God hates us and wishes we would eat a bag of dicks (the MUGA mix)

Make Ukraine Great Again? I don't know about you, but I kinda like the sound of that.

Marjorie Taylor Greene Changed 1 Letter In 'MAGA' — And It Didn't Go So Well:

It may not be strictly true that “Marjorie Taylor Greene” is the literal Latin translation of “ignorant attention whore,” but this is my sandbox, and that’s what I’m going with. If one wanted to understand just how far the GOP has fallen and what sort of human trash it’s willing to tolerate in its ranks…well, here’s your sign, kids.

Yo, Marge—you’re an amoral, self-absorbed moron. No one cares what you think—and they certainly don’t care about your cheap, pointless stunts.

Heritage Foundation’s Snarky and Revealing Defense of Project 2025:

Seriously? This phony, anti-intellectual crap is what y’all are pushing?

The radical left hates families, because when people have strong families, they don’t worship big government and succumb to leftist ideologies like gender ideology. The Left wants to eliminate the family and replace it with the state.

Y’all do realize that you’re literally pushing fascism, right? And that your cheap, simplistic, and frankly insulting characterization of “the radical left” only proves how intellectually and morally bereft your ideology is.

Grow the fuck up and learn to reason like an actual adult, willya? Your cheap, arrogant, and unwarranted self-superiority is growing tiresome.

Oregon Faith Healing Parents Arrested Just For Letting Their Two-Day-Old Infant Die:

Yep, here in the 21st century, with all of the modern medical science available to Mankind, there are still idjits willing to allow their children to perish in gruesomely painful manners because they believe in the healing power of prayer.

Bonus: They live here in Oregon—in a suburb of Portland, no less.

(News flash: Prayer does not work. That shortcoming/reality is why we have medical science.)

Well, sure, and I believe the Minnesota Vikings will win a Super Bowl in my lifetime—but you won’t see me holding my breath on that count, eh? Besides, if prayer did work, don’t you think all those Lutherans in Minnesota would’ve seen their missives to the Lord answered by now?

What sort of compassionate God allows a team to go to four Super Bowls and lose (Minnesota) or four consecutive Super Bowls and lose (Buffalo)?

An Oregon City couple has been arrested on first and second degree criminal mistreatment charges related to the death of their infant child in 2023. The parents, Blair and Taylor Edwards, belong to a church called the Followers of Christ that believes in faith healing to the point of refusing to get medical treatment for most conditions. Unsurprisingly, this is very far from the first time that a child in this church has died from a treatable malady, nor the first time that adults in the church have been arrested for having denied their children medical treatment.

Baby Hayden Edwards was only two days old when his health started rapidly declining and he refused to eat. Instead of taking their child to the hospital like normal parents might have, they invited their friends and family from the church over to heal him — which the church does by praying over someone and anointing them with olive oil.

Well, duh; that’s a dumbass move. Any believer with half a brain KNOWS that olive oil never works on infants. You must use grapeseed oil or Pennzoil 10W40; olive oil is for amateurs and heretics.

And Mrs. Edwards is pregnant again. Kinda makes you wonder how they’re going to neglect and kill this child, doesn’t it? If they see children as gifts from God, you’d think they’d treat a child as such and do everything they can to protect it, no?

Uh…no.

Alarm in Israel at reports of possible ICC legal action over Gaza:

When you’re bombing schools and hospitals and killing innocent civilians in distressingly high numbers while showing no remorse or inclination to stop, you can’t claim surprise when the world begins to believe you’re committing war crimes.

Because there’s a pretty good chance that you are.

Israeli officials are increasingly concerned that the UN's top criminal court is planning to seek arrest warrants for their top military and political leaders on suspicion of war crimes.

Reports suggest Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu could be among them.

The International Criminal Court (ICC) has been investigating Israel's actions in the occupied territories for the past three years - and more recently the actions of Hamas as well. It has the power to charge and try individuals for the most serious crimes under international law.

It has previously issued arrest warrants for leaders including Russia's Vladimir Putin, Muammar Gaddafi of Libya, and Ugandan warlord Joseph Kony.

Mr Netanyahu has called the prospect of senior Israel figures joining the wanted list "an outrage of historic proportions", accusing the ICC of attempting to paralyse Israel's ability to defend itself.

I don’t know how you might feel about this, Mr. Prime Minister, but being mentioned in the same sentence as Putin and Gaddafi is not something to be proud of.

The fact that Netanyahu is reacting so publicly and firmly should be taken to indicate that he’s scared. And he should be. Israel has much to answer for, and, as the Jewish state’s Commander-in-Chief, so does he.

One Million Moms Yelling At Gay Zillow Porn Again:

If there are few things on this planet more predictably tiresome than One Million Moms, which is only Monica Cole sitting in her drab, moldy basement in Tupelo, MS, I’m at a loss to know what it would be. Cole seems to take herself and her beliefs WAY too seriously. Her supreme confidence in her ability to declare her own moral and theological superiority is wholly unwarranted.

And woe betide any company that dares to cross Monica Coles and her holy mission.

She sets to bellyaching:

Zillow Home Loans should be ashamed of its latest commercial, which attempts to normalize sin by featuring a same-sex couple buying a home together.

When she says, “attempts to normalize sin,” she means “acknowledges something that is already normal.” She can’t say that, though, because then she’d have to admit that her side has lost this war, forever. (“Not forever,” these people say to themselves under their breaths, as they masturbate to their fantasy of God sticking it to the libs for all eternity.)

