Sitemap - 2024 - North Stars and Cowboy Bars
"When the green dark forest was too silent to be real"
Welcome to the Stupidverse, where "Right-wing influencers" RULE
If this were an actual emergency, you'd be instructed to kiss your ass goodbye
Every dog has its day...which is more than can be said for some American humanoids
God hates us and wishes we would eat a bag of dicks (The "Old Yeller's Dead" mix)
"This product does three times the nothing that most other supplements do!"
Greetings and welcome to the Agolf Shitler Sewage Treatment Center
Racism is stupid, racists are the stupiderest
Are you drinking more bleach than you were four years ago?
Ignorance is not a compelling argument... it's the ONLY argument
Karma (n.)- When the "dumbest man on da Interwebz" finally gets his
United States v. Jesus...I mean, Agolf Shitler...no, I mean, Donald J. Diaperstain
Agolf Shitler is still running the show, because his hypocrisy knows no limits
Wait...Sydney Sweeney's boobs killed "wokeness?" When did this happen??
Tom Cotton- a "bloodthirsty ghoul" with a Napoleon complex
God hates us and wishes we would eat a bag of dicks (the Dogpatch mix)
Conservatives claim credit for invention of sex...film at 11
Life's a beach...and sometimes, that's not such a bad thing
Next on the Captain Obvious Show, MTG is an idiot and a Russian plant
Who knew that Dolt 45 is a (barely) human, toxic gas emitting Superfund site?
A minor Saturday morning epiphany
I'm 99% certain my last words will be "Are you fucking kidding me??"
Remember when America helped its friends? Republican no longer care.
God hates us and wishes we would eat a bag of dicks (the dance mix)
Hating transgender people; it's what Jesus would do, yeah?
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of boobs...or something like that
Jack shows so much promise...but he lacks focus and has no attention span
Separating dumb people from their money is easier than you might think
Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing- winning...and boobs
"He's working fer God, ferdarnsure...."
When life gives you lemons, how 'bout some boobs?
One Million Moms- Saving the world from insinuated profanity and insinuated boobs
There are Republican assholes...and then there are Texas Republican assholes
"Vaccine lettuce" and other problems you'll never face in Tennessee
This week's 12 signs that God hates us and wishes we would eat a bag of dicks
Arizona- where women are once again property. Make America 1864 Again!!
Hey, Jack...how 'bout a nice hot cuppa STFU??
"Never surrender to the tie-ranny"
Hey, did I miss the Rapture or something??
This week was brought to you by the law firm of "More, Dumber, & Holee-Schitt"
Hey, ladies...didja know that birth control will make you bitter and vote Democratic?
Imagine wanting four more years of Trump's Reign of Error? WTF is wrong??
Republican and meaningless, performative bullshit- We're not going to fix things, so....
Maple syrup and marzipan...or, life in the sweet lane
Make America Gagalicious Again
When it comes to age and infirmity, we're worrying about the wrong candidate
"We are losing our kids to a Satanic cult"
Make America Reasonable Again- We should be able to meet in the middle, right?
Transgender Day of Visibility was no threat to Easter or Christians
This Week on "Moist Dingus Watch"
Err Jordan- Jordan Peterson thinks Hoboken saving the lives of residents is "woke"
Show me your budget and I'll tell you what you value
"A Christian Nationalist's wet dream"
EXCLUSIVE: Excerpts From The Autographed MAGA Bible
The More You Know.... Black people and DEI are responsible for ALL of our problems!
We, the American Sheeple, didn't force NBC News to fire Eva Braun...er, Ronna McDaniel
NBC News backtracks- "When somebody does the right thing, it should be acknowledged"
Ronna Romney McDaniel- "You wouldn't hire a pickpocket to work as a TSA screener"
Alabama's "Thank God I was born White" bill
Elvira, a moist dingus, and anti-vaxxers...in other words, a typical Monday
Crime rates are declining...unless you're listening to Republicans (MIGRANTS!!!)
