Today's big ol' dump o' knowledge
'Cuz we strive to inform and edumicate y'all here at the source of all knowledge and wisdom
If she hadn’t known better, she’d have sworn Neil was a stolid, meditative introvert, keeping the bulk of his thoughts and feelings to himself. But no, Neil voiced his thoughts freely enough. There just weren’t all that many of them.
Cliff Jones Jr., Dreck
Because my ADD brain isn’t functioning well enough after a visit from the Migraine Fairy to allow for constructing long narratives this morning I’m going to toss out a few bite-size observations for giggles. No grand unifying theme, just more of the usual silliness that (more or less) animates this space in smaller chunks….
Prior to the Super Bowl, MAGA Evangelist (has there ever been two more ridiculously and meaninglessly paired words?) Lance Wallnau attempted to determine what prophetic significance a San Francisco 49ers victory might hold for America. He was particularly interested in what a 49ers win might portend for Donny J. Diaperfull’s re-election prospects. Wallnau felt that a four-point victory might mean “4 years of mercy with Trump.”
“Mercy” with “Trump?” Seriously? WTF?
Then, when Kansas City won, Wallnau was forced to ponder what a Chiefs overtime victory meant. He posted a video saying, “I think God is saying maybe there needs to be an alliance?” With what? Aliens? The Trilateral Commission? Packers fans? Jon Stewart? The Keebler elves? Inquiring minds want to know!!
Jared Kushner is alive and well, which I know is more than most of y’all have been wondering about…or maybe not. Then again, when you’re sitting on $2 billion gifted to you by Saudi Prince Muhammad bin-Sultan, he probably doesn’t give a shit what all y’all think. His point is that he believes MBS to be “a visionary” who’s “done a lot of things to make the world a better place.” Like starting with separating a prominent Saudi-American journalist’s head from his shoulders? Since when does one “make the world a better place” with a bone saw?
Ah, yes…’tis good to be J. Kush, no? It’s like he fell out of bed and got beaten soundly about the head and shoulders with a lucky stick…oh, and here’s $2 billion for your troubles. Sucks to be him, eh?
As if to prove that Donald J. Diaperfull owns the GOP and that he has the balls of almost every Republican in a jar in his desk drawer at Mar-a-Lago, the House of Representatives has impeached Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas by a 214-213 vote. The House impeached Mayorkas not because he’s done anything wrong- he really hasn’t- but because Republicans want to look tough for Donald Trump.
Yes, it’s sad and pathetic- impeach him first, and we’ll find the “high crimes and misdemeanors” later…but this is what Dear Leader wants.
Kansas Attorney General Kris Kobach is a man with a black soul, a man who hates those who aren’t White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexuals. These days, he especially hates transgender individuals, primarily because they pose such a major threat to the morality of the people of the Sunflower State. Well, that’s not precisely true; transgender individuals barely pose a threat to themselves, much less anyone else.
Kobach is dead set on rolling back any accommodations the state of Kansas has made for transgender individuals over the past few years. Why? Because he can…and because he’s a dick funded by Kansas taxpayers.
So you hate Brown People? No worries; we’ll just invade Mexico, denude about a kilometer or so of land along the entire US-Mexico border, and then incinerate anyone who dares to wander into that “no-man’s land.” Problem solved, eh?
Of course, we’ll have to engage in military strikes against the cartels every now and again, just to show them we mean business. And the Mexican government might not look at this invasion of their sovereign territory in the most positive light. Other than that, though, it sounds like a GREAT idea.
So, y’all feeling OK? It seems like one fairly simple question set off a lot of people…and not all for the same reason. When Elmo popped up on X to ask everyone how they were doing, the responses were mixed, but on balance the response could be summed up this way: Not great, Bob!!
Elmo’s tweet and the hundreds of thousands of responses generated a lot of media coverage. That might have overwhelmed the three-and-half-year-old stuffed urchin. The poor thing “might not have been prepared for all the emotional fatigue” that followed in response to the tweet. So, careful about the questions you ask…you might get much more than you bargained for.
Welcome to the NFL…No Fun ‘Llowed here. You probably don’t know who Dusty Deevers is…and trust me, you’re better off for it. A dedicated anti-porn crusader and Christofascist in Oklahoma, Deevers wants to ban any sort of adult context, even sexting, between unmarried adults. He must be a blast at parties, eh?
Deevers, who once delivered a sermon demonizing in-vitro fertilization as forcing embryos to be “incarcerated in frozen prisons,” isn’t the most tolerant or open-minded sort. Honestly, he’s the sort of busybody you want to stuff in a trash can. Deevers has promished to “abolish pornography.” Of course, that means he has to define it first…and no, “I’ll know it when I see it” is not an acceptable definition. Trust me; no one wants to live by Dusty Deevers’ self-serving, intolerant definition…of virtually anything.
Mitchell Bosch, a 44-year-old anti-vaxxer and failed Brooklyn City Council candidate, has been arrested for taking part in the January 6 insurrection. Bosch, demonstrably dumber than a box of hair, once bravely stormed a Burger King during the COVID-19 pandemic sans face mask and declared, “You will tell your grandchildren about this moment!” What, when you ordered a Whopper with extra cheese?
Here’s a video of him holding a bottle of his own urine at the Museusm of Natural History because he couldn’t be bothered to wear a mask to use the restroom. What a brave, patriotic American! selfish pussy-ass bitch! Thinking only of himself and refusing to take the health and well-being of his fellow citizens into consideration. As one does.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the Greek Orthodox Church is voicing its intense dispeasure over the Greek government’s plans to legalize same-sex marriages. The proposed law, while it would allow same-sex marriages, would not allow same-sex couples to adopt and raise children.
The church’s governing body, the Holy Synod, while acknowledging that legislation is the purview of the Greek Parliament, stated “that doesn’t relieve the Church of its duty to inform the faithful.” The Holy Synod believes the proposed law could be successfully challenged in court on grounds of discrimination, which may lead to allowing same-sex couples to adopt and raise children.
The Holy Synod’s statement’s goes on to say, “The draft law condemns future children to grow up without a father or mother, in an environment where parental roles are confused.” Yeah, you certainly wouldn’t want to risk having a child grown up in a loving and supportively environment, would you??
Tune in later, when I’ll attempt to answer the burning question of our time, “Boxers or briefs: Is it a function of political ideology? Or whatever’s clean in your underwear drawer?”
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Funny! Shits and giggles! Nearly had to change me drawers. 😜👏👏