Trump Sneakers- A cheap rip-off, because everything he does is derivative
If his gold sneakers seem like rip-offs of Nike's Air Force One's, it's because they are...and the $399 price tag proves there really IS a sucker born every minute.
Colin Winters Rule of Intelligence (CWRI):
Think of a person of average intelligence. Half the people are dumber than that.
Colin Winters
It was with no small degree of “WTF?!?!???” that I learned over this past weekend of Trump Sneakers. In the grand, felonious tradition of Trump Steaks, Trump Suppositories, Trump Anal Probes, Trump Genital Wart Remover, and Trump Hemorrhoid Cream, Trump Sneakers are overpriced and will fail to deliver, if they’re delived at all.
Much like the man himself, yeah?
With all the bravado of a man who promises a woman eight inches of pure man-hammer ecstasy and shows up late with four inches of pencil stub, Donald J. Diaperload was pitching his new sneaker line as if they would out-Michael-Jordan actual Michael Jordans.
If you go to the Trump Sneakers website now, this is what you see:
The site doesn’t appear to be completely built out yet, but it’s put together just enough for the scam it seems to be. But the fact that it’s yet another Trump grift appears to mean nothing to his supporters, who’d buy one of his soiled adult diapers if Orange Jesus signed it.
Just the thought of that…eww…I’m sorry I mentioned it. That’s a guaranteed self-nauseating thought.
The gold high-tops went for $399, and it seems there were 1000 suckers who, unsurprisingly, bought them up almost instantly. I suppose that would be better than one of Donny Diaperfull’s soiled adult diapers, no?
That said, if you feel like you have too damned much money and you can’t justify sitting in front of your fireplace and tossing $20 bills into it for a few hours, you could take a look at the things you’d find suggested for you in your cart:
(Rumor has it the Victory47 Cologne’s top-secret formula has notes of soiled adult diaper, flop sweat, and self-tanner.)
Yes, someone in your neighborhood will now proudly be sporting not only a red MAGA hat and a pair of Trump sneakers…and perhaps even a “TRUMP 2024- FUCK YOUR FEELINGS!!” T-shirt.
Pure class, eh?
(Tell me you want to be ostracized for being a moral reprobate without telling me you want to be ostracized for being a moral reprobate….)
I suspect Nike founder Phil Knight isn’t losing sleep over Trump’s entry into the sports footwear market. If the shoes are anything like Trump Steaks or Trump University, they’ll be a threat only to those who purchase a pair.
At a sneaker conference in Philadelphia over the weekend, former President Donald Trump unveiled his latest pitch — and it wasn't a stump speech.
The businessman-turned-politician debuted a line of gleaming, golden sneakers called the Never Surrender High-Top Sneaker, which sell online for $399 a pair.
"This is something I've been talking about for 12 years, 13 years, and I think it's going to be a big success," Trump said to the crowd at Sneaker Con Philadelphia.
"That's the real deal," he added, holding up the flaxen footwear, which features an American flag on the back and a capital T on the side.
Donald J. Diaperload’s latest grift is particularly ironic given that he’d been hit with a $355 million judgment the previous day. Perhaps it was merely coincidental, but it made Trump look desperate to raise funds to pay off the judgment. That means he’ll have to sell a whole lot of sneakers.
Given his the way his previous grifts have flopped, that seems unlikely.
Still, it didn’t stop Parkland, FL, shooting survivor David Hogg from having some fun at Trump’s expense:
There’s also the possibility that Trump’s gold sneakers could open him up to yet another lawsuit (yawn….):
A blog dedicated to fashion law claimed that Donald Trump could soon face another lawsuit after he revealed his new signature sneaker line at Sneaker Con at the Philadelphia Convention Center over the weekend.
The former president launched the custom, Trump-branded sneakers on Saturday. The new sneaker line includes the "Never Surrender-High Tops" priced at $399. Only 1,000 pairs of the shoes were made, according to the Trump Sneakers website, and they sold out over the weekend. However, the blog The Fashion Law said renowned shoe designer Christian Louboutin could argue that the former president copped the red-soled design from his trademarked red soles for men and women, although proof of the anticipated lawsuit referenced in the blog is nonexistent.
The idea that Donald Trump would steal a design to make a few bucks isn’t new (or much of a stretch), but it may turn out that his shoe business will be such a small-time flop that a lawsuit would only play into his hands.
It may be a better strategy to ignore the irritant and assume it will go away, which he likely will…right about when he’s convicted of at least one of his crimes and sentenced to jail time.
Besides being fugly, derivative, and ridiculously overpriced, there’s nothing unique about Trump sneakers. They’re clearly an homage to Donny Diaperfull’s massive, unchecked ego, but my guess is that the shoes are of poor quality and would not last long if subjected to any form of hard use. Then again, most of those who buy Trump Sneakers will probably purchase them for the novelty value.
