United States v. Jesus...I mean, Agolf Shitler...no, I mean, Donald J. Diaperstain
Will Donald Trump become Supreme Omniscient Peerless All-Powerful Superlative Paramount Incomparable Pre-eminent Transcendent Most-Excellent Incomparable Maximum Dictator for Life?
The five Conservative men on the US Supreme Court couldn’t put off hearing Trumple Thinskin’s demand that they give him Absolute Immunity Forever and Ever, Amen © any longer. They finally realized they’d run out of excuses, so they allowed Special Counsel Jack Smith to soil their chambers with his childishly plebeian legal argument that Agolf Shitler isn’t above the law just because he was once President.
After listening to the male Supremes and their questions, the consensus among Those Who Know © was that it seemed more likely than not they would declare Donald J. Diaperload forever free from accountability for ANYTHING. Why? Because…well, because he’s SPESHUL, don’tchaknow?
How do we know this? Because Trumple Thinskin never misses an opportunity to remind us.
[T]he Supreme Court heard arguments in the case of “Donald Trump may be ugly, but he’s Jesus, therefore you can’t hold him accountable for anything he does ever,” vs. “No.” Because the current Supreme Court is largely made up of unqualified partisan Republican hacks sitting in stolen seats, Trump’s lawyers didn’t get laughed out of the Court and sent down the stairs on their asses as dramatically as any patriotic American would have preferred.
Before we look at any of the highlights, consider the scene, though: Trump was not present, because he was in criminal court in New York facing charges on falsifying business records to hide his illegal porn peener payoffs, in order that news of his mistresses might not have a deleterious effect on his 2016 campaign. In Arizona, all his pals were indicted last night for helping him try to steal the 2020 election, and there he is (so far) an unindicted co-conspirator. (Though that simply might be because the Arizona state AG wants to let the Trump felony traffic jam clear a bit before she throws new charges at him.)
And before the Supreme Court, Trump’s lawyers continued to stare the law in the face and say that, as long as Trump is pretty sure he was doing OFFICIAL PRESIDENT DOODIES — not the kind that might smell like they’re falling in his pants in New York as we speak — then it would have been fine for him to have political rivals assassinated. OFFICIALLY.
So, the Supreme males are about to tell us that Donald J. Diaperstain’s shit DOESN’T stink? After all, there are five of them (all Conservative) to five women (all reasonable).
Please don’t make me go there. Just the thought of it makes me nauseous.
It would appear that my dream of one day waking up to a Donald-Trump-free Paradise is rapidly receding into the realm of a pipe dream.
[I]f Democrats don’t start screaming about court-packing starting now, then they’re cowards — the New York Times’s live updates say the “conservative majority seems ready to limit election case against Trump.”
If the Court “limited” the case, would that make it go away? No, not necessarily, but it would likely get kicked back to lower courts to decide more precisely what Trump did to overthrow the Republic FOR OFFICIAL PURPOSES and which things he did extra-presidentially.
Really. And there would certainly be no trial before the election. (Joe Biden, start making lists of what you’d like to do OFFICIALLY.)
That dipshit John Sauer, the one whom appeals court Judge Florence Pan so thoroughly embarrassed when she asked him if it would be fine for a president to order SEAL Team Six to assassinate a political rival, was the one showing his ass today, naturally:
[Sauer] pressed an extreme version of the former president’s argument. In answer to hypothetical questions, he said that presidential orders to murder political rivals or stage a coup could well be subject to immunity.
The good news is that if I were Joe Biden right now, I’d be cutting orders to Seal Team Six to obliterate the entire Trump campaign. After all, if Trump wins Absolute Immunity Forever and Ever, Amen © for himself and his once and future Presidency, that means it will also apply to the current resident of the White House.
Buckel up, kids; that means the 46th President, one Joseph Robinette Biden, can TEAR SHIT UP, BURN SHIT DOWN, AND ORDER POLITICAL ASSASSINATIONS from now until Labor Day and beyond.
It’s called The Law of Unintended Consequences, bitches, and what’s suitable for Agolf Shitler will be good for Sleepy Joe. And if I were Donald J. Trump, I’d watch my back between now and Election Day. There’s a genuine chance he might find a bunker buster busting right up his bunker…if you know what I mean.
And I think you probably do.
This horrible, terrifying, bowel-loosening historical moment is a BFD, and the Supreme Court’s ruling will have implications that will significantly impact not just the current moment but Presidential administrations for years to come. Assuming, of course, that Agolf Shitler doesn’t become Supreme Omniscient Peerless All-Powerful Superlative Paramount Incomparable Pre-eminent Transcendent Most-Excellent Incomparable Maximum Dictator for Life on 1.20.25.
Just the thought of it makes me want to deposit my dinner on my kitchen floor.
(I’m Jesus Christ…and I approved this message.)
But, again, that may not happen if the Supremes grant him Absolute Immunity Forever and Ever, Amen ©. After all, what applies to him will also apply to Joe Biden, who’s a country mile smarter (if not nearly as evil and amoral) than Trump is.
Not only that, but as the current occupant of the White House, Biden has the full faith, credit, and FORCE of the federal government, intelligence apparatus, AND military that he can bring to bear against any adversary- foreign, domestic, OR personal.
I don’t know about you, but I like those odds.
Be careful what you ask for, Donny. You might get what you ask for—and a whole helluva lot more, knowhutimean?
The unbelievable thing about this scenario is how someone so thoroughly craven, cowardly, self-interested, and corrupt has been able to manipulate the American justice system and subjugate it to his interests. How does he do it? Is he smart enough to be the creator of some grand scheme in which he becomes Supreme Omniscient Peerless All-Powerful Superlative Paramount Incomparable Pre-eminent Transcendent Most-Excellent Incomparable Maximum Dictator for Life? One wouldn’t think so by listening to him speak, but maybe he’s got all of us fooled into believing he’s a brain-dead, amoral piece of incompetent human trash.
Maybe he’s just an average, run-of-the-mill piece of incompetent human trash.
The real danger to the country — the real danger to democracy, as I say — is the progressive agenda.
Odd…I would’ve thought that the real danger to democracy, “as I say,” would be shameless Right-wing eunuchs like Bill Barr willing to figuratively get down on their knees before Agolf Shitler and do what they must to remain in the good graces of the would-be Dictator-for-Life.
It wouldn’t be the first time a country has been lulled into a state of numb, knuckle-dragging obedience by an idiot who was just smart enough to know how to manipulate the fears of the masses.
It’s often been said, that we get precisely the quality of leadership we deserve. If you use that as a baseline, Wir sind SEHR gefickt.
Yes, America, we are well and truly fucked. And there appears to be little we can do it about it.
All of my posts are public at this time. Any reader financial support will be greatly appreciated. There’s no paywall blocking access to my work (except for a few newsletters), but that remains an option. I’ll trust my readers to determine if my work is worthy of their financial support and at what level. To those who do offer their support, thank you. It means more than you know.