This Week in Stupid- Time to start an OnlyFans?

You could start with Nazis in England and cocaine sharks in Floriduh. Good luck with that, eh?

Scientists Say: Humanity Could Descend into Cannibalism by 2060

Wow…and just in time for my 100th birthday!!

In most countries, cannibalism is illegal. However, there have been a few cases of cannibalism in recent years, even in developed countries. In 2013, for example, a German man named Armin Meiwes was convicted of murder and cannibalism for killing and eating another man who had responded to an online ad seeking someone to be killed and eaten.

If the poor guy responded to an ad seeking someone to be killed and eaten…and he was killed and eaten, could it not be argued that the act was consensual?

This is entirely too weird.

Fox News host: Freedom from religion 'not in the Constitution'

Neither is freedom from stupidity, but you don’t see MSNBC hosts discussing how to avoid Fox News talking head Rachel Campos-Duffy, do you?

Jesus, I've known traffic cones brighter than this woman.

Republicans are slaughtering themselves, and Democrats don't even have to lift a finger

Don’tcha love watching Republicans eat their young? It gives me a wonderful warm feeling all over…and I don’t have to do anything but sit back and enjoy. It’s a beautiful thing.

Takedown, Breakdown

Does Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) have the most punchable face in Congress, or what??

Runaway Florida siblings, 10 and 11, stopped 200 miles away in mother’s car

Kids these days, right?

A 10-year-old Florida boy and his 11-year-old sister who were running away to California drove 200 miles (320km) in their mother’s car before sheriff’s deputies stopped the pair on an interstate highway, authorities said.

The two children had made a run for it after their mother confiscated the girl’s electronics as punishments, according to officials.

The Alachua county sheriff’s office says deputies spotted the siblings’ sedan on Interstate 75 near Gainesville in north Florida just before 4am Thursday. The children’s mother had reported it stolen and her children missing four hours earlier in North Port, a city in south-west Florida.

The deputies, thinking that they were dealing with car thieves, drew their guns and ordered those inside the car to step out.

“Much to their surprise, deputies observed a 10-year-old male driver exit the vehicle along with his 11-year-old sister,” the department said in a statement.

The children told deputies the girl had been upset that their mother had taken away her electronic devices for misbehaving, so the boy was driving her to California. The children were interviewed by detectives, who said there was no indication they had been mistreated by their mother or anyone else in the home.

Man, you can learn how to do ANYTHING on YouTube….

Rudy Sued For $1.4 Million By His Old Lawyers, ProbY'allGonna Have To Start An OnlyFans

Damn…it was in here just a minute ago…. 😳

America’s mayor is being sued for, among things, forcing a female assistant’s head onto his erect penis so she’d perform oral sex on him. Yeah, that’s every bit as gross and exploitative as it sounds. Now, it sounds as if he might have to find a way to monetize his gross oversexualization of women to pay his WAY overdue legal bills.

What? It’s not like anyone’s going to pay to see him pole-dancing.

Ron DeSantis Rules Out Funding COVID Boosters If He Becomes President

Official GOP COVID-19 policy as of 1.2”.25: Y’all can die f”r all I care….

Cocaine-fed sharks are attacking swimmers after drug lords dump hauls in the ocean

Today's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us….

Sharks are going on frenzied attacks against surfers after ingesting cocaine dumped in the sea by drug lords looking to evade police.

Smugglers are thought to be dropping packages of the illegal drug either to be picked up later or just to escape law enforcement before the apex predators come along and munch them, leading to them getting high. Batches of the drug have been known to wash up on Florida beaches in particular….

Scientists haven't been able to confirm the sharks are actually consuming cocaine and it is not known how the drug would affect the sea creatures….

However, surfer.com reported that sharks "love the stuff" and they have plenty to go around as the coast guard found more than 14,000 pounds of cocaine wrapped in packages in June alone, floating in the Caribbean and the Atlantic, off the coast of Florida.

So, in other words, be very, very afraid, and if you see a shark that looks like it hasn’t slept for days, you might want to steer clear of it.

How could Floriduh get worse? Just wait.

How Could Florida Get Worse? Governor Matt Gaetz? How does this scuzzbag still have a political career?

Quick- what three words are guaranteed to induce projectile vomiting among those considering moving to the Sunshine State?

If you guess “Governor Matt Gaetz,” you win! Or maybe lose. It’s hard to tell because we’re all trying to figure out why Rep. Gaetz isn’t a registered sex offender and doing 25-life for schtupping underage girls.