Unsurprisingly, Trump Sneakers didn’t land well with sneakerheads.
The interesting question, of course, is why Trump would consider it a good idea to choose Philadelphia to introduce his sneaker line. If the man knew anything about Philly, he’d know that Eagles fans once booed Santa Claus.
How could he expect not to meet the same fate?
In Philadelphia, the response to the sneakers themselves was tepid at best and hateful at worst. At Sneaker Con, Trump said of the audible boos and groans, “there’s a lot of emotion in this room.”
“Philadelphians would literally boo god,” local author Kim Kelly said in response to a video circulating of the exchange. “(I don’t know) why he thought this would go well for him.”
The negative Philly response aside, there’s more to Trump Sneakers than meets the eye…and that’s not a compliment.
The “Never Surrender High Tops” prove again (as if there was any doubt) that Donald Trump is incapable of anything truly original or ground-breaking. Everything he does is derivative, incorporates stolen ideas, or is itself a rip-off of something that already exists.
The “Never Surrender High Tops,” for example, might look to Trump fans like an homage to Nike’s Air Force One’s from back in the day. In fact, they’re a shameless note-for-note copy of Nike’s first Air Jordan model. Nothing about them is original.
No shoe designer- or any designer- with an ounce of pride would want their name associated with something so obviously derivative. Donald Trump has no sense of originality. He cares only about what he can sell to suckers for a ridiculous price.
And yet the initial run of 1000 units of the “Never Surrender High Top” at $399 per unit sold out almost immediately. It’s crass, insultingly derivative, and a complete rip-off of a Nike shoe from the ‘90s…and the suckers snapped them up like manna from Heaven.
As with so much of the grifting Trump has done, the only thing that will stop him is yet another lawsuit. It’s what happens when you have no dignity and are willing to exploit the work of others for your own finacial benefit.
So what is Trump really selling?
Of all the merch hawked by the former president and current presidential candidate Donald J. Trump and related entities over the past few months — the gold (chocolate) bars, the wines, the superhero NFTs — is any of it more Trumpian than the $399 Never Surrender sneakers unveiled over the weekend at Sneaker Con in Philadelphia? They are like a road map to Mr. Trump’s value system and electoral strategy in sartorial form.
Gilded hightops as shiny as the chandeliers at Mar-a-Lago, they have an American flag wrapping the ankle like the forest of flags that spring up behind Mr. Trump whenever he takes a stage. They have red soles made to match his trademark red ties (and the flag) and perhaps as a sly nod to Christian Louboutins and the semiology of luxury footwear. Also, there’s a large embossed “T” on the side and on the tongue.
While they are “bold, gold and tough, just like President Trump,” according to the Trump sneakers website, allowing potential owners to “be a part of history,” they boast zero technical performance attributes. While they have a shape similar to Nike Air Force 1s (get it? Air Force One!), they are unabashed imitations of the original.
Even if the run of 1000 units indeed sold out at $399 each, they’re not going to be a significant source of income for a Presidential candidate in profound financial difficulty. The initial run would generate only $399,000- not nearly enough to put a dent in the more than a half-BILLION dollars worth of judgments against him.
It’s not about the profits, thought. It’s about something far more important to Donald J. Diaperload.
Like Mr. Trump’s tendency to turn every courtroom appearance into a form of entertainment that can be used as a campaign op, his effort to commoditize his legal jeopardy is a long-term strategic play. In reducing his indictments to a slogan on a consumer good, he is reducing their gravity.
It’s a form of insidious trivialization, the sort of tactic that plays perfectly in the landscape of late-stage capitalism in which everything is a product for sale. Oh, those old federal charges? They’re not serious; they’re a style choice. He’s transforming indictments into accessories, a language everyone speaks. The more product he sells, the more he makes a mockery of his situation. That’s where the real profit lies.
The more he’s able to trivialize his situation, the more he can normalize it. Then, the better able he’ll be to convince the American Sheeple that he’s a far superior candidate than Sleepy Joe Biden.
If he’s able to turn his 91 indictments into more of a circus sideshow than legal proceedings, he stands a chance being able to convince his followers and perhaps enough of the rest of America that the cases against him really are a witch hunt. Once he can do that, it’s a few short steps to convincing America that the cases against him really are just insidious example of election interference on a grand scale.
Even if every rational person in America knows they’re not.
Before you know it, Trump will have his tiny little dictator hand on the Bible on January 20, 2025…and we’ll just a few hours from America’s democracy being dismantled, never to be seen again.
Don’t think it can’t happen. Donald Trump may be dumber than a box of hair, but no one should believe that he isn’t cunning enough to pull this off.
Man, I can hardly wait for the Trump Penis Pumps ©….
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The initial "run" of shoes is not even a slow mosey: no shoes have actually been manufactured yet, and the earliest any will ship is this coming July. (I assume when they say "July" they mean this one and not, say, July 2158.