Ronna McDaniel climbs into bed with the Devil...or, as you might know it, NBC News
Conquering AmeriKKKa and killing infidels for Christ
Alabama, Pakistan...religion isn't the problem; it's the intellectual infidels behind them
Jared Kushner believes ocean-front property in Gaza is a bargain these days!
MAGA Republicans- Remember, everything's bad because Democrats f@#$%d things up
If you won't help fix the problem, just blame "Joe Biden's 'open borders' policy"
Are you a Good Jew or a Bad Jew?
It's an easy mistake to make, assuming Republicans are rational and reasonable
When they tell you they want to create an autocracy, believe them
Today's unsolicited piece of advice- Don't piss on my head and tell me that it's raining
"She's probably menopausal".... Trump supporters giving new meaning to "WTF??"
We get precisely the quality of leadership we deserve, but seriously...Donald Trump??
TikTok- "Digital Fentanyl?"...or a buncha oldsters fearing what they don't understand, #2
TikTok- "Digital Fentanyl?"...or a buncha oldsters fearing what they don't understand, #1
Mark Robinson- A walking, talking ad for Christian love (not) and Thorazine
Kirk Cousins- quarterback, businessman, and one helluva gambler
Today's coffee-spew moment- "Democrats for Ted Cruz"
The war in Gaza- Killing is easy; peace is hard
Alabama Stepford Wife Engages in Damage Control and fails miserably...film @11
This just in- Stepford Wife delivers GOP response to State of the Union address
"God's Avengers" have no place in America's secular government
The state of our union is...well, shit, we're killing it over here!!
America needs humane, rational, and compassionate immigration reform
Digging our graves with our teeth- What manner of dystopian hellscape is this?
My adventure with cheap wine and Russian cigarettes...and how I lived to tell the tale
Confederacy of Dunces...or, as we know it, TrumpWorld
Lighten up, Francis- The "Woke Mind Virus" isn't killing Western Civilization
Christofascism is killing edumication- It's so easy a caveman could do it...because they are
Christian Nationalists hate it when you tell the truth about their fascist plans for America
Awkward Conversations I Have with Baristas
What IS pornography? Only Conservatives know for sure...and they're not sure.
My hope for humanity is that everyone will know the love of a dog
I May Live In The Big City, But I'm Still A Small-Town Boy
I'm not sure Jesus ever said, "We need more God in our government!"
First they came for the chickens, but the Trump supporters wanted them for dinner
The United...er, Divided, States of America
You leave Dear Leader alone, or we'll...well, I'm not sure what we'll do, but it'll be bad!!!
AmeriKKKa- property of White Conservative Christian Cisgender Heterosexuals
How To Be a Profoundly Shitty Person 101, taught by Prof. Bethany Mandel
Two years of war in Ukraine- And Republicans are playing a lively game of "Fuck your Buddy"
Indecision 2024- America's future is in the hands of stupid people
The Cluth Theory of Humanity- If it can't shoot a free throw, it's not a human being
Mark Robinson's new campaign slogan- "North Carolina: Just Shit Anywhere!!"
Donald J. Diaperload- For many years people have been saying that Elvis and I look alike
Trump Sneakers- A cheap rip-off, because everything he does is derivative
I hear Kramatorsk is lovely this time of year
"I've been dead for thirty years, and I'm still ashamed of you"
Trump supporters and reality- existing on parallel tracks that will never meet
Taylor Swift- "casting spells" for Lucifer
The death of Alexei Navalny- Vladimir Putin does his worst to Russia's best
The death of Alexey Navalny- Evil triumphs, and feckless Republicans will do nothing
A man walks into a bar and...um, that's the joke, the whole joke, and nothing but the joke
Let's stop focusing on our daughters' vaginal state as a barometer of their worth as humans
Today's big ol' dump o' knowledge
He washed my feet, but he still hates LGBTQ people, right?
Joe Biden, Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift, and George Soros rule the world
Why the double standard when it comes to Joe Biden's age vis-a-vis Donald Trump?
The hardest thing is to find a black cat in a dark room, especially if there's no cat to be found
"[Y]yes, she is a girl. She was born a girl. She knows she’s a girl." And dumbasses gonna dumbass.