Discussions have already begun about who might step into DeSantis’s high-heeled boots, and during a reception Sunday for the incoming state House speaker, Republican Danny Perez, Matt Gaetz was reportedly seen regaling guests about his higher political ambitions.

Yes, Matt Gaetz.

“There was a lot of talk about [the governor’s race] at the reception last night, and Gaetz was telling people to basically expect him to be in,” one longtime Florida Republican lobbyist said.

Floriduh: Where having a predilection for diddling underage girls is no barrier to having a productive political career…as long as you’re a Republican.

Good Lord…I think I’m going to puke.

The right’s censorship campaign is growing more ambitious — and threatening: Public libraries are a pillar of democracy. Of course, they’re the right's new target.

This perfectly illustrates the “Those who don’t remember history are doomed to repeat it” phenomenon. One of the first things the Nazis did when they began to grow in popularity was to ban and burn books. Now, we’re looking at the genuine possibility of the same thing happening here in America today. Have we learned nothing from history? It would appear not…and so we’re doomed to repeat it.

I fear I’ll wake up one fine morning, look outside, and it will be 1933 again.

Olivia Rodrigo Names The 1 Animal She Fears More Than ‘Aliens And S**t’

Wait…don’t tell me…is it “Republicans?”

GOP Lawmaker's Climate Gag At Pete Buttigieg Is Comedy Gold For All The Wrong Reasons: The secret of great comedy is supposedly timing, and climate change-denying California Republican Dougit'salfa just didn't have it.

The fun starts at 4:52.

Bob Menendez: I was indicted because I am 'a first-generation Latino American from humble beginnings'

No, you were indicted because you figured out you could get rich off your position in the Senate…and you did precisely that. You got lucky the first time around. This time, you're going down for being corrupt and too lazy and stupid to cover your tracks.

Pilotisn'trashed F-35 Fighter Jet Pleads for an Ambulance in Newly Released 911 Call

How does the US Marines Corps lose a $75 million aircraft? Well, when it’s flying at 2,000 feet, all sorts of things can go wrong.

On a newly released 911 audio recording, the pilot who ejected from the F-35 fighter jet that went missing last weekend is heard requesting an ambulance from a South Carolina home. In the four-minute-long recording, the homeowner is heard telling the 911 dispatcher that the pilot parachuted into his backyard and needed help.

“We got a pilot in the house, and I guess he landed in my backyard, and we’re trying to see if we could get an ambulance to the house, please,” the homeowner said in the call, shared by NBC News. The pilot is then heard on the call, telling the dispatcher: “Ma’am, a military jet crashed. I’m the pilot. We need to get the rescue rolling. I’m not sure where the airplane is. It would have crash-landed somewhere. I ejected.”

The Marines eventually found the F-35 about 80 miles away. Thankfully, no one on the ground was injured or killed.

SS uniform-wearing group ordered to leave Sheringham 1940s festival

Men wearing Nazi military uniforms had to be escorted from a 1940s celebration in Sheringham, Norfolk

Funny; I don’t remember seeing “Nazis welcome” on the invitation….

They were wearing German SS outfits and were asked to leave the event in Sheringham, Norfolk, after complaints.

Marshals escorted the men out of the town and police said they were investigating a reported assault.

One member of the group, who did not want to be named, said they had not intended to cause offence.

Oh, you mean that Halloween isn’t until the end of OCTOBER? Damn, my bad….

House Speaker Kevin McCarIt'sRaising Campaign Cash on Bogus Biden Impeachment Inquiry

Sure, the impeachment inquiry will go nowhere in a helluva hurry, but that doesn’t mean the lies, innuendo, and character assassination of the President can’t be used to raise a few bucks, right??

Marjorie Taylor Greene Announces Absurd Declaration of War Against Mexican Cartels: The far-right congresswoman was seemingly unaware that the Congress only allows declarations of war against actual nations

Someone needs to tell the Dumbass Congresscritter that Congress only has the power to declare war against nations, not organizations. It's difficult to imagine how someone this brain-dead could be elected (and RE-elected), isn’t it?

Texas Judge Who Tried To Kill Abortion Pills Is Now Out To Kill Speech (For Drag Queens): Just incredible how much these people hate free speech

Such an even-handed Right-wing arbiter of God's law, isn’t he?

It’s been said that while Lady Justice may be blind, judges most certainly aren’t. Behold Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk, who’s never met a Right-wing trope he wouldn’t rule in favor of. If the even-handed interpretation and application of the law is a judicial canon, Kacsmaryk didn’t get the memo.

You may remember Judge Matthew Kacsmaryk as the Trump-appointed judge who tried to outlaw medication abortion, but that (unfortunately) is not all there is to him. In addition to having ridiculous and untrue ideas about abortion, he also has ridiculous and untrue ideas about drag — namely, that he does not consider it “free speech,” which it very obviously is.

