"You Won't Break My Soul"
In a world where ageism and misogyny never grow old, Madonna gets caught in the crossfire...and Honey Badger don't give a %$#@
After another few days, I noticed I became annoyed whenever I would actually have to ask Asshole for something. How quickly the creepy becomes commonplace.
John Scalzi, Old Man's War
It takes just as much energy to be an asshole as it does to be kind.
LeVar Burton
One of the graceless things we Americans are often guilty of is refusing to allow those we idolize to age- whether gracefully or somewhat less so. Aging must be fought and conquered whether a person ages as Nature intended or fights the sands of the hourglass using cosmetic medicine.
But what happens when someone ages in a way that we can’t process, that doesn’t fit with our preconceived notions of what seems “natural?” Do we have the right to weigh in with our opinion on how that person looks? Should our take on their appearance and their aging carry any weight? Or should we just STFU and keep our thoughts to ourselves?
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Granted, I didn’t watch the Grammys (I never watch award shows; I don’t believe art is or should be a competition), so I’ve only seen a few pictures of Madonna’s “new” face. Frankly, I don’t care what she looks like. You go, girl- you do you.
A lot of people aren’t burdened by a self-editor, though. They feel perfectly able to introduce their unsolicited opinion into the public domain, whether that public wants it or not.
Madonna's appearance at the 2023 Grammys, where she served as a presenter, led some commenters on the internet to focus too much on her appearance and make hateful comments about her “new face.” But the 64-year-old singer took to her Instagram to call out that chatter for exactly what it is: another example of the “ageism and misogyny that permeates the world we live in, a world that refuses to celebrate women past the age of 45,” she wrote.
She shared her feelings taking it all in and how she was disappointed that some people missed the bigger point of what she was doing on the Grammys stage: celebrating Kim Petras and Sam Smith's work.
I’ve never understood it, but there’s something about becoming a celebrity that allegedly means one gives up the right to expect to be respected once one becomes a public figure. This is especially true if you’re a woman- your age, weight, hair, face, make-up, wardrobe, sex life- everything becomes fair game for those who find sport in critiquing celebrities.
Never mind, of course, that many of the critics are themselves not exactly God’s gift to anything or anyone. Then again, self-awareness has never been a prerequisite for judging others.
You’re free to your opinion of what Madonna looks like today. After all, she’s made a career off her looks since- what, the late 80s? She’s commoditized herself, so she knew to what she was potentially exposing herself.
But that doesn’t mean anyone is free to broadcast their (generally negative) opinion over the Internet, for a couple of good reasons.
No one gives a damn what (5’ 9” 375-lb. monument to beer drinking) Jerry Boomhower of East Bumfuck, AR, thinks about Madonna’s appearance. Maybe when you show Madonna’s level of commitment to fitness over the years…but, nah, probably not even then.
Why would anyone think spreading their ageism and misogyny could accomplish anything positive? Does this world need the sage observation of another person who only feels good about themselves when they tear someone else down? How deeply pathetic is that?
Not that Madonna’s self-image revolved around the reviews she received from the ageists, misogynists, and assholes who felt moved to weigh in on her “new face.” In her 64 years, she’s faced her share of negative bullshit. This was merely one more inconsequential episode.
Honey Badger don’t give a %$#@.
It’s true; we live in a world with little use for women over 45, and that’s sad. Unfortunately, the impetus of society (particularly Madison Avenue) to punish and devalue experienced women misses the best of what a large segment of Mankind has to offer.
There are few aspects of life that women can’t handle every bit as well as men. Women, at least from my experience, can be tougher, less prone to “HOLD MY BEER!” moments, and open to alternative viewpoints.
Some of my best work experiences have been in groups led by a woman. There’s less testosterone in play and less need to (figuratively) throw their weight around. Granted, this is one person's experience, and I’m trying not to generalize, but what society does to women is a colossal over-generalization. Marginalizing an entire demographic because of age and the perception of diminished sexual desirability demeans all of us.
Because that’s what this is all about, isn’t it- who wants to fuck a woman over 45? Companies don’t want to use sex to sell their products with an older woman because…well, no one’s going to want to fantasize about fucking that woman, which means no one will buy them. It’s stupid, infantile, and it’s Advertising 101.
The Outrage Industrial Complex is the only reason companies don’t have naked 19-year-old models straddling their products. If they could get away with that model simulating fellatio on a 2024 Lexus, you can bet they would.
But who wants to see a naked 50-year-old woman doing that, right?
We’re socialized to believe that women come with “sell-by” dates- men become “distinguished,” but women “grow old.” Older men rule the world, but older women are used up and of no consequence or value.
The truth, of course, is quite different. Look at almost any family, and who’s doing the heavy lifting? In most cases, it’s the woman- and that continues even as children grow up, leave home, and begin their own lives. Men contribute, of course, but women are often the glue that holds families together. Is it Nature, nurture, or necessity? I suppose that varies by family and situation, but my point remains the same; women hold the world together, most often behind the scenes, which is why they don’t receive the credit they deserve.
Of course, we’re all free to our opinion of Madonna’s physical appearance. It’s a free country, and we all know what opinions are like. And Madonna is free to recognize that all those opinions are utterly worthless when it comes to her doing what she does. While I’ve never been a big fan, I admire her willingness to ignore the noise and go about her business without discretion or prejudice.
I also admire that her “give-a-fuck” has been broken since the mid-80s. She’s pissed off many people along the way, which is terrific. More of us should be willing to offend. This world would be far more interesting if fewer of us cared what others thought.
Of course, there are always those who feel it’s their place to weigh in on public figures as if they’re the self-appointed arbiters regarding the fashion choices and mental/physical health of celebrities. That it’s none of their damned business seems not to occur to them because they love public attention- though they lack the self-awareness to recognize it.
In this case, I’m referring to Megyn Kelly, a genuinely awful and self-absorbed person who believes it’s her right and responsibility to pass judgment on others.
Madonna’s appearance at the Grammy Awards ceremony in Los Angeles on Sunday has Megyn Kelly concerned for her health and well-being.
The SiriusXM podcast host of “The Megyn Kelly Show” said on Tuesday that the 64-year-old pop star is “unwell” and is suffering from a “sickness” after observers said the singer was unrecognizable due to cosmetic surgery.
“I’m sorry but this is a sickness,” Kelly said during her broadcast Tuesday.
“This is an unwell person who we featured at the Grammys the other night, and I don’t know if it says more about her, about our society, or about celebrity, but it’s disturbing me at the core.”
Kelly, 52, who has admitted in the past to getting minor Botox procedures to give herself a more youthful look, said she has no plans to alter her appearance to the extent to which Madonna has apparently done.
Oh, Heavens, no; I would NEVER do it as excessively as SHE did it….
“I really hope that I would be in a better place [when I get to my 60s],” the former Fox News and NBC star said.
“I’d like to think when I’m 64, I’m not going to give a s–t what people think about the way I look or my age.”
Kelly added: “I’m just going to be like full-fledged effing me. This tells me she’s a sick person who needs some help.”
Right, because Megyn Kelly is SO much more mature and on top of her game.
How about you do you, girl- and STFU. You have nothing of value to add here. Your opinion is worthless.
Not that Madonna cares what a washed-up Conservative wannabe cultural touchstone thinks about anything.
Madonna- and every other woman- deserves to be able to age as they see fit. If Megyn Kelly- or any other busybody- doesn’t like it, they can stuff it. They’re free to their opinions, but we all know what opinions are like. And they’re worth about as much.
Ageism- and the repressive opinions that accompany it- sucks.
I may not have always been a fan of Madonna’s music, but how could I not admire someone willing to do her own thing and let others worry about being offended?
Honey Badger don’t give a %$#@. And there’s no reason she should.