It's never too late to be who you are
Why would you need absolute immunity if you've done nothing wrong?
Oregon Republicans f**k around, and- SURPRISE!!!- find out
Texas- Where climate change is a "radical environmentalist agenda"
A trip down the rabbit hole- I explore Truth Social so you don't have to
Is naked xenophobia a Republican fetish...or just a hot new Conservative pornography trend?
Sen. J.D. Vance (R-OH)- remember when he modeled honesty and integrity? Me, either.
Joe Biden hasn't addressed the threat of UFOs in nine days. How could he be so thoughtless?
"God's Army" convoy proves MAGA is just one LOOOONG con
Donald Trump's Economic Policy- READY!! FIRE!! AIM!!
The Republican National Committee and the power of collective self-delusion
Free speech is not speech without consequences, even for Elon Musk
Brenden Dilley wants to "punish that bitch." Millions of Swifties would like a word with him.
It's a good thing this is a Christian nation, 'cuz those damned atheists ruin EVERYTHING!
Taylor Swift- One of Joe Biden's most brilliant and insidiously effective "psyops"
Hmm...Taylor Swift or Alina Habba? At least Taylor Swift doesn't have to fake being smart.
Stochastic Terrorism 1, Oklahoma 0
Cruelty, thou art without a doubt a Republican
Donald Trump & the Law of Unintended Consequences- NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A BOX!
The F**k-up Fairy's in town...and I'm too jet-lagged to give a damn
This just in from our St. Paul bureau: RepubliKKKans is WEERD
Life- sometimes you just need a bucket of caffeine to get through the day
Remember when Elise Stefanik used to model honesty and integrity? Yeah, I don't either.
83,300,000 is my new favorite number
MAGA intellectuals: "[W]hat we see is a rise of communism, all over the United States"
Whiny, delicate MAGA snowflake incels prove why they'll never get laid
"WE STAND WITH TYLER BASS. DON'T BULLY OUR FRIEND."
"Tim Scott is a clown, and I’m too sick to my stomach to write any more"
If Pride flags turn kids gay, do science books make them smart?
You must be THIS brown to claim that you've experienced racism
The Dildo of Consequences rarely arrives lubed- the downfall of Ron DeSantis
Countless bursts of light shining through
For the future of America, Jesus must become our homeboy
Ah, Karma...thou art a fickle- but just- judge of human foolishness
Verily, though our brothers and sisters may freeze to death, at least it won't be SOCIALISM!!!
You're alive, so seize the opportunity to tell someone that you love them before they aren't
Known rapist and criminal complains about being given insufficient free propaganda time
Hmm...feed children or build more cruise missiles? Quite the dilemma, eh?
Mark Robinson should be doing the Thorazine Shuffle, not being Governor of North Carolina
Traumatic Brain Injuries and football- Your passion shouldn't kill you
You're alive, so use that as an opportunity to tell someone that you love them before they aren't
Stupid- the gift that keeps on giving...and giving...and giving....
Why do Christians take themselves and their religion so seriously?
Of course, they'll listen to us...we're important
This just in- Aaron Rodgers is beginning to closely resemble a horse's ass
Compassion, tolerance, and kindness aren't options...especially in a would-be President
January 6- Who are you going to believe? Me? Or your lying eyes?
Joe Biden- Everything Orange Jesus will never be
So God made Trump...build an empire of lies
Elise Stefanik- Willfuly dishonest...and built to stay that way
On this week's episode of "F**k Around and Find Out"....
This just in: Christians aren't sending their best (to Congress)
January 6th, 2021...(not) just another normal tourist day
Freedom OF religion also means freedom FROM religion...unless we're talking about Oklahoma
Alina Habba- If she's hot enough, no one will notice that she's a terrible lawyer
Sen. Ted Cruz- A blight on humanity AND a curse to Texas' sports teams
This just in: Lindsey Graham is actually a 6'2" Puerto Rican transgender woman...or is he?
Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift, and...Yoko Ono??
Ted Cruz- Wisdom and knowledge don't mean what you think they do