"Wait — The Entire US Women’s Soccer Team Was Born In Switzerland?"

According to the data, Switzerland is the freest nation on Earth...and Nikki Haley can't stand it

OK, so they’re not singing. Anything else you want to cry about? Like maybe their hairstyles?

Talk, talk, talk: the utter and heartbreaking stupidity of words.

• William Faulkner, Mosquitoes

When a great genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign; that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.

• Jonathan Swift, Abolishing Christianity and Other Essays

Over time, I’ve come to conclude that there’s literally nothing Conservatives won’t lose their shit over. If someone on the Far-Right thinks they can get some mileage and/or score some political points over an “issue,” no matter how silly/pointless/stupid it may be, they’ll probably whine and moan about it. Never mind that no one will have cared about it before or will care after the furor dies down; it’s all about gaining attention (and, hopefully, money).

I’d lose my mind detailing all of the foolish and meaningless shit Conservatives have lost their minds over just in the past year or so, but I hate looking in the rearview mirror at stuff like that. There’s more than enough going on today to drive me around the bend.

The latest faux “controversy” is the US Women’s National Soccer Team “failing” to sing the Star-Spangled Banner prior to their match in the Women’s World Cup against Vietnam. Never mind that singing the national anthem has never been a thing…until now, apparently- but the pearl-clutchers have their magic underwear wadded up like it’s cutting off the blood flow to their tiny brains.

OMG…the stupid is almost tangible, ain’t it??

A few years ago, the Right was up in arms over professional athletes kneeling during the national anthem as a protest against police brutality. Now they are upset about the US women's national soccer team standing during the national anthem but not singing it, which has never actually been a thing anyone is expected to do aside from whoever has been selected to sing the national anthem at a sports game.

Personally, I am of the opinion that “The Star-Spangled Banner” is a ridiculously difficult song to sing well and that practically anyone who is not Aretha Franklin or Whitney Houston should avoid it at all costs. But that is neither here nor there. Some soccer ladies didn’t sing and the conservatives got mad about it and spent all weekend whining about it on social media, as they are wont to do.

Yeah, with Ben Shapiro and so many other “alpha males” pea-brained twits sucking up all the righteous outrage over the “Barbie” movie, what’s a good, God-fearin’, ‘Merican patriot to do?

Well, reasons no one’s explained, some of the pinheads were watching soccer (the peyote hadn’t kicked in yet?). When the camera panned across the USWNT during the national anthem, it was as if you could hear the “EUREKA!!” moment from coast to coast.

THEY’RE NOT SINGING THE NATIONAL FUCKING ANTHEM!!! HOW DARE THEY IMPUGN GOD, FLAG, AND COUNTRY!!! AND THEY’RE PROBABLY ALL LESBIANS!!!

Well, except that’s not at all what they were doing. Singing along with the national anthem prior to a game has NEVER been an expectation. For any team. ANYWHERE. FOR ANY REASON. EVER. Until the screaming ninnies on the Far-Right decided that it would be an expectation for everyone everywhere all the time from that moment on forever.

I want to slap someone….

“I am and always have been a patriot of US sports,” one person calling themselves GreenLantern wrote on Twitter (or now “X,” we guess). “I loved watching the 1980 Men’s U.S. Hockey Team beat Russia. That being said, I won’t shed a tear if the US Women’s Soccer Team gets their ass handed to them. It’s time they learned what (Brittney) Griner did. Humility.”

Seriously? So singing the national anthem is now the new proof of humility and patriotism? I can only speak for myself, but I’d like to hand GreenLantern their ass.

“I stopped rooting for the US women’s team years ago,” HeavenBound.org tweeted. “Gone are the days of real US Women players I could root for like Michelle Akers. If you kneel for the our National Anthem or push the lgbtq cult, you’re not my team anymore. I hope you lose, USA!”

So they love the US, so long as no lesbians are playing soccer. Got it!

“Thank you to the players who were respectful of America!” tweeted some lady named Lisa Raymond. “To those who weren't: go find another country to play for or get out of the sport. Time for the U.S. women's soccer team to have their #BudLight moment. Time for sponsors to stop funding them & pull out.”

So, unless the players are all White Conservative Christian heterosexuals, you have no use for them? No lesbians, bisexuals, or atheists allowed, eh? I hate to break it to HeavenBound.org, but few can meet the high standards you’ve set for others (but not for yourself). I hope you choke on your piety, homophobia, and hypocrisy…and die a lonely, shriveled, and embittered soul.

And what about this paragon of MAGA manhood, who it seems couldn’t even remember the words of The Star-Spangled Banner?

When I’m at an event that plays the national anthem, I stand for it, but I won’t sing. That’s my decision based on my issues and observations I’m not going to get into here. I stand at parade rest with my hands clasped behind my back, and I frankly don’t care what anyone else does. If someone wants to do a naked headstand during the national anthem, then more power to them.

This is a free country, and enforced, rote patriotism is not patriotism. You do you, I’ll do me, and if you cross that line, we’ll have a few problems. Too many believe they have a license to pass judgment on what others do or don’t during the playing of the national anthem when it’s none of their damned business. Each citizen should be allowed to observe it- or not- as they believe appropriate. No one has to like it, and if they don’t, they have one choice- keep their mouth shut. No one wants or needs their opinion, anyway.

I can only speak for myself, but I’m sick to death of people feeling as if they have the inalienable right to judge what others are doing. How about a suggestion? Get- and keep- your own house in order. Then keep your nose out of other people’s business, where it most certainly doesn’t belong.

Ultimately, this is not about the United States of America being disrespected. These people do that all the time. Hell, they trashed the shit out of the Capitol building. This, like everything else they do, is about them feeling disrespected.

Conservatives have just spent the last year or so screaming about how LGBTQ+ people are groomers, demanding they be treated as second-class citizens, pushing for and enacting laws meant to prevent children from finding out LGBTQ+ people even exist, and calling anything that does mention that they exist “hardcore pornography.” So when they see the women’s soccer team — which includes one married couple and is led by an out-and-proud lesbian — not singing the national anthem, they think, “They are doing this because they think we are horrible and they are embarrassed to share a country with us.”

And they’re not wrong. At least about the fact that we think they are horrible and are embarrassed to share a country with them.

A large part of the Right’s anger is that they do not feel they have the social power to which they believe they are entitled. The truest demonstration of this power, as far as they are concerned, is treating people like shit and having them still be hungry for your approval….

This is why they are obsessed with people “bending the knee” to them and with the idea of “owning the libs.” They want a presidential candidate who will help them force the Left and the US women’s soccer team to “bend the knee” to them, and Nikki Haley wants to prove she is the woman for the job.

Unfortunately for Haley, they don’t like her much more than they like us.

“At least about the fact that we think they are horrible and are embarrassed to share a country with them.” Oh, HELL, yes. If I could figure out a way to convince Erin to move to Canada or Norway, you wouldn’t have to worry about the door hitting us in either of our asses. I’d leave America in my rearview mirror so fast it would make y’all’s heads spin.

Sometimes, you have to stand your ground and fight your battles on your home soil.

I AM embarrassed to share a country with such undeservedly self-superior troglodytes. All I want is for them to allow me to be me as I would let them to be them. I’m not asking to be loved or even liked; just stop trying to grind me down under your bootheels. Capice??

That shouldn’t seem like too much to ask. And yet….