Litter Boxes In Schools- An Idea Whose Time Has Come, Part Five
Litter Boxes In Schools- An Idea Whose Time Has Come, Part Five
OMG, just when I thought I was done with this s**t; it's like a boomerang
On today’s episode of “The Stupid: It Keeps On Giving…and Giving…and Giving,” we meet GOP Senate candidate Don Bolduc, an aggressively ignorant and empty-headed soul. I’m not convinced I can do justice to depth and breadth of Stupid in play in New Hampshire, but I’ll do my best.
Bolduc, who’s been endorsed by former Congresscritter Felicia Q. Turncoat Tulsi Gabbard (and whose standards are lower than a snake’s belly), seems to have the mental agility of a box of hammers. I say this because he’s absolutely convinced that a school in New Hampshire is providing litter boxes to students who identify as cats. They aren’t, of course, but come on down and be baptized in the River Stupid, won’t you??
I thought I was done with this story, but this is now my fifth go-round, and I’m done telling myself it’s buried because it keeps coming back from the dead. Just when I thought I’ve finally administered the coup de grace and administered last rites, it comes back from the undead.
These dumbass Republicans, when people start making fun of them for making up shit about kids becoming furries and demanding to use litterboxes at school, hoo boy do they get mad.
Don Bolduc, he is the very dumbstupid MAGA idiot running to be the Republican senator from New Hampshire. There are polls that show him frighteningly close to incumbent Democratic Senator Maggie Hassan. Which is appalling, because just this past week Bolduc fell for the litterbox hoax, easily the stupidest and most obvious hoax in the history of all humankind. (Joe Rogan just today admitted he was duped by it. Bless his heart.)
Yeah, when even Joe Rogan, not exactly the sharpest tool in the box, finally admits that he was taken in by an urban myth, you might have to begin believing it was a hoax, knowhutimean?
You mean it took all these months for good, God-fearing, public-school-edumicated ‘Mericans to finally figger out that the “litter boxes in schools” story might not have been true? Wow, who’s the valedictorian now?
Oh, he was indignant. As all moron Republicans do, he claimed he had been personally hearing from parents, who have been telling him tales of children becoming furries at school and using litterboxes. He said there were also "fuzzies," so this telephone game Republicans are playing with each other is getting, um, fuzzier.
He said kids are "MEOWING DURING TESTS!"
He said they lick themselves.
He said they hissssssss.
He said he wished he was making it up. :(
Oh God, he was mad. And he named a school called Pinkerton Academy in Derry, New Hampshire, which then had to — as all schools must do now, we suppose — release a statement saying that no, the children there are not using litterboxes.
NBC News asked Bolduc about it, and good lord did he get his back up. (Like cat! Maybe he is the REAL FURRY, SEE ABOVE, MUST CREDIT WONKETTE.)
He is STICKIN' TO HIS STORY!
Bolduc may be sticking to his story, but that doesn’t make it any more correct. Like any good conspiracy theory, this silliness has spread all over the country. In my last iteration of this ridiculousness, a candidate for Governor in COLORADO was hyping it. It’s not true in Colorado, it’s not true in New Hampshire, and it’s not true anywhere else.
In Colorado, it was determined that the cat litter was for use in the event of a mass shooting. If children were locked down for a long period of time in a classroom, at least they’d have some way to eliminate waste without using the floor. It had nothing to do with children identifying as felines.
If students were identifying as cats, why not include a 50-lb. bag of Friskies dry food along with the cat litter?
In the clip above, Bolduc first says that he DID NOT say kids are using litterboxes at school. (He absolutely did.) But he immediately added that he'd had a parent AND a student who "came up to me and told me all about it." He said he's "had that all across the state." Just parents and kids coming up to him at every event and telling him their stories of elementary school litterboxes and the furries who use them.
"Craziness is going on in our schools. Senator Hassan is responsible for it," he said.
Senator [Maggie] Hassan is responsible? For what? Bolduc’s hallucinations? His delusions of grandeur? His willingness to make shit up and pretend as if it’s the worst thing since the 1939 War of the Worlds broadcast?
Why not blame Sen. Hassan for the Lindbergh kidnapping? Or the attack on Pearl Harbor? What about the Rape of Nanking? We don’t know that she WASN’T involved, right??
Well, there ya go, Ace.
Then after some yapping about kids not being prepared, the journalist clarified that Bolduc's story is that a parent and a student told him litterbox horror stories, and told Bolduc the school he named had denied it. Which led Bolduc into this babbling rant:
"Well, you know, they came out and said they didn't mask children! They came out and said they didn't do a lot of things! They don't teach CRT, which they do! They don't teach transgender, which they do!
"I'M NOT BACKIN' DOWN! OK? YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY!
"Just because they say it, they need to prove it! Prove it! I've got parents and kids telling me, they need to prove it to us, I don't need to prove it to them."
Right, just because I’m wrong and I have NO idea what I’m talking about, that shouldn’t be taken as an indication that I’m going to back down. No sir!! I stand up for what I know, and what I don’t know I stand up even stronger for! Because I’m not some wishy-washy, weak-kneed, pussified Librul, if you know what I mean. I stand up for what I believe, even if it’s not close to being true.
Because Don Bolduc KNOWS….
PROVE IT! DON BOLDUC AIN'T BACKIN' DOWN! PROVE YOU'RE DOIN' YOUR BUSINESS IN THE REGULAR BATHROOM AND NOT IN THE LITTERBOX!
I don’t know how schools are supposed to prove to Bolduc that they’re AREN’T handing out litter boxes to students. Disproving a negative is not normally a great way to handle a discussion or disagreement, but Bolduc, a former Army brigadier general is used to dictating terms and being obeyed.
In this case, though, he doesn’t get to dictate terms. If a candidate makes an accusation, he’s expected to provide evidence to prove his case- put up or shut up. But I get the impression shutting up isn’t part of Bolduc’s DNA. He’s used to steamrolling people to get what he wants, even if the truth is not what he wants to hear.
Incredibly, the last three polls have shown that Bolduc and incumbent Sen. Maggie Hassan are engaged in a very tight race. Yes, as is true in most of the rest of the country, voters as a group are incredibly stupid, and there appears to be no cure on the horizon.
Democracy should not be the province of the dense, ill-informed, and highly propagandized…and yet here we are.
And people wonder why some of us fear for the future of American democracy….