Not today, Satan! Or, wait…sure, why not today? I have some time tomorrow afternoon, and I’m sick of Monica Cole bitching at me like she’s my moral policeman. I have no problem with her maintaining what beliefs she may have, but she doesn’t get to hold them over others like the sword of Damocles.

Despite rumors to the contrary, this is NOT a self-portrait of Ms. Coles:

Cole seeks to prevent kids from getting groomed by messages about gay couples doing extremely normal things like buying houses and saving for down payments. And if Zillow doesn’t do gay porn commercials full of gays, then Cole believes she will be able to successfully keep her and your children from that knowledge.

Bless her heart.

This new commercial for Zillow features two homosexual men sitting on the sofa together as one man gives a handmade gift to his partner in an attempt to save money for their future joint home purchase.

Dave Ramsey would surely not approve! (Because he’s a knuckle-dragging bigot who gives absolute garbage and comically out-of-date financial advice?)

OMIGAWD…HOMOSEXUAL men sitting on a sofa and enjoying each other’s company as they plan their future, which might be more financially secure if they can purchase a home.

Oh, the horror….

Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if Monica Cole tried to stay out of everyone’s business and allowed people to be who they wish to be? Especially if whatever they’re doing has no material impact whatsoever on the quality of her life. Frankly, none of this is any of her goddamned business, and the sooner she recognizes that everyone will benefit if she STFU, the better and more pleasant this world will be.

National Day of Prayer Task Force Promotes Dominionist Language, Christian Nationalist Speakers:

Everybody wants to rule the world, especially the American Taliban, who continue making a pretense of being about the teachings of Jesus Christ but are all about political power.

The National Day of Prayer is officially non-sectarian, but to no one’s surprise, it’s been co-opted by Christian Nationalists, who DO want to rule the world.

Interesting. This world has more than 3000 religions, and yet the American Taliban believes that ONLY their bitchy, homicidal, and hemorrhoidal flavor of God is the One, True, and ONLY Faith ©. What an extraordinary coincidence that they picked the right one. It’s almost like they won the cosmic lottery.

Mama must be SO proud.

Whistleblower Joshua Dean, who raised concerns about Boeing jets, dies at 45:

Do you believe in coincidence? How about two quality auditors from Boeing shedding their mortal coil within three months, all while the company is under investigation for significant quality control issues?

Coincidence? Or just terrible luck? It’s almost like they worked for Vladimir Putin and then fell out of favor.

Joshua Dean, a former quality auditor at a key Boeing supplier who raised concerns about improperly drilled holes in the fuselage of 737 Max jets, has died.

Dean, 45, died on Tuesday morning, his family announced on social media. His family told NPR on Thursday that Dean had quickly fallen into critical condition after being diagnosed with a MRSA bacterial infection.

He was airlifted from ​​a hospital in Wichita, Kan., to another facility in Oklahoma City, but medical teams were unable to save his life, according to The Seattle Times, which was the first to report his death….

Dean is the second Boeing-related whistleblower to die in the past three months. In March, John Barnett, 62, died in Charleston, S.C., "from what appears to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound," the local coroner said. At the time, Barnett had been testifying in his retaliation lawsuit against Boeing. Police in Charleston say they're still investigating his death.

All of this intrigue is starting to sound like a Netflix series. It’s a dark and rainy night. Two men slowly walk toward one another on a bridge. Suddenly, one of the men feels a sharp pain in his leg from the tip of the other man’s umbrella. Two days later, he dies an excruciatingly painful death.

Coincidence? Only if you believe in that sort of thing.

House Democrats Swear They Are Not Enjoying GOP's Dysfunction — Honest!:

What’s the longest-running comedy show in Washington, DC, these days? You shouldn’t even have to stop and think about it, given that DC isn’t a town known for being particularly amusing.

It’s easy, y’all- the House Republican Caucus is by far the most (unintentionally) hilarious show in town, mainly because they’re more focused on internecine warfare than legislation.

Democratic staffers on Capitol Hill were recently discussing the state of the House in a group chat when one posted a meme from “The Simpsons” to illustrate the point.

The choice? Two knife-wielding monkeys fighting as onlookers surround them in a circle and cheer them on. The implication was the monkeys were the House Republicans and the bystanders were the Democrats.

While Republicans retain the House majority, the extent of infighting has become glaringly apparent in recent weeks, most notably with Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) threatening to call for a vote to oust Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.).

Publicly, Democrats are avoiding giving Republicans what coaches would call “bulletin board material,” a slight or insult around which the GOP could rally, but they also want to project an air of seriousness as an implicit contrast to Republicans’ ineptitude.

House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) smiled for just a second when asked Wednesday if Democrats are enjoying Republicans’ misfortune. Then he launched into a very measured and dull answer.

Of course, Democrats aren’t going to give anything to Republicans, who are capable of hanging themselves by their testicles without help from anyone.

As for Democrats, one would have to think that, on some level, they’re enjoying watching Republicans making asses of themselves. Still, they came to Washington to do a job, and it’s much more challenging to do that job when the other party acts as if they’re auditioning for the “Sideshow Bob Comedy Hour.”

Unfortunately, the GOP side of the aisle is full of unserious, attention-seeking, brain-dead clowns who think they know what’s best for America.

Right, one was busted for groping her date’s crotch during a performance of “Beetlejuice,” another has waxed philosophic about “Jewish space lasers,” and don’t get me wound up about the rest of the intellectual and moral nonentities in the Freedumb Caucus. It won’t end well.

Stoopid iz as stoopid duz.