A scientific investigation into brain size and brain activity has yielded done interesting (if not surprising) results:
DEMOCRAT/ LIBERAL BRAIN –
Normal sized, fully formed, with most synapses firing properly. Both sides of the brain work together, often resulting in creative or artistic tendencies in the individual. Empathic area of the brain somewhat larger than in other brains investigated.
STANDARD REPUPLICAN/ CONSERVATIVE BRAIN –
Similar in most regards to the Democratic brain, although the “empathy” and “humor” areas are stunted, and do not seem to work well. It is also noted that the “critical thinking” portion of the brain is rather smaller than that observed in the Democratic brain, and while both sides of the brain work together, there is less tendency toward creativity or artistic expression vs. the Democratic brain.
TRUMPIAN/ MAGA BRAIN –
This third type of brain studied bore almost no relation to the counterparts noted above. This brain is approximately half the size of others tested, and virtually every example studied showed signs of corrosion or rot. There are virtually no empathic or humor centers in such brains. The small “creative center” of the brain is practically hardwired into the stunted “emotional” center, thus any art produced by individuals with this type of brain tends to be sophomoric and generally unimaginative. In the area where was found “critical thinking” in other brains, there is a previously unknown tumor-like space, which scientists are finding works as a center for introducing propaganda, conspiracy theories, and gullibility into daily thought. While some researchers have called this new center a “disease” and have lobbied to have it surgically removed for the benefit of the individual, most doctors are waiting for more data on this anomaly before weighing in. Research on this area continues.
My "Onion" report:
A scientific investigation into brain size and brain activity has yielded done interesting (if not surprising) results:
DEMOCRAT/ LIBERAL BRAIN –
Normal sized, fully formed, with most synapses firing properly. Both sides of the brain work together, often resulting in creative or artistic tendencies in the individual. Empathic area of the brain somewhat larger than in other brains investigated.
STANDARD REPUPLICAN/ CONSERVATIVE BRAIN –
Similar in most regards to the Democratic brain, although the “empathy” and “humor” areas are stunted, and do not seem to work well. It is also noted that the “critical thinking” portion of the brain is rather smaller than that observed in the Democratic brain, and while both sides of the brain work together, there is less tendency toward creativity or artistic expression vs. the Democratic brain.
TRUMPIAN/ MAGA BRAIN –
This third type of brain studied bore almost no relation to the counterparts noted above. This brain is approximately half the size of others tested, and virtually every example studied showed signs of corrosion or rot. There are virtually no empathic or humor centers in such brains. The small “creative center” of the brain is practically hardwired into the stunted “emotional” center, thus any art produced by individuals with this type of brain tends to be sophomoric and generally unimaginative. In the area where was found “critical thinking” in other brains, there is a previously unknown tumor-like space, which scientists are finding works as a center for introducing propaganda, conspiracy theories, and gullibility into daily thought. While some researchers have called this new center a “disease” and have lobbied to have it surgically removed for the benefit of the individual, most doctors are waiting for more data on this anomaly before weighing in. Research on this area continues.