'Tis Better To Have Hated And Be Thought A Dumbass Than Never To Have Hated At All

Because hating the LGBTQ community isn't just a right, it's a Christian duty, and precisely what Jesus would do. Or something like that.

When a fool utters all kinds of insults against you in a social media group without even knowing you or without any worthwhile reason or provocation usually they are merely sad & pathetic attention seeking trolls who we should all feel sorry for. They don't deserve our anger. They deserve our pity.

• R.M. Engelhardt, COFFEE ASS BLUES & OTHER POEMS

There are so many things that American Taliban wingnuts could legitimately lose their shit over these days, but that would require them to DO something. They’d have to push themselves away from their keyboards and take constructive, positive action, which for too many of them is just too damned much work. It’s SO much easier to lob rhetorical bombs from the safety of their keyboards, where they can rule the world from their Mom’s basement.

Why would a good American Taliban keyboard warrior take positive action when they can have a good anti-Satanic rage about…wait for it…Target? Yes, the middle-American upscale Walmart has partnered with an actual Satanist to design their Pridewear collection, and one Internet lady is NOT down with that.

In 1692, in Salem, Massachusetts, 25 men, women, and children were killed because a bunch of not-very-smart people thought that they were witches with magic powers. Nineteen were hanged. Four died in prison, and one was tortured to death. None of them actually did have magic powers, because magic powers are not a real thing. There are those who place some of the blame for this on hallucinations caused by faulty rye bread, but I tend to think it happened because it's just how some people are.

Children are taught this history lesson fairly early on as a warning, so that they know what not to do when they get older. They understand that none of the people killed were witches with magical powers and that the Salem townsfolk killed them because they believed stupid things and didn't mind their own business. Because, you see, it is one thing to believe stupid things. It is another to get in other people's faces about it. Or hang them because of it, as the case has often been.

Yet, judging by our own history, it's not a lesson many people have fully absorbed.

This weekend, there was a big ol' uproar on the Right side of the internet because some Twitter lady found out that one of the designers who created some of the items in Target's pride collection is a Satanist who doesn't literally believe in Satan and who made some other products for Not Target that say things like "Satan Respects Pronouns."

Of course, the American Taliban has been going apeshit over Target’s Pride collection. They do it every year at this time, and it’s so regular you can practically set your watch by it. It’s so predictable that it’s as yawn-inducing as it is meaningless. But it allows the pinheads to feel as if they matter, so there’s that.

Every year the screaming ninnies make noises about boycotting Target over their Pride collection. And every year, their plaintive, homophobic pleas are roundly ignored. So could it be that Target has come to recognize that the haters are capable only of impotent rage and that their sound and fury signify nothing?

I suspect you’re probably not going to see this number at your local Target. Still, the brand, Abprallen, does produce some goods with taglines guaranteed to piss off the self-righteous homophobic ninnies.

And I’m absolutely here for it.

More of this, please.

The line, Abprallen, is designed by a London-based transman named Erik, and the products made for Target's Pride collection include a fanny pack that says "We Belong Everywhere," a bag that says "Too Queer For Here" and a sweatshirt that says "Cure Transphobia, Not Trans People."

Anyway, the Right has already been going absolutely batshit for weeks over Target's Pride collection, which they've been doing every year for a while now. They're all very upset about it and wish that Target and all other brands and companies would simply respect the fact that they are the only people on the planet and "target" no one but them.

The Satanist thing, however, was all kicked off by a lady from Wisconsin named Scarlett Johnson, who had previously made a name for herself by publicly demanding children not learn about racism.

So why am I not surprised that the anti-Satanist free-for-all began with an American Taliban hater from Wisconsin, which has become like Idaho, only with more cows? So the inestimable Ms. Johnson have WAY too much time on her hands, or is she just than intolerant and self-righteous?

As if we even need to answer that.

Why did Target hire a Satanist to design pieces for their Pride line? Maybe because they knew it would piss off the haters? Or maybe, just maybe, they understand that LGBTQ money is every bit as legal tender as good, God-fearing, White Conservative Christian heterosexual homophobe money.

So Ms. Johnson is mortified that there are those out there who don’t hang with her flavor of bitter, mean-spirited, “kill-’em-and-grill-’em” God? After all, it’s not like she’s selling the sort of loving, compassionate God that one might find in…oh, I don’t know…the Gospel?

And if she’s pissed, she’s going to make damned sure everyone else suffers the consequences, right?

I’ll bet she’s all sortsof fun at parties.

Evil ScarJo, as we will now be calling her (duh), did a whole tweet thread in which she quoted Erik at length, demanding to know why Target had hired a Satanist to design things, and failed to explain at any point what was wrong with Target doing so. The Daily Wire did a whole article on her tweet thread and also did not manage to explain what Target did wrong. The Washington Examiner also did a whole article on it without explaining what Target did wrong.

Noted free speech warrior Jordan Peterson railed against Target in several tweets, while also not explaining what the actual problem was.

Stop what? And how does being a pseudo-Christian troll qualify one as an “education activist?” As far as anyone knows, there is no “Target Satanic Controversy,” except perhaps in the overheated imagination of Scarlett Johnson, who’s notable for…well, for what? No one’s explained that yet. Perhaps living in farm country and getting high off methane fumes from the cow manure spread on her fields has fried her frontal lobe.

As for Jordan Peterson, he did spend part of the weekend complaining that women should never have been given the vote.

Maybe because he’s such a big free-speech advocate? Shouldn’t someone tell him that it’s the 21st century and not the 19th?

It seems like there have been a lot of Right-wing brain cells sacrificed to outrage without explaining what the problem is. What’s so wrong/nasty/awful/sinful about Target’s Pride line? And what’s so terrible about the fact that a Satanist helped design it? Did he sacrifice a virgin or six for inspiration? Did he have sex with underage girls (or boys)? Though the self-righteous ninnies might suspect the worst, they lack the bandwidth to understand. They possess only enough to fear and hate…and I truly feel sorry for them.

Several folks have voiced a lot of outrage without actually detailing what the problem is. I hear and see the words “Target Satanic Controversy,” yet there seems to be none in the mainstream media. That’s probably because few care about the “controversy,” and the few who do are the idjits making all the noise. Unfortunately for them, they’ve spent so much time shouting “FIRE!” in a crowded theater that people have long since stop paying attention.

So Scarlett Johnson and Jordan Peterson can crawl back under their rocks. The “Target Satanic Controversy,” such as it is, will run its course, and Pride Month will continue to steamroll pinheads like them. Because regardless of how loud and long the haters scream and tweet, love will eventually prevail…which pisses off the haters even more.

Which is as it should be. Love wins.