Twitter Justice- Like Soviet Justice, Only Way More Nonsensical

One person's attempt at humor is another's violent threat...WTF???

I’ve been on Twitter since 2008 and have sent more than 80,000 tweets. The platform temporarily suspended me once previously- in 2020- for reasons that Twitter Support never explained. Twitter reinstated me quickly, but I still maintain that I’ve never done anything to run afoul of Twitter’s rules. So imagine my surprise when the above message showed up in my email on Saturday morning.

It was in response to what I thought was an attempt at humor. I can’t even begin to imagine what went wrong. And while I’m upset over the whole episode, I’m more bemused and shocked than anything.

Below is graphic evidence of my “crime”:

In my mind, it was an attempt at humor, a response to a question posed by someone who in no way supports Ms. Palin and was looking for creative and humorous answers. That, at least, was my assumption based on my understanding of this person’s body of work on Twitter.

Now I find myself wondering who I may have pissed off. Was it @MysterySolvent? A Palin supporter? A Right-wing troll who takes perverse joy in reporting Left-wingers and counting coup when Twitter suspends their accounts? The worst part of it is that I’ll never know. I had no opportunity to face my accuser or state my case to a real person.

It all feels quite surreal and more than a little bit unfair. But then again, it’s social media, where justice is meted out much like the old Soviet Union. What does fairness have to do with anything?

Except that nothing of what I wrote was a violent threat against anyone. Sure, if you look only at my response tweet, it looks terrible, but you’d also be taking the conversation out of context. What I wrote wasn’t a self-contained tweet; it responded to another tweet asking a question. So, no; it wasn’t a violent threat…or a threat of any sort.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m barely a threat to myself, much less anyone else. But, then again, that hardly matters to the faceless droids who police Twitter. To them, I’m someone who issued a violent threat and violated their precious “Community Standards.” Game, set, match.

Good night. Game over. Drive home safely.

My “appeal,” such as they allowed me, was a short email making my case that my tweet was in no way a threat; it was a response and an attempt at humor.

What bothers me are the Right-wing trolls who’ve turned Twitter into their own personal cesspool. For some reason, they have free reign to insult, demean, and degrade those they detest. I attempt to be funny, and I’m suspended permanently for making a “violent threat?” WTF??

Will not being able to post on Twitter degrade the quality of my life? Of course not. On the scale of things I could lose sleep over, losing Twitter “privileges” is pretty far down the list. I can still access the platform in read-only, which will work well enough for me. There are accounts I enjoy reading, and I’ll still be able to do that. The Twittersphere will hardly be poorer for my contributions.

My only wish is that Twitter would exercise a degree of fairness and willingness to allow me a more significant opportunity to make my case. Unfortunately, this episode feels like Soviet justice. Then again, it’s their sandbox, and they can be as fair (or not) as they wish to be.

Could I have stated my joke differently? Sure. Could I have made it seem less “threatening?” Possibly, but my tweet responded to a question. I never imagined it would be a problem.

So, @jack, please accept my sincere wish that you fornicate with the decrepit nag upon which you perambulated to these parts. May the foulest stench attach to thy person for all thy days and render thou the most retched, putrid, and odoriferous company.

And mayest thou fornicate thyself.

Am I being ridiculous? Is this my fault, and I’m too blind to accept responsibility? I don’t think so, but I’m very interested in my readers' opinions. Let me know what you think in the comments- JC

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