Floriduh Republican Hopeful Invents New Reason To Hate Gays- RAINBOWS!!!!

Yeah, if it wasn't for toxic masculinity, they'd have no masculinity at all

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.

• Jack Handey

Once upon a time, in a much simpler world, rainbows were seen as good things- you know, with pots of gold and such at the end of them. They were the things that dumbass kids like me wanted to chase because when our parents told us about the pots of gold, we were dumb enough to believe them. I never caught the end of a rainbow, of course, but the sense of wonder didn’t leave me until I was, oh, I don’t know…maybe 32? By then, I was divorced, cynical and my give-a-fuck was broken.

Rainbows were cool, especially once I learned about the refractive process that produced them. It was something my not particularly scientific brain could wrap itself around. As a history major and a writer, that’s about as scientific as I get (which makes being married to a nurse practitioner kinda frustrating at times).

Even when the rainbow became the symbol of the LGBTQ community, I never saw anything sinister about it. Rainbows are inclusive; it takes a number of colors to make one, and it’s the perfect symbol of a community that wants to gather people within it.

It never dawned on me that there were holier-than-thou groups who were mightily offended that they no longer had exclusive “rights” to the rainbow. They didn’t necessarily know what they wanted to do with the rainbow, but they sure as Hell didn’t want a buncha gays staking claim to it. And so now we have people like Anthony Sabatini, who has his panties in a bunch because Teh Gayz apparently “own” The Rainbow.

Has he talked to the US Patent Office? I wasn’t aware the LGBTQ community had patented or copyrighted The Rainbow ©.

Now he’s mad as Hell and not going to take it any more!!

On Friday, activist Lauren Windsor shared a video to Twitter of Anthony Sabatini, the chairman of the Lake County (Florida, natch) Republicans who is currently running for Congress, giving a truly bizarre speech about how Pride month and rainbows are “anti-Christian hate speech.” Because it’s anti-Christian for LGBTQ+ people either to exist or to not hate themselves.

Apparently, at least according to Sabatini and other mullahs from the American Taliban, the mere existence of LGBTQ people who draw breath or fail to engage in a sufficient degree of self-loathing is ipso facto “anti-Christian hate speech.”

At this point, of course, one might ask oneself if Sabatini could possibly be so arrogant, self-righteous, and self-superior. The answer is that he’s a card-carrying member of the American Taliban; OF COURSE, he can! The American Taliban is a highly entertaining collecting of self-righteous assholes with a special gift for self-parody and an astonishing lack of self-awareness.

To assume that Pride Month and the rainbow has anything at all to do with Christianity, much less hating it, requires an almost unsustainable degree of ignorance and arrogance. Anthony Sabatini is, without a doubt, quite capable of sustaining both.

Even worse, Sabatini has no plans to take prisoners.

“What can we do about Pride Month? Right? Because a lot of people are like ‘Well, it’s annoying, it’s annoying that there’s a Pride month, but there’s really nothing we can do.’

“Or worse, more impotently, I hear people say ‘I just don’t shop during Pride Month. You know. I just don’t shop. I should just avoid that.’ Right.

“And this is the historic defense mindset of the Republican Party, which is avoid, defend, deflect, walk away, ignore. And we can’t do that anymore. We have to end Pride Month, Okay?

“We have to crush Pride Month. It has to go away. And I know what you’re thinking. ‘Well it’s like private sector, private sector business.’

“‘I learned in my 1980s sort of neocon Heritage Guide that private sector businesses can do whatever they want. We’re not supposed to do anything on that. We’re just supposed to ignore that.’ No, no, no, no, no. 

“It’s time to crush Pride Month and the businesses that promote that toxic anti-American garbage.”

This is a Republican candidate for Congress, a man who clearly prides himself on his “Christian” faith, and who’s running on a platform of pure, unadulterated anti-gay hatred.

My first question, of course, would be to wonder what he’s so afraid of? What is it about the LGBTQ community that makes Sabatini so angry? Is he secretly fearful or insecure about his sexuality? Does his hatefulness make him feel as if he’s standing up against a part of himself he can’t bear to acknowledge?

Perhaps Mr. Sabatini could use his teddy bear to show us where the bad man touched him? Hmm?

