You Can't Fix Stupid...And Not Just Because It Has A Seat In The Texas Legislature
I'll have the aborted fetus burger, medium rare, with steak fries, please
The only victories which leave no regret are those which are gained over ignorance.
Napoleon Bonaparte
So I opened up my MacBook yesterday to find that this gem had been forwarded to me by Stacey Eskelin:
Texas Republican Wants Food Made Of Aborted Fetuses Labeled
I saw that and knew immediately that it would be a very good day. I may have come across this on my own, but it’s good to have friends mining The Stupid on my behalf, knowhutimean?
So, I immediately understood the task that lay before me. The question was whether I could do it justice. When it involves “Texas,” “Republican,” and “stupid,” it’s a pretty high bar. Or a low one, depending on your perspective.
Before we begin, I want to lay down a marker, just so there’s no ambiguity: THERE ARE NO FOOD PRODUCTS IN THE UNITED STATES THAT USE ABORTED FETUSES. NONE. ZERO. ZIP. NADA. NOT A ONE.
For the sake of clarity, let me restate that in a slightly different form:
NO, AMERICANS ARE NOT IN ANY SHAPE, MANNER, OR FORM CONSUMING ABORTED FETUSES. ANYWHERE. EVER. PERIOD. END OF STORY. CAPICE??
(Damn, and I’d been looking forward to trying the aborted fetus burger down at the corner diner….)
Now that we’ve gotten the preliminaries out of the way, let’s consider what sort of Stupid we’re up against here:
AUSTIN, Texas — A Texas Republican wants to make foods containing material from aborted human fetuses “clearly and conspicuously labeled” — even though such products do not exist.
The proposed law, authored by state Sen. Bob Hall, says food and medicine would have to be labeled if it contained or was manufactured with human fetal tissue or if it was the product of research that used such tissue. The bill defines human fetal tissue as “tissue, cells, or organs obtained from an aborted unborn child.”
“Unfortunately, many Texans are unknowingly consuming products that either contain human fetal parts or were developed using human fetal parts,” read a statement from Hall’s office. “While some may not be bothered by this, there are many Texans with religious or moral beliefs that would oppose consumption or use of these products.”
“While some may not be bothered by this?” Sure, because those of us without religious or moral beliefs will eat anything that’s put in front of us as long as it comes with fries and ketchup? WTF? Is Hall really that arrogant and self-superior?
Don’t answer that.
If you’re like me, the idea of food products containing aborted human fetuses seems…distressing. Not only that, it seems like something that would’ve long ago been an issue for anti-abortion Republicans.
So why now?
Before we begin tripping down that rabbit hole, let’s find out where the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) stands on food products containing aborted human fetuses:
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) does not allow the sale of foods containing human tissue.
“There are no conditions under which the FDA would consider human fetal tissue to be safe or legal for human or animal consumption,” an agency spokesperson wrote in an email[.]
That seems pretty unequivocal, no? After all, since cannibalism has long been illegal for health reasons, it would stand to reason that adding aborted fetuses to food products would be considered cannibalism. And cannibalism is a deal-breaker, at least in a legal and moral context.
So why does Bob Hall have his panties in a wad? (And how long has he been snacking on chocolate-flavored lead paint chips?) Other than the fact that he’s a Texas Republican and has a brain and a moral center the size of a walnut, of course.
As is the case with so much mis- and dis-information these days, there’s a tremendous amount of fact-free information floating around on the Internet- specifically (and not surprisingly) on Twitter.
Ask and ye shall receive….
So, let’s go to the fact-checkers, shall we? The question, in this case, is whether aborted fetal tissue is used as a flavor enhancer. So, let’s ignore the “WTF??” nature of the question to go straight to the answer, which is an unequivocal “NO!!”
That we even have to address such a patently ridiculous question indicates the brain-dead state of American culture in the 21st century. Some folks are, for whatever reason(s), predisposed to believing absurd crap like this, even though it doesn’t stand up to the most rudimentary fact-checking.
Though it took me maybe 45 seconds to debunk this misinformation, too many Americans are unwilling to do even that much intellectual heavy lifting. When the prevailing attitude is “If it’s on the Internet, it’s gotta be true,” we’re hosed. And too many of my compatriots appear to be captives of that mindset…as they’re snacking on handfuls of those chocolate lead-based paint chips.
While it would be easy to pass all of this off as a poorly-though-out conspiracy theory, it’s anything but. This isn’t the fever-dream ramblings of someone in his mother’s basement wearing pajamas and a tinfoil helmet (though he could, I suppose, be wearing those things). Instead, it represents a movement that has determined 2+2=7 and twisted the available information to prove its theory.
Rep. Hall isn’t the first Republican to introduce legislation to outlaw a problem that doesn’t, never has, and almost certainly never will exist.
An Oklahoma Republican filed a similar bill, which would have banned food made from aborted fetuses, in 2012, but the legislature did not pass it.
“I don’t know if it is happening in Oklahoma, it may be, it may not be,” Oklahoma state Sen. Ralph Shortey, the bill’s author, said at the time. “What I am saying is that if it does happen, then we are not going to allow it to manufacture here.”
So, we’re acknowledging that no food products currently produced contain aborted fetuses, but when that happens- AND IT WILL- we’ll be armed with legislation that will prevent it from happening here.
But what food company would bring food products to market containing aborted fetuses? Given the moral outcry that was generated by using cell lines created from aborted fetal tissues for scientific research, the idea of using such tissue in food products is unthinkable.
Never mind that such usage would qualify as cannibalism and would be illegal, anyway.
Anti-abortion groups — most notably Children of God For Life — have often called for boycotts of companies like Neucutis and Senomyx over their use of HEK 293 cells in research and development.
The HEK 293 cell line originally traces back to kidney cells obtained from either an abortion or miscarriage in the 1970s, according to Reuters. The cells have been used hundreds of thousands of times over the last half-century.
Neucutis acknowledged using the cell line to develop a skincare product. In addition, Senomyx used the cells to conduct millions of tests on flavor enhancers used in its products without using human taste testers, according to CBS News.
Amazing how a little bit of accurate information can be twisted into something evil by those with a sinister agenda, isn’t it?
Here we are, a full 11 years after the original Oklahoma bill was introduced, and the issue rises again, this time in the Texas legislature.
So, let’s review for those of you who might’ve joined us late:
aborted fetuses are not permitted to be used in food products
aborted fetuses are not used as flavor enhancers by Wendys, Pepsi, or any other food conglomerate
using aborted fetuses in food products would constitute cannibalism, which has long been illegal in this country
Rep. Bob Hall’s bill addresses a problem that doesn’t, and almost certainly never will, exist
Despite what misinformation @RAWEGGNATIONALIST and others may be pushing, they’re selling lies and propaganda to the gullible and the undiscerning. Because when you get down to it, it’s about dollars and cents. Those who traffic in mis- and disinformation are invested in monetizing lies and propaganda. They know the truth- unless they’re so far gone that they’ve swallowed their own KoolAid.
I don’t care to dig any further because I have no need to learn more than I already have, but the truth will not set these people free. I’m not sure what will, but they’re franchising misinformation. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that there was a significant QAnon involvement somewhere down the line.
There are times when I fear for the future of humanity, when it seems as if we’re a hair’s breadth from becoming the set from Idiocracy.
This is one of those times.
