"Don’t you know who I am?" "Yes, we do."

"This is, after all, the congresswoman who suggested that a Muslim colleague was a suicide bomber." She's human trash and built to stay that way.

Use that fluff of yours you call a brain.

• Agatha Christie, A Murder Is Announced

Your arrogance doesn't cheapen me.

• Toba Beta, Master of Stupidity

There’s never been any doubt about who the trailer-trash Congresswoman from Rifle, CO, is. There’s no doubt because she’s made it crystal clear from Day One. She’s never had any interest in playing by the rules. She didn’t want to play nice. No, she was in Washington to break things and burn things down. It wasn’t about representing her constituents, writing legislation, or collaborating to make America a better place. She was there to create chaos because she didn’t know how the government worked and wasn’t smart or patient enough to figure it out.

For Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO), it was all God, guns, and Trump, 24/7/365. She wasn’t particularly concerned that some folks didn’t like it because she had no interest in manners, being friendly, or considering the feelings of others. She quickly established herself on Capitol Hill as a sociopathic, uneducated bimbo who didn’t know much and didn’t care to learn. Eager to throw herself in front of any camera or microphone she saw, Rep. Boebert quickly developed a reputation as a show pony, a hot dog who was all hat and no cattle.

(Is groping in public a “public sex act?” Asking for a friend.)

She didn’t know much, but she didn’t mind displaying her ignorance for all to see because she was all about guns, God, and Trump. Anything done in the service of that triumvirate was OK by her. That she became a laughing stock from Maine to California bothered not in the slightest.

She’s about as real as a $3 bill and as trustworthy as Joe Isuzu (Google it, kids). During her time in Congress, Rep. Boebert has become so convinced of her own brilliance that she’s become a poster girl for the Dunning-Kruger Effect (not that she could tell us what that means).

So dense and intellectually vacant is she that it hardly came as a surprise to see this:

And the description accompanying the photo is even more apt:

It may sound like an insensitive statement, but the cold hard truth is that there are a lot of stupid people in the world, and their stupidity presents a constant danger to others. Some of these people are in positions of power, and some of them have been elected to run our country. A far greater number of them do not have positions of power, but they still have the power to vote, and the power to spread their ideas….

It is often said that “you can’t fix stupid,” but that is not exactly true. By becoming aware of the limitations of our natural intelligence or our ignorance, we can adjust our reasoning, behavior, and decision-making to account for our intellectual shortcomings.

No, when it comes to Lauren Boebert, comedian Ron White was spot on. You can’t fix stupid.

Unfortunately for Rep. Boebert, fixing stupid requires at least a minimal degree of self-awareness and the ability to be honest with oneself. Lauren Boebert believes herself to be God’s gift to Conservative America…or, frankly, America in general.

Judging by the behavior that got her kicked out of a Denver theater, she neither knows nor cares how her behavior impacts others- classic sociopathic behavior. What made the episode even worse was how she initially lied her ass off, and her campaign followed suit. Once the security footage and witness statements came out, she modified her “truth” slightly, but she was still trying to massage the facts to place herself in the best possible light.

None of it worked. By this time, we all know who Lauren Boebert is.

If she had just owned up to the truth of the matter, the whole episode might have blown over pretty quickly. Her lying and continuing to massage the truth only made things worse for her.

Then, when the press caught up with her at an airport, she acted as if her outing had been a first date, and she had NO idea that her paramour was a Democrat. Given how they were pawing each other in the theater, it was difficult to believe they were on a first date, much less that she didn’t know he was a Democrat. Not that his party affiliation should’ve mattered, but she proudly told the assembled press that she’d dumped her Democrat boyfriend’s ass. And no one was surprised…because, as is true with sociopaths, Lauren Boebert is all about Lauren Boebert.

When she demanded of the ushers at the Denver theater, “Do you know who I am?” the answer should’ve been clear for all of us.

Yes, Congresswoman. We know who you are. We’ve known who you are since the first day you set foot on the floor of the House of Representatives and decided to help turn it into a three-ring circus. You’re an uncouth, uncivilized, uneducated, impolite, self-absorbed, asshole sociopath who cares about one thing- “What’s best for Lauren Boebert?”

Of course, she tried to laugh the whole episode off: “It’s always hard whenever there’s gravity put on the voters; I’m here to provide levity.” Except that every time she opens her mouth on the subject of her behavior, she seems to make it worse. If she’s embarrassed, she should own up to it. I think people can understand a lapse of judgment or poor behavior. Own it, apologize for it, promise to do better, and move on.

Unfortunately for Rep. Boebert, she doesn’t seem to be taking the matter seriously- and it should be taken very seriously. A member of Congress engaged in an egregious breach of decorum in a public setting? That should not be taken lightly; people have every right to expect better from a Congressperson.

Boebert ended the interview saying that her romance with Quinn was not over because of anything in the news, but because “he’s a private citizen,” and that they have “peacefully parted at this time.” Good to know they reached a peace agreement.

Which may conflict with how she said five seconds earlier, “Well, TMZ, I’m pretty sure you told the world I went on a date with a Democrat!”

Oh well.

In other news, Boebert’s name has suddenly mysteriously disappeared from the roster of speakers for the Texas Youth Summit, some Jesus idiot right-wing confab for Jesus idiot right-wing teenagers.

Is she not a good role model anymore? If not, why not? Please explain in detail what has changed in the past week.

Was it the vaping? It must have been the vaping.

Yeah, that must be it. That and the singing, her obnoxious behavior, and the mutual groping she and her date engaged in. But the vaping probably pushed it all over the edge, right?

Making matters even worse for Boebert is that she’s facing a very competitive re-election race against an opponent she beat by only 600 votes last November. Her opponent has raised more money than Boebert has, and while it’s far too early to tell, he’s a better-than-even-money bet to unseat Boebert in November 2024.

Maybe because he doesn’t vape? Or perhaps it could be that Lauren Boebert is the worst sort of ignorant trailer trash masquerading as a Congressperson.

I’m going to take door number two, Bob….

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