And what part of his Christianity allows him to be so hateful toward human beings who mean no harm to anyone? As a whole, the LGBTQ community focuses on projecting love and non-violence toward the cisgender community. And they certainly don’t employ Pride month or rainbows as “anti-Christian hate speech.” In most cases, they’re profoundly indifferent toward the American Taliban.

Neither is there anything about Pride Month that makes it “toxic anti-American garbage.” Methinks it may be possible that Sabatini is using his Christian nationalism and homophobia to camouflage the truth. And that truth is that he has nothing of substance to offer his constituents AND he’s secretly intensely insecure about his sexuality.

As a big “Fuck You!” and to demonstrate to Anthony Sabatini that the American Taliban doesn’t own the copyright on rainbows, here’s Kermit the Frog performing “Rainbow Connection.”

I hope it makes Sabatini’s ears bleed.

For reasons only uptight Christians can explain, rainbows seem to be a particularly sore subject.

Why, you ask? Who knows? Who cares? A rainbow is a rather benign optical phenomenon that has become a symbol of unity and inclusiveness. It belongs to no one; everyone’s free to use it. As far as I’ve been able to discern, no person or group had yet patented or copyrighted The Rainbow ©.

For some reason, there are a number of uptight asshole Christians convinced that the “rights” to the rainbow were given to them exclusively by Almighty God. Because of that, they don’t want to share it with anyone, ESPECIALLY the LGBTQ community.

But [Anthony Sabatini]’s not the only one who is afraid of Rainbows. The Wisconsin teacher who was told that her elementary school students would not be allowed to sing a Miley Cyrus/Dolly Parton song called “Rainbowland,” about a utopian land where everyone is happy and can be themselves, because rainbows are “controversial,” was fired this week on the grounds that posting about it on social media made the school look bad. Which, you know, it was.

"Ms. Tempel deliberately brought negative attention to the school district because she disagreed with the decision as opposed to following protocol and procedure and I believe that behavior is intolerable," Waukesha School District Superintendent James Sebert, who has been accused by the Alliance for Education in Waukesha of a pattern of discriminating against LGBTQ+ students, said at the hearing.

So far this year, there have been zero reports of anyone actually being murdered by a rainbow.

Rainbows are “controversial?” In what world? If you listen to the song, there’s absolutely nothing that could be interpreted as even remotely contentious. A “utopian land where everyone is happy and can be themselves?” Seriously? Who could possibly find that controversial?

As if we didn’t already know the answer….

And here’s The Chicks covering “Rainbowland” because they have the horrible, awful, nasty, incriminating lyrics:

We are rainbows, me and you

Every color, me and you

Let’s shine through

Together we can

Start living in a rainbowland

THAT’S what school officials in Wisconsin are losing their shit over? Surely, these people can’t be serious?

Yes, they most certainly are…and don’t call me Shirley.

Yeah, you want to be careful writing about rainbows, because you never know who’s going to start interpreting them as being about inclusion, kindness, or other positive shit like that, knowhutimean? I mean, what message will that send to our precious snowflakes?

Uh…maybe that being kind to one another is a good thing? Seriously, what kind of hateful, twisted moron gets themselves in a lather because of “a utopian land where everyone is happy and can be themselves?” How could that be interpreted as something even remotely controversial?

Well, you start teaching kids about happiness and being themselves and the next thing you know they’re deciding they’re gay or transgender…or cats and demanding litter boxes in their schools so they may relieve themselves.

IT’S NOT NORMAL!!!

Boys schtup girls…ONLY in the missionary position…and ONLY for purposes of recreation, I mean PROcreation! Got that? Good, because I’m not going to go over it again. Someone might get excited and need a cold shower.

Jeebus, y’all…we’re talking about people singing about rainbows. Do you have any idea how stupid and uptight you sound getting yourself all worked up over fucking rainbows?

(No, I’m not talking about actually fucking rainbows…that’s an adjective; at least I think it is. I’m trying to make a point here. Besides, you can’t actually…oh, never mind….)

Shouldn’t you be worrying about something that might actually happen- like a Presidential candidate who’s planning to literally destroy American democracy if he’s elected (again) in 2024? Don’t you think THAT’S something worth paying attention to…or are you still planning to lose your shit over rainbows?

Whatever. Knock yourself out, eh?

Oh…if you need me, I’m a mile down the road…in your fucking shoes! Good luck trying to catch me barefoot!!