On Wednesday, Kacsmaryk issued a ruling denying Spectrum — a West Texas A&M University (WT) LGBTQ+ group — injunctive relief against their ridiculous bigot of a president who wants to ban drag shows from campus.

Here’s what happened: Back in March, Spectrum attempted to put on a charity drag show on campus to benefit The Trevor Project. It was for students and members of the wider community, but stipulated that children would only be let in with a parent or guardian. WT president Walter Wendler heard about this, freaked out and said that drag shows were not allowed on campus….

Despite the fact that Wendler’s pretend opposition leaned heavily on the absurd “It’s misogyny to dress up as women!” claim, Kacsmaryk’s opinion largely centered upon his own personal belief that drag shows were “sexualized” and his upset over the fact that children would have been allowed to attend accompanied by their parents.

But even if the First Amendment is implicated, President Wendler knew of potential lewdness, which is prohibited under school policy (prohibiting "[p]ublic behavior that is disruptive, lewd, or indecent) (alteration in original). And the First Amendment does not prevent school officials from restricting "vulgar and lewd" conduct that would "undermine the school's basic educational mission" - particularly in settings where children are physically present. […]

But then Kacsmaryk’s ruling gets really weird:

At one point, he literally cited the website of the hate group Gays Against Groomers, which ridiculously claims that “the overwhelming majority of gay people […] directly oppose the sexualization and indoctrination of children. This includes drag queen story hours [and] drag shows involving children.”

Yep. It sounds like someone’s got a great shot at a Supreme Court nomination under a Republican President, doesn’t it?

Wir sind SEHR gefickt.

Drag Queen At Bar Owned By Lauren Boebert's Date Says Rep. Is Lying About Relationship

It appears they’d been going out for months, not the “first date” the Colorado Republican claimed.

The question, of course, is why she would need to lie about virtually everything connected to the evening when she knows it can be easily and quickly fact-checked.

'Whatever you old fart': Marjorie Taylor Greene skewered for Biden insult

There’s stupid. There’s rude. And there’s disrespectful. It’s like she was going for the whole trifecta. And it’s not like she’s any great prize, either.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is in hot water after an offensive comment she made Friday on President Joe Biden's social media post.

Greene, who was recently criticized for a poor shooting comparison, was responding to Biden's comment on potentially banning assault weapons.

Biden said, "It’s time to again ban assault weapons and high-capacity magazines. And let me be very clear: If members of Congress refuse to act, then we need to elect new members of Congress who will act."

Greene didn't comment on the meat of the argument made by Biden, instead choosing to insult him.

"Whatever you old fart," she said Friday. "We are electing a new President. Turning 45 into 47." She did not mention that Trump is slightly younger than his Democratic opponent.

Ron Filipkowski, a former Republican, had an extremely simple response. He said, "The moral and intellectual leader of the Republican Party," sarcastically referring to Greene.

Yeah, MTG really IS the de facto moral and intellectual leader of the GOP…and that hardly speaks well for the future of the Republican Party. She’d rather have a corrupt, mentally- and morally-defective criminal in the White House than someone whose entire Adminstration doesn’t have a SINGLE indictment. Compare that to The Former Guy’s 91 indictments…and counting.

What a f*****g loser.

FedEx Field, home of Washington Commanders, ranked as one of most dangerous stadiums in the NFL

Well, there’s one more thing you can blame on former owner Daniel Snyder, eh?

WASHINGTON - FedEx Field, the home of the Washington Commanders, has been ranked as one of the most dangerous stadiums in the National Football League, according to a new study.

The survey, from sports betting and analytics website Sportsbook Review, compared crime statistics local to each stadium and polled over 3,000 football fans about their experiences.

The report says FedEx Field has the third-highest local property crime rate of any NFL stadium. Sportsbook Review says they found 48.05 property crimes per 1,000 residents in the stadium's zip code.

They also report that 9.4 percent of Commanders fans report having been a victim of a crime that occurred at or around the stadium.

At the top of the list for overall local crime is Empower Field at Mile High, home of the Denver Broncos., the report says. with 70.02 crimes taking place per 1,000 people that live in the stadium's zip code. Ford Field, home of the Detroit Lions, ranks number one for stadiums with the highest local violent crime.

Making matters even worse, the Commanders are a crappy football team. So, get assaulted and/or robbed, AND watch a terrible football team. Sounds like a helluva way to spend a few hundred dollars and waste a Sunday afternoon, eh?