional district.

So now that Gov. Ivey has signed a bill with only one majority-Black district, what will become of Republicans and their big “f**k you” to the Supremes? Who knows? The Supreme Court’s authority has always been presumed to be unquestioned. Still, now that Alabama Republicans are taking a crap on it, the Court has no enforcement mechanism.

Stay tuned…this ought to be fun.

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That’s it for this episode of This Week in Stupid. Tune in next week, when we’ll be listening to Ben Shapiro and Sen Ted Cruz (R-Mordor) reviewing the new “Barbie” movie.

Hint: They HATED it. Something about being too pink and not manly enough. Who could’ve foreseen that, eh?