Why Did Hunter Biden Get Off Easy While The Former Guy Is Being Persecuted??? WHY???
It's not fair...and Republicans demand to know why- even though they're too blindly partisan and intellectually bereft to understand
If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
George Gobel
If someone asks you a question and you don't know the answer, belittle them. It's better to be an asshole than look stupid.
John LeFevre, Straight to Hell: True Tales of Deviance, Debauchery, and Billion-Dollar Deals
Just as Republicans clung to “BENGHAZI!!” and their myriad investigations that yielded exactly ZERO practical, actionable, or even incriminating information, so it is with their current addiction to and obsession with Hunter Biden. Listen to Republicans like Jim Jordan, James Comer, and others, and you’d think the President’s son is Public Enemy #1. In reality, he’s a man with a serious substance abuse issue who’s spent years trying to turn his life around and has committed some serious f**k-ups along the way.
He’s owned up to his mistakes- hence the settlement with DOJ- and has agreed to be held accountable. That should be enough, right?
Republicans have, despite little evidence, remained concerned that Hunter Biden is a criminal mastermind whose laptop is the source of all that’s evil and unholy.
Republicans have repeated the two-word question ad nauseum in recent years: “Where’s Hunter?” Much of the party has seemed fixated on Hunter Biden, investing an unnerving amount of time focusing on the personal and legal difficulties of the president’s son.
As of Tuesday, however, the “Where’s Hunter?” taunt has an answer: President Joe Biden’s only living son is headed to court, where he’ll accept a plea agreement with a Trump-appointed prosecutor and move forward with his recovery.
Upon learning about the state of the investigation, Republicans en masse thanked the U.S. attorney’s office, expressed satisfaction with the legitimacy of the process, vowed to shift their efforts toward meaningful governing, and celebrated the fact that in the United States, we take the rule of law so seriously that Justice Department officials felt comfortable prosecuting a sitting president’s kid without fear of retribution and without interference from the White House.
And you’d think that would be the end of it, right?
Well, not quite. The GOP reaction was nothing like the above:
No, I’m just kidding. What Republicans actually did was throw a big tantrum, as part of a larger campaign to delegitimize their own country’s justice system.
Prominent GOP voices said the president’s son received a “sweetheart deal.” (He didn’t.) They said the younger Biden would’ve received a harsher penalty were it not for his family connections. (That’s wrong, too.) They said it’s unfair that Donald Trump is facing the possibility of a harsher sentence. (The former president’s alleged crimes are far more serious.) They’ve even suggested there was political interference in the investigation. (The Trump-appointed prosecutor disagreed.)
No, the fixation with Hunter Biden hasn’t waned. It’s grown even more intense with the news that (sadly, if you’re a Republican) the President’s son will not be executed by having a compressed air host shoved up his anus on “Hannity.”
Nothing less than a declaration that Hunter was guilty of the most heinous of crimes is acceptable. The punishment for such malefaction MUST be the most painful, immediate, and public of executions, with no possible avenues for mercy or appeal possible. Hey, he’s the son of a Democratic President that Republicans despise. What room for mercy could there possibly be?
But perhaps most importantly, congressional Republicans assured the political world that they’re not going to shift their focus at all. As a New York Times report summarized:
Congressional Republicans on Tuesday blasted the plea deal Hunter Biden reached with the Justice Department, accusing President Biden of orchestrating a lenient penalty for his son and promising to intensify their investigations of the Biden family.
In other words, what the public can look forward to is several months of GOP lawmakers pursuing a weird conspiracy theory — why would a Trump-appointed prosecutor allow a Democratic president to influence an investigation and not say anything? — while remaining fixated on Biden’s family.
Republicans are convinced that “Biden’s Justice Department” conspired with the White House to ensure Hunter Biden got off easy. Well, the President’s son didn’t get off easy, ya gaggle of immature frickin’ crybabies.
It’s just that DOJ wouldn’t hand you the head of the President’s son on a pike because the punishment didn’t fit the crime.
What Ohio sleazeball Gym Jordan doesn’t realize (or doesn’t care to admit) was that Hunter Biden was willing to own up to his crimes. He wasn’t about to commit seppuku to satisfy the drooling, knuckle-dragging Republican hordes.
Nah, come to think of it, not even ritual suicide would have satisfied the partisan ninnies. They’d have happily seen Hunter Biden’s body pulled into four pieces and left in the west Texas sun for the vultures to pick clean.
sure enough, the howls of outrage started immediately.
oh Gym, you shouty half-dressed buffoon, sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.
Jimmy and all his screech monkey pals were outraged — OUTRAGED — that Hunter was allowed to quietly settle while Dear Leader got indicted and will have to endure a trial.
let us remind these morons: Donald Trump was given numerous opportunities to quietly settle — the Archives and the DOJ repeatedly asked him very nicely to pretty please, just give us back the stolen nuclear secrets, and all would be forgiven.
but no. Donny had to lie and obstruct and dig himself deeper.
Yeah, memo to Jordan and all the other MAGAts still clamoring for the blood of Hunter Biden- trying to lump Hunter Biden with The Former Guy is the mother of false equivalencies. The President’s son had serious substance abuse issues and f****d up bigly while he was messed up. His settlement with DOJ is a reflection of that, something which others in similar circumstances routinely get.
Your Golden Idol is a right f*****g moron who has the right, but not the ability, to remain silent. That’s not Hunter Biden’s fault. If y’all could see through your blind, abject, and utterly irrational hatred of Joe Biden for even a nanosecond, you might realize that The Former Guy is his own worst enemy.
He’s an idiot- an arrogant, ignorant, bloviating, brain-dead moron who thinks he’s smarter than everyone else but is truthfully the dumbest person in any room he occupies.
There’s no way to overstate the lack of intellectual rigor with which The Former Guy has approached his legal travails. To put it simply and in a way even the smartest MAGAts might be able to comprehend, the man’s in deep s**t, and it’s a s**t pile of his own making.
THAT’S why he’s not getting the same sort of deal Hunter Biden did. The President’s son did the right thing, the smart thing, and the best thing for himself and his future.
The Former Guy is too f*****g brain-dead to listen to legal advice from the people he hires to provide him that counsel.
In fact, House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer last night referenced plans to seek testimony from the Trump-appointed U.S. attorney, David Weiss, which is in keeping with the Republicans’ broader embrace of “investigate the investigation” tactics.
All the while, Republicans will almost certainly continue to lie about the available evidence. House GOP Conference Chair Elise Stefanik, for example, condemned the plea deal as the “epitome of the politicization and weaponization of Joe Biden’s Department of Justice.”
To support her partisan attack, the New York Republican pointed to ... nothing.
In other words, The Former Guy is being persecuted because…well, because…uh, because Elise Stefanik and James Comer say so. And because “Joe Biden’s Department of Justice” has been weaponized against Conservatives and supporters of The Former Guy.
Ah, proyecto mucho?
Are Stefanik and Comer (and Jordan and…ad infinitum, ad nauseam….) bleating about the “weaponization” of “Joe Biden’s Department of Justice” because they know that’s precisely what The Former Guy did when he was in the White House? And what he’s promising to do if he (Oh, Good Lord, no….) is elected in November 2024?
So it’s only a wrong, horrible, nasty thing to politicize and weaponize DOJ if you’re a Democratic President? But not nearly so much if you’re a Republican.
OK. I got it.
G*****n, but the creeps are serious f*****g pieces of work. No hypocrisy is a bridge too far for them…ultimately, power is the ONLY thing that matters to them.
Remind me why any thinking person would vote Republican.
Bueller? Bueller??
Perhaps that’s the real problem…any “thinking person.” There are too many Americans who, to be perfectly and brutally frank, are f*****g morons.
And. They. Don’t. Care.
Welcome to our new idiocracy.
Since this was posted, we now have the Brett Baier interview of Jabba-the-Trump on FOX, of all places, where Baier repeatedly fact checked Mussolini's Mini-Me, and the dumb ass effectively confessed to multiple felonies on national TV. I've read several legal experts who say this testimony is admissible